Am I being selfish or is my way of thinking correct?

Trust your intuition always. The home is wanting to make as much money out of each patient as possible..including your Mother.
If you sign the company that owns the nursing home will have the right to sue you for any unpaid bills
You don't need to put your and your husbands financial stability at risk to satisfy the greed of the nursing home company imho
Many lawyers will speak to you for free on the phone. Consider calling a lawyer to confirm what I have described above.
Re brain function and mental clarity .
Medical studies (and 2000 years of recorded herbal knowledge) confirm that the simple herb Rosemary will, over time, improve liver function, cognition, well being and happiness
When you get your Mother home you might consider giving her plenty of Rosemary (if possible fresh tops of the plant in flower..if not dried herb or even tea bags) with raw honey. Additionally adding rosemary to a morning bath or warm wash water will ease the aches, pains and stiffness that many older bodies suffer
Bless you for questioning what is best for your Mother

Absolutely not. You are not selfish. Mom's care expenses are hers not yours. Do not sign anything that would make you personally responsible. Other posters will have details on this issue. Igloo is very good on these issues. I'd start thinking and planning now, because as your mom ages it almost surely will become a major issue.

Never sign anything that says you will be responsible for your Mom's or anyone else's expenses. My lawyer has drilled that into my head every single time I speak to her. It is not being selfish, it is being smart and it's watching out for yourself. All the nursing home is interested in is getting paid. If insurance is paying for the first 20 days, then she's covered. If she needs help at home, that can be set up and paid for out of pocket from your Mom's money. If she needs extra time in there, then let them work that out with the Doctors. Every time my Dad needed extra time in the rehab he was in, they did the paperwork for the insurance and it was always covered. READ EVERYTHING THEY GIVE YOU because they can use different wording to say you'll be responsible. If there's a question, have a lawyer look over any paperwork you sign before signing.

I cannot believe a nursing home would be legally allowed to make such a request. In any event as others have said, say NO

Selfish? NO! You need your money for yourself. She needs to pay for her own care, very simple.

Imho, YOU are NEVER responsible for your mother's expenses.

If your Mom is there for only 2 weeks, medicare usually covers that. Why does the facility need you to sign papers for financial coverage during her 2 week stay? That's double dipping which is illegal. Sounds like the writing is on the wall for this facility, if your Mom needs to be in a nursing home I would try to get her into another one if that is possible. Now that you have had some education on all this, and if you are able to move her, if that is the direction you are going in, ask a new place to receive a copy of their paperwork before you do anything.
I went thru something similar with my Uncle. I send them a monthly payment from his checkbook. They asked for his SSI payouts and pension benefits go into an account they set up at the facility for him, I said no and they accepted it, no argument. I filed for medicaid for him. The amount the facility said he owed monthly was higher then when the medicaid approval come thru so it was all adjusted. Depending on how much money your Mom has, she may need to do a spend down first, I did not have to go thru this. Remember, whomever you talk to at the facility works for the facility, get someone on your side. I know its overwhelming to take care of all this, but it is all worth it. Good luck and I hope this helps you.

My lawyer told me to sign my name as POA by (insert mother’s name).

This is the kinda stuff you have to watch. Caregivers are burned out and tired. As such, they just roll with whatever the Nursing Home suggests.

Look into setting up a Third Party Special Needs Trust.
If the person is disabled, they qualify and, if I'm remembering correctly, any $$ they receive for medical issues, e.g., Medicare, Medical etc., is not required to be repaid upon their death.
Verify this info with a lawyer or on-line.

IMHO.... you are not being selfish, you are being smart. If you have DPOA for your Mom, you can sign the paperwork using that title. I would not sign it unless you have DPOA. Since your Mom seems to be pretty much with it, the rehab facility can always have her sign her own paperwork but at this stage of her life you should definitely work with an eldercare attorney to make sure that she has a current, DPOA, healthcare proxy and an Advanced Directive.

