Any suggestions on getting husband to change out of pajamas into clothes?

I do not see any information about the cognitive functionings / dementia - which makes all the difference in how to approach a person. Someone said he is in his 90s although I do not see any specific information about him in this post.

* Does he live at home with you?
* In a facility? / ind living or assisted living
* Is he diagnosed as being clinically depressed
* What are his disabilities / fears
* Does he have hallucinations? / fear of water / falling ?
* Will he listen to you? do what you ask?
* Does he understand you?
* Is he / does he want to be sociable / with people outside of you or immediate family members?
* Hygiene is a major concern - how are you addressing this?
- What are you doing now / how are you keeping him clean?

Being in pajamas isn't 'cute' to me as some express here. It is a sign of something else - how he is functioning mentally / cognitively - and issues that need to be addressed.

It is common, from my understanding that some people with dementia DO NOT want to shower and may be very resistant. If this is the situation, do a bed bath, or are you? I understand you may be addressing your question to others here who have dealt with or currently dealing with this concern/ issue. I have not although I tend to always consider the level of dementia which determines how best to interact / work with a person.

Gena / Touch Matters

I have a similar problem. Mom won’t shower and says I make her feel bad about herself when I suggest it.

If he's at home, I would let him be about the pajamas, but get some nice ones that look sort of street-like and start putting them into rotation. I sew up the open flys if they are that style. Will he accept help to shower, using a shower chair? With my husband, it's a battle of sorts and he gets very angry when I want to change his clothes or help him shower, but he's sweet if an aide helps (such as when in hospital). Will he accept an aide to help shower?

I felt very down when I realized my husband could no longer tell or care about social niceties ("mild" decline), yet as quick as ever to find fault in me and others. I have had to refuse to take him to restaurants if he smelled or was dirty. Others may disagree, but for me, two battles at a time -- inappropriately groomed husband and societal blow-back to his state by servers and other diners -- is more than I can take, and I don't want to put others into uncomfortable positions, either.

I posted earlier but I would like to add to my post.

Pajamas are great!

I remember my parents telling us that we could wear our pajamas to go to the ‘drive in’ movies with them.

We thought it was so cool to be able to wear our pajamas to the movies!

Later on, mom told us that we always fell asleep on the ride home and that daddy would carry us from the car and place us in our beds to sleep.

My daughters had the best time at their preschool for ‘pajama day.’ Even their teachers wore pajamas!

I took our children to the library every weekend. I mentioned how much fun my daughters had on ‘pajama day’ to our children’s librarian. She decided to have a special ‘pajama day’ story hour for the kids. They loved it!

Tell your guests that they are welcome to join your husband in wearing pajamas! Okay, obviously I am being facetious. Seriously, if this is the least of your worries, then you are extremely fortunate. Please allow him to enjoy being in his pajamas.

When my husband reaches the age of your husband, I seriously doubt that I would be concerned about him lounging around in his pajamas. Actually, I don’t think I would be concerned now if he wanted to hang out in his pajamas.

Make sure all his pajamas are pink with purple flowers on them so he will want to get out of them as soon as possible


Or like that bunny rabbit pajamas Ralphies aunt sent him for Christmas. Did you see how fast he scampered to get out of those?

I Buy My Dad Burts Bees 100 % Cotten Pajamas - he Loves them . The top Looks Like a regular shirt . They are soft and comfortable . Life is Good also has some Nice 100 % cotton pajamas called Lounge wear .

Find him
PJs That have a tuxedo print look!!
Then buy him PJ’s that look like SUPERMAN, THOR!!
buy his n her PJ’s
Give him TUESDAY’s PJ DAY!!
And Saturdays, of course..

and if you’re up to it.. have Superhero day!! Pull out your superhero PJ’s..
Tell him he can’t wear them until he takes a shower.

Is your bathroom set up with safety Grab Bars? Shower chair, hand wand shower head?
Get some adult cleansing wipes they’re better than nothing

Trani7: Perhaps there is nothing wrong with him wearing pajamas. The bigger issue is his dislike of showers. Although you do state in your profile that he is 96 and could be a misnomer, even if he indeed is an elder, it takes energy to shower or bathe that some elders do not have. The fear of falling is another reason to unfortunately skip the shower or bath. Perhaps you can consider a male home heath aid.

I’m confused. Is he outside talking to people or inside on the phone? How old is he actually and is he capable of going out? If he is going out, he should dress appropriately. IF he is capable of going out you can tell him how everyone will see how handsome he still is in this or that outfit. If he isn’t going out do you have visitors? Can you use the same technique of saying when so-and-so comes over s/he can see how handsome he still is in a spiffy outfit after shaving. Also be frank and say he has to shower so people won’t think he smells. Most me, no matter their age respond to flattery. If he has no other socialization besides you, you can do what a friend did and sleep in another bed.

