I am 24/7 caregiver for my sister who has Alzheimer's. We live together in a lakesite golf cart community on Elks property in Texas. Once very social and only moderately "loopy," a recent kidney infection seriously affected her mind. She knows what she is saying, but it just doesn't come out right. Doctors have no idea why this happened. CAT Scan and MRI revealed nothing. The lodge is the social center of this mostly older community. Today she was snubbed. I actually overheard a friend tell another, "You don't want to sit there, trust me." As in, don't sit next to Sharon. I was mortified for her. This man turned his back on her. He was once one of her favorite people. Everyone went on with their happy times and we were left out. Yes, it's hard to talk to her. You can't say you don't know what she means and ask her to explain. She has no idea that she's not making any sense. There ARE ways to follow her train of thought and make her feel included! I’ve told people to smile and say hello. Follow her facial expressions and body language. If she laughs after spewing a bunch of numbers, laugh WITH her! Give her a hug and tell her you love her and go back to your own table. It’s so simple. How do you handle this forced social isolation? I don’t want to just keep her home! I’ve never felt so lonely. I’m Susan.
Humans are animals to a degree, except they speak. That’s a curse and a blessing. So that woman who persuaded the man to shun your mom is an animal, domineering the others. It’s not pretty to watch if the shunned are someone you love.
My mom was always ‘Chatty Cathy’ until she developed dementia. I’m no expert but she has seemed to reduce the amount she talks in social situations. She smiles and giggles and lets the others speak. When I’m with her she’s silent and so am I.
I have loved her for a lifetime and feel like we used our chances to have conversations very well. This silence is comforting. Touch is something that’s perfect, hand holding, hugs...
These are similar situations when years ago, individuals had a diagnosis of cancer. These days, most people understand it is not contagious. Time and information helps to change reactions. You are on the foundation of educating others through sharing your experiences.
As for the individuals who are unkind, I agree it is often due to a lack of understanding and not wanting to hurt someone because they don't know what to say. Unfortunately, there are always those who are just unkind. I pray for them. :)