I gave up all POA duties. Took my name off moms bank account hoping that would end all the chaos.
went to her birthday with my 6 kids and within 10 minutes of being there my adult siblings started yelling about finance and medical care. With mom sitting there before the birthday cake was even cut. They were all sitting around the table and soon stood up even yelling at my kids saying they don’t know the truth. My poor mom was shaken.
we were in shock. We were all there the day before and everything was fine- my husband immediately said let’s go. He walked out with 2 of my kids. I went to say goodbye to my mom and said you don’t deserve this on your birthday and I was taking my family back to the hotel. My other 4 were standing next to me waiting to say goodbye. The adults in tbe room were yelling at them. 2 of them came out crying and saying they are making grandma upset. The other 2 were scared.
this is how my mom is living at the end of her life. My long drive home knowing can’t see my mom again was the worst.
I don’t know if there’s any way for her to get a ride even to a restaurant at some point so we can see her. We can’t go to the house bc my brother and his girlfriend and daughter moved in. They are taking over .
please suggest something. My kids start school soon and are distraught over this. Was supposed to be a family reunion for her 90 birthday. She will probably remember this bc of the yelling even tho she has dementia.
Just my opinion, and I’m so sorry your family is dysfunctional.
today mom left me a message saying she misses me and we didn’t have enough time together.
does she not remember something so bad
Her birthday should have been celebrated with her family. Instead they chose to disgrace you and your children in front of your mom. How sad.
I am so sorry that this happened. I can’t imagine why your siblings would behave so poorly.
I would wonder how they are treating your mom when you aren’t around.
You have a right to see your mother. Your brother and his girlfriend are not the final say on that because they happen to be sponging off of your mom in her house.
You can get a court order to have visitation of your mother. I know someone who did this.
They started with the state's social services department and they put them in touch with the right agency to make it happen.
Call whatever is your state's social services and start there. Or have a free consultation with a lawyer. They may be able to get that done for you even faster and better.
You have a right to see your mother. In the meantime if you have any extended family it would be a good idea to start talking to them about what's going on with your mom. Good luck.
You cannot change other people. You do not say that you did any wrong doing, so what could you conceivably say about this shocking occurence. I am so very sorry. For you. And for your Mom. On the face of it this sounds like a family to be avoided. Any distruption at this point can only hurt your Mom I would think, unless you have reason to feel someone is in control of her or abusing her. That may mean a consult with APS and asking for a wellness check. They WILL speak with Mom alone with such a report as yours.
I am so sorry.
Seems you have been going thru this for acwhile. I really don't know what to say other than your family is so dysfunctional. Your poor kids. I hope you used this experience to teach them that this is not how family is. Bringing up Moms care during her birthday party was just so out there. Do you think it was for your benefit? I am glad u chose to walk out. Now maybe call APS and see if there is anything that can be done so you can see Mom. Like they do with children. Family is ordered to take Mom to the police station, you pick her up for a day out, then bring her back to the station.
Our kids were young during these battles, and now none of them want anything to do with that side of the family, because thore battles scared them to death. It's a shame to some extent, because I know my MIL would like to be closer to them, but she and my now-deceased FIL raised these people who don't know how to act like adults, and they always protected the worst ones in the lot from any consequences. This is what MIL now reaps.
Protect your kids first and foremost from this garbage. Youwll have to find ways to see Mom on your own, but not at the expense of your children.