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I was hired be a woman whose father has Alzheimers./dementia as a companion. Stay with him for 4-5 hrs a day, 5 days /week. I was paid $440/wk.
She wanted me to live in . After i agreed to move in she expected me to be with her Dad for 12 hrs a day 5 days/wk for $440/wk. and charge me $900 rent paid in hours worked. I calculated 8hrs /day would cover what shes paying me. Nut she said it s a 12 hour a day job. After 8 hrs i feel like i should be free until the next day but she expects me to return to put her dad to bed.
i made the same money before i moved in plus other jobs. I had to give up my other jobs and have no home to return to. Am i wrong to think my day ends after 8 hrs work??

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No, and she needs to hire relief caregivers. It’s clear that one person can’t do it all. As for charging rent, that’s ridiculous. She hired you as a live-in. Living in is part of the deal. Food should be included too, as long as you and the patient eat the same meals.
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Bitz - you are being taken advantage of BIG TIME. If you go to work at an office, do you have to pay rent for the office space or the desk? Of course not, so why are you being charged for being at the home where you are required to be in order to work? She is not supposed to charge rent. Also, $440/w for 60 hours = $7.33/hr. Since you're paying rent, which mean you're netting about $860 a month for working 240 hours which comes out to $3.58/hr. You're being used as a slave.

Look for another job.
Rent a cheap room and move out.
Quit this slave job.
Report her to your state labor board/agency

On this forum, I have seen a number of 'live-in' caregivers like yourself who got practically nothing for working 24/7/365, and when the Alzheimer/dementia patient died, the adult children tossed the caregiver out on the street.

Do not go down this road, you will be left homeless, penniless, and jobless.
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The question you should be asking is, "Should I stay and allow this woman to take advantage of me?"

This gig is not benefitting you *at all* -- even if she's paying you cash.

From everything I've read on this forum, when caregivers are "live in" and have no written contract, they often are expected to be on-call 24/7. This is not realistic or sustainable. I'm assuming there's not written contract between you and the woman who hired you.

People in the corporate world who work 12-hr days usually only work 4-days a week. This is to comply with labor laws and to not burn people out.

You need to make at least $15 per hr, with extra for "over time", and have a written contract. This also means not getting paid in cash. Getting paid in cash means that your "employer" is not doing payroll tax withholding -- i.e. contributing to your Social Security fund -- something that you'll really need when it's your time to retire. You will shoot yourself in the foot if you continue with this work arrangement. This woman is getting all the benefits here. Once the patient passes you'll be out of a job with no work history for a resume, no SS contributed and a 30-day eviction notice. Maybe consider moving out and working for an agency full-time: you'll make more than what you are now, and have benefits. The industry is very hard up for caregivers. I wouldn't continue with this gig... I've been an employer for 38 yrs and I think this woman is going to screw you over. The ball is in your court to take control before this happens.
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I think the 13th Amendment (or similar law in your country) has your back on this one.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
I couldn’t agree more! It’s crazy how some people take advantage of their employees.
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Oh gosh, your boss should appreciate all that you do for her, not take advantage of you.

Find a new job and give her your notice.

No one would want to continue working for her. It’s a shame that she doesn’t realize how to treat people who are doing a very tough job.
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OP says the 12 hrs were expected after she moved in. And the cost of her room was part of her salary. If OP had known her rights, she could have said room and board cannot be charged as part of wages.
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What does your employment contract say? Please tell me you didn't take the position without something in writing.
You agreed to a 12 hour day. Unless you have your hours in writing, your employer could expect those hours to be put in at different times of their choosing. They may not want you to simply be on the scene for 12 hours straight.
Room and board can be factored in as part of the paid wages for a live-in caregiver.
As it stands, your employer has you over a barrel. You could refuse to put him to bed and she could refuse to pay you. Start looking for a new place to live, and in the future never take a live-in position. If you do, make sure you get an employment contract clearly stating the hours. I own and operate a homecare agency and we do not provide live-in services. I provide 24 hour service, but not live-in because it causes way too many problems.
If you want this kid of work, take up a 24 hour caregiving position that has several caregivers.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
How wonderful that you provide 24 hour care! That is a huge plus in my book.

Sometimes a person needs more than a few hours of time.

You know what is odd to me? Sometimes, people just don’t listen and expect more than they deserve from caregivers, housekeepers, etc.

I listened exactly to what the agency said that they provided and I didn’t ask for anything more from the caregiver.

There was one caregiver who really loved my mom. She was an excellent fit and got along so well with mom.

She saw me vacuuming when my mom was napping and asked if she needed her to vacuum for me. I couldn’t believe it!

I told her that I truly appreciated the offer but I didn’t expect her to do the vacuuming in my bedroom. She insisted that she didn’t mind and that she liked staying busy.

I didn’t allow her to vacuum my room and told her that she was welcome to go into the kitchen for coffee and a snack. We loved her and kept her favorite snacks in the kitchen.

When I was on bedrest with my pregnancy I had to hire a housekeeper. I told my daughter that she needed to pick up her toys so the housekeeper could clean her room.

The housekeeper said that most parents expected her to pick up the toys. That’s crazy! I didn’t want my child to think that it was the housekeeper’s job to pick up after her.
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Why did you agree to move in? What was your thinking at the time?

Where were you living before you moved in, and what were your other jobs while you were taking care of the man for 4-5 hours/day?
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How did you agree to that?
You were making around $440 which is roughly $1700 for 4 weeks working 25 hours weekly which is 100 hours so making about $17 per hour.
Now 12 hours daily for the same amount $440/60 hrs means a little more than $7 per hour. 1700 per month minus 900 rent. I am just doing quick calculations in my head so correct me if I am wrong, even so this lady really is taking advantage of you! It is pretty much free labour!
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OP only found out that lady wanted her to work 12 hours after she moved in. Looks like somebody is taking advantage of you and it will be more.
I know this couple, caregiver was supposed to work 8 hours but since she was there they decided to go for walks, dinners, felt it was OK she was there anyway. Not according to labour law, when caregiver reported they had to pay for extras including overtime. Somebody cannot decide arbitrarily to set hours as they see fit.
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