You might want to really look and read the documents they want you to sign (I know..... it seems like that stack is bigger than War and Peace). In some instances the agreement ask you to be responsible for managing a residents finances not for paying for them (I worked at a facility that did that). The difference - the former statement wanted someone who would pay for Mom's trip to the inhouse beauty salon (that's always a separate charge), come to care conferences and in general be a point of contact. The latter statement wants you to fork over your money to pay Mom's bills (DON'T DO THAT.............. EVER!!) Yep ..... I'm shouting because that's important. Don't ever use your funds to pay for Mom's expenses. Better yet.... get hold to an eldercare attorney and let her/him read the agreement.

She will probably be a great candidate for rehab and will leave the facility after her 20 days but there is always the "next time" as a possibility so get those ducks in a row now while you can. And if you already have all of the above documents, I'd glance and make sure they were all fairly current and up to date.

Your mother is responsable for herself unless you are the person the dependency court has given you custody of your mother. Even then it is with her money you put twords her care. Apply for medicade and the elgability monthly will be determined. Remember if she has a spendown always have in the plan to return home. This exempts her home to be a asset. If on medicade living with you or in a facility...you spend her money not yours and medicade will pay above her liability in a facility. The nursing home has a social worker that helps with medicade. Your example of request you to be responsable is there getting the bill paid and not helping you to apply for medicade.

YOU are NOT responsible for your mothers expenses, if she runs out of money, get with their administrator and set up to get Medicaid for your mother.  Get in touch with an elder attorney.  I am surprised that they want YOU to pay for HER...........she is not your dependent child.  Now if they want someone to be responsible for handling her expenses, that is different but not to be responsible.  Wishing you luck and do NOT sign those papers until you speak with either an elder attorney, aging office or the NH administrator.

Not sure if this is the norm with senior care facilities when insurance reimbursement runs out. Maybe they have to ask per law?

Always ok to decline. No need to feel guilty. Plenty of great answers here to not have mom sign a contract with them. My gut feeling is that they are wanting money any way they can get it.

Hope you can find a better situation for your mother.

Don't sign anything. Stick to your guns!

Absolutely not! Who will take care of you or your husband should you need care? I suggest you to talk to an elder care attorney. I did after a similar situation. The cost was going to be $10,000 - $12,000 a month just for room and board! My husband and I would be broke within 12 - 18 months. Then what?

NO, you're not selfish. It's your intuition telling you something is wrong. This allows the nursing home to hold you responsible for whatever fees they deem exceeds your mother's ability to cover. And they WILL bloat and create expenses as they did with my mother. DO NOT SIGN! However, if you are well to do and can pay through the nose, they will take better care of your mother.

Don't sign any paperwork assuming responsibility for her nursing home bills. Also, do not allow her to sign any paperwork at the nursing home other than admitting forms and forms giving permission for them to bill Medicare and her insurance. Do not give them her social security number either. Tell them they are to send you a monthly bill and you will pay it. Then pay it using a certified, cashier's check from the bank. Don't let them have her bank account numbers either. Please don't.
This is how nursing homes work and get away with it. If they have information like SS numbers and bank accounts numbers they will withdraw money from the account whether you like it or not. It happened to me when my father was in one and at the time they did it insurance was paying for everything. I went through hell and high water to get that money back. Then I had to make all new bank accounts so the nursing home didn't have the banking information. The nursing home was only paid what they were owed and not a penny more. Also, don't take their word for it about when the insurance expires and stops paying. They will lie about that too in order to collect double and get away with it. They did it to us. You check with Medicare and insurance about when they will stop paying. They also bill a month in advance a bed and services that haven't even been given yet.
They will tell you and your mom that she owns money in arrears. She doesn't. They want payment a month in advance. So, if she comes home on say the first of a month, she's paying $10,000 to $15,000 a month extra because they bill ahead.
Absolutely refuse to give them any of this information on your mom. They will not throw her out because you insist on a written, itemized bill for her care once a month. Good luck.

If your mother is cognizant enough to sign the paperwork, she should sign it.

