I have read multiple times in different legitimate places that people usually wait too long to call in hospice. I would like to hear your stories of how hospice helped you or even more how they didn't help you.
I am specifically looking for people who called hospice in not at the last 2 weeks of their loved ones' life but rather when they had 5 months left to live. OR even if you started hospice & hospice left after the 6 month mark and then you had to call hospice back again 1 or 2 or even 3 times. Thank you in advance for sharing. Bless you all for doing what you do.
I owned a mobile home in a park near my home, I placed him there with 24/7 Hospice help, maybe 10 weeks. The last two weeks I moved him to hospice outside of the home, which is where he died.
IMO, don't wait, serves no purpose, accept the reality of the situation and make a plan, move forward.
Take care!
This should all be explained to you when the client is admitted.
My Dad was on Hospice for 5 wks before his death. I can't imagine having it much longer. "Is this going to be the day" is stressful enough without having to do the Caregiving especially if you have never done it before. I don't think you can get away from being stressed out.
If they don't know what the problem is they can't fix it.
The last thing anyone on Hospice wants to do is add more stress to your life. It is stressful enough witnessing and caring for a loved one decline and reach the End of Life.
I will add that there are some people that get jobs with Hospice and they are not cut out for it and they do not last long.
I fired my dad's first hospice company when they didn't return phone calls, became argumentative when I tried to change the time for a procedure (so Dad could see his granddaughter one last time), and the straw that broke the camel's back was when the social worker, in response to my question if there were support services for the family, said "This isn't about you!"
They were gone the next day, and I told them EXACTLY why.
I found another company and talked to them before firing the first company (ahem, Vitas), and the new company took care of everything, including telling Vitas they were being replaced and arranging everything for a seamless switch that inconvenienced my dad for a total of 45 minutes while his hospital bed was being switched out for another one.
It was the best decision I made, because a couple of weeks later, after spending another sleepless night on a hardwood floor next to my dad, I called the new company and said, "I can't do this anymore." There was a nurse at the door within two hours, and a nurse was there for the whole night and all the next day until Dad passed.
I was also caring for my mother and trying to navigate her dementia along with the death of my dad and her husband of 66 years. It was difficult, heartbreaking, and surreal, and the only thing that kept me from collapse was the second hospice company.
If you aren't feeling like hospice is working with you, then get another company in there. Their job is not only to support the patient but also you, the caregiver. If they're failing, then let them go.
And it was pass time as she quickly went from falling to barely being able to pivot with assisted , to not standing and diapers..
Cover99,: Yes , one more day pass Mother’s Day… I think she was trully shooting for it😉😎she suddenly became combative when the caregivers tried to give her , her morphine… quit eating drinking, would cover her mouth so they could not give her anything.
when I arrived on Mother’s Day, my mom was in extreme pain because of her refusals. Caregivers cannot force you. I called Hospice and they were out after having dealt with another family’s Loved one passing.. I don’t know what we would have done with hospice…
thank you all again💕
We also did hospice in our house for my mil. She moved from home health care to hospice within the same agency over a period of 8 1/2 months. She liked talking to the nurse, she liked the bed baths given by the aide. It was a very positive experience for all of us.
My daughters hospice was in our home. She had cancer. She was 30. Her hospice lasted for about 4 months. They were a wonderful, caring agency. They came about 2-3 times a week. It was just enough help. She was very strong almost until the last moments and extremely cooperative patient,
My brother’s hospice agency was horrible. My brother also had the same genetic condition that my daughter had that caused their cancer. He was mostly not awake by this time he was placed on hospice. It only lasted a few days before he passed. He was on a morphine pump from extreme pain. The nurse they sent could not figure out how to make the morphine pump work. My nephew got on the phone with the doctor and he figured it out. The next nurse came a few hours later and said she couldn’t stay because of their cat as she was allergic to cats. We figured the agency should have been aware of clients pets before they sent out nurses.
My dad’s hospice agency was also wonderful and my mom was provided 24/7 hospice help which I was informed is extremely rare. This lasted for about a week. My father was renal failure and a extremely uncooperative patient. He was 80. I thank god my mom had that much support from the hospice agency. She had been caring for my bedridden father for years and doing all his dialysis herself at home. She really needed the help .
Sorry to be long winded in this response but the short answer is
1) the condition, age and level of cooperation of the patient
2) the age and health of the current caregiver
I think help at this stage is extremely helpful and if your not happy with the hospice agency inform the social worker who set it up it needs to be changed,
Hospice also provided grief counseling for us for up until one year. I have nothing but good things to say about them.
What tried to spoil it was the man on duty in the ICU at the time, acting with such exuberance that the Pallative Doc told him to leave, and her default PCP Doc being kind of cold and off putting.
After my Husband broke his hip, went through rehab and was back home I stopped at the Hospice that I passed pretty often.
I talked to someone, they apparently contacted his doctor and while I was there they approved him for hospice service.
Within that week I got a call from the CNA to schedule her visit.
I got a call from the Nurse to let me know when she would be coming.
I began getting supplies (that I previously had to pay for)
I got equipment that made it easier for me to take care of him.
And that equipment changed as his needs changed.
He was on Hospice for almost 3 years. not a typo...3 years.....
Hospice with the help, education and support that I got made it possible for me to SAFELY keep him at home.
Was put on hospice. The particular one she used was NOT good. One time she called them while having a panic attack and unable to breathe. She had to leave a message. The nurse called her back and told her she was too far away to come and check on her. Advised her to go to the ER.
Twice a week, an ANGEL of an aide comes and gives my mother a shower.
A nurse, also an angel, visits and assesses my mother medically.
A chaplain and a social worker visit her as well.
The doctor that works with them is very responsive and proactive.
Hospice was wonderful and helped me more than they helped Mom--and they were great for Mom. They even had a counselor and he made a world of difference for me, especially since I had two narcissistic sisters making my life hell. They were gems.
Frankly, get your loved on hospice as soon as eligible. They do only good for the patient AND for their loved ones.
So sorry for your loss. 🌷 We know that 2018 was not very long ago when it was your Mom!
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/lets-share-positive-hospice-experiences-473421.htm?orderby=oldest
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/positive-experiences-with-hospice-184356.htm?orderby=oldest
I knew I drove the boat as the POA.. I also knew they were the professionals who know their job..
A Godsend..
🌹