This way, if she dies you do not have to pay her bills.

Do not sign the paperwork.

Do not pay any of her bills, if she dies. You are not legally responsible to pay the bills of a dead person unless you are co-owner of a home or a credit card.

You are definitely not being selfish.

Dear PJsummer,
The medical profession and Nursing Homes in particular are well known for trying to make Adult Children responsible for the cost of their parents, siblings and other family members. SAY NO!!!! Do not cave in. I write this reply from the patients perspective. I was diagnosed with Early Onset ALZ more than 4.5 yrs ago. MY DW and I took what we thought were all the right moves to protect our family from driving itself in to bankruptcy I was personally responsible when my oldest child was in Neonatal ICU the first five weeks of his life. My ex and I did not have health insurance at the time. We paid what we could, but in order to stay afloat, we had to go the Bankruptcy route, which you could find yoursel in taking on Mom's medical bills.
I suggest you reach out a Medicaid for guidance on how to move forward. The nursing home isn't likely going to help you with that. Perhaps I'm wrong. Protect your finances to take care of yourself, and do what you can for your mother. I wish you good luck in the future. DON"T PAY !!!!

God Bless you, prayers are going up. John

In response to numerous statements below , I sign everything, checks ,care plans etc with POA behind my name , first off , it shows it was for my mom, 2nd I am not responsible...

my husband’s family is pressuring us, my mother’s family pressuring me , to do financial things. Is not going to happen. My mom never worked , while her children were at school , my mom sat and played solitaire, watched soaps. She now has the dreaded hump back .... hmmmm wonder why.... but in any case , I started working as junior in high school, retired at 3 yrs ago at age 62 ... Regardless of what others think , I make those on the above criteria..

PROTECT yourself, don’t let anyone guilt or bully you .Do what you can, don’t do what will cause issues for you.

Nope. Don’t do it.

no , you are not being selfish, you will need that money so your family doesn’t have to take care of you.

No. Your mom should sign her own paperwork if she is mentally competent.

I am confused, when my dad went to rehab nothing was signed. Insurance cards were provided and that was all.

You can contact the ombudsman and ask for guidance if you feel like you are being pressured to do this or moms care will suffer. This information is readily available in the packet of documents that you are being asked to sign, if not, huge waving red flag.

Absolutely NOT. You are not responsible for paying anything out of your own pocket. They'll try to bully you but don't give in.

"A red flag for me was that I was asked to sign when my mother was capable of doing it herself. They said it would be too traumatic for her."

A few years ago I came up with a special term for situations like this: "BS in its purest form"! The people telling you this are worse than corrupt politicians, greedy funeral directors and shady used-car salesmen, and I wouldn't trust anything they tell you until you verify it independently.

It looks as if you have done the first step correctly by refusing to sign to assume financial responsibility out of your own funds. That's why Medicaid exists.

If mom has NOT been declared incompetent then she can legally sign her own paperwork.
But you do NOT have to sign saying you would be responsible for her expenses.
Cost of rehab and anything else is paid for by insurance then HER assets. If she has no assets then application for Medicaid would be in order.

Thank you for asking this question. The answers were helpful to me as well.

The nursing care facility is using a strong arm which is not ethical or with moral compass. 1st off, if your mom has no assets or abilities to pay, you opt for Medicaid assistance for your mom. You are not responsible for your moms debts unless you have signed to do so. I suggest you research with a elder law attorney. Many will give a free initial consultation where you can ask the legalities of the proposed transaction the home is asking of you. But, I believe that your mind is correctly thinking and you should not be responsible for her expenses.
BEST of luck

If it were me I would sign it as POA after your name....in large letters.   In other words you are signing for your mom, not as yourself.  Your mom, her assets and whatever insurance she has is responsible for her debts.

You are correct; your mother's finances should pay for her medical expenses - including rehab/residential home, The rehab/residential home wants a guarantee that they will be paid. Find a place that will help sign mom up for Medicaid if she needs it and will accept Medicaid payments.