I know this sounds almost too simple, but I make trades with my husband all the time. I have bought a bag of mini candy bars, and "After you change clothes you can have your pick of 2!" He usually needs help picking out clothes, but I get the dirty ones in the hamper before he can reuse them. Also, with showers....and don't laugh, I get into the shower when he's about done and wash his back. Then he washes mine. Don't try to tell me you've forgotten how you and he used to shower together!

A local senior/elderly residential housing complex has a dress code that allows only street clothes in the common areas and dining room (no pjs, robes or slippers). It may not be worth the arguments, but given the people in wheelchairs and as old as your husband who dress, your expectation is not unreasonable. If he can’t handle ADL — including dressing and showering — you might need to look at stepping up his care. Good luck.

Transition daywear from sharp creased pants and golf shirts that look and feel stiff to knit leisure clothes, or sweatsuits that are at least wrinkle free. I wish I could recommend yoga wear, but carrying off that "look" depends on the body. He may compromise on comfort.

They sell 'fancy' pajamas that look like a business suit or a tuxedo. Wonder if he would be comfortable in a T-shirt and shorts .

If you think he needs more formal look, buy him matching sweatpants and zip-up jacket to wear over a tee shirt. Or pajamas that don't look so much like pajamas. Let him have his comfort!

BUT - he must stay clean. You can hire people who specialize in giving showers, and they'll come to your home to do it.

You know, my brother LIVED in his, so I got him so really beautiful plaid flannel pants out of a catalog, think it was The Vermont Store but have seen them other places, and some soft t's, and he was kind of the best-looking guy at his ALF. Would that work at all. There are lots of jammy like clothes now, and they say that the younger work-from-home crowd is taking us to a "new casual" in clothing.

Sure wish you luck in finding a look you can both live with.

I'm curious as to where I said my husband is 96? He's not even close to that, and I never mentioned age at all. However some of your answers were helpful so I thank you.

So long as the pjs are clean ….
For going out ….You could buy comfortable lounge pants in a solid black color and t shirts in a different color so they don’t look like pajamas . My friend’s husband wears this all the time as his clothes .

He’s 96!

What difference does it make if he wishes to lounge around in his pajamas?

I would be grateful that he is comfortable.

I am quite sure that no one is bothered by him being in his pajamas. They may even wish that they could wear pajamas all day long too!

Why are you wanting your husband to get out of his comfortable pj's to put on clothes? Are you taking him somewhere important, or are you just tired of seeing him in his pj's? I'm guessing that at 96 years of age you both probably don't go to too many places right? So I would just let him enjoy his final time here on earth in whatever he wants to wear.
My late husband ONLY wore pajama pants or sweatpants for the last 10 plus years of his life and as long he was comfortable and happy, so was I.
Like already said, when dealing with the disease of dementia, we must learn to pick our battles, and honestly this is just not one worth fighting.

My husband has a pair of cotton pull ons he wears as PJ bottoms. Buy some colorful Ts to go with them. Have you seen what people run out to the store in? A friend of mine donated his Dads sweat bottoms to a clothing closet. Thats what he liked to wear. He only had 2 pr of dress slacks.

Your husband is 96 years old and suffering from AD/dementia....if he enjoys sitting in his pajamas all day drinking tea and talking, I'd say leave him be to do so and pick your battles. And EVERYTHING can become a battle when this disease is at play. It sounds like DH is pretty good natured in general which is a blessing!

Elders with AD/dementia hate showers in general, normally bc there is something they're afraid of or bothered by in the shower stall. Falling, the force of the water or the feel of it on their face, being cold, etc. See if you can hone in on what DH is bothered by in the shower and then remedy it for him. Or hire a male aide to shower him once a week and use pre moistened disposable washcloths by Stryker for in between wash ups. Those are the best ones in my opinion.

Best of luck to you navigating this tricky ground.

Loungewear? Looks more like day clothes but feels comfy like pjs.

A friend told me people from her home country start wearing loungewear at 60. I can certainly see the practicalities of elastic waistbands (for ease of toileting quicker) & zippered jackets (for dressing with arthritic shoulders).

I'd avoid the matching beige top & bottoms look myself 😄 but I have seen some older folks in nicer sportswear, track pants/jackets etc. Comfortable & practical. (Trackie dacks as we call them here).

Regarding energy, *energy conservation* becomes important.

Having a seat in the shower can help. Swapping showers with washups at the sink alternate days. Seated dressing can also save energy. Dressing all lower half, then one stand up to pull items up. Even a compromise of one set of clothes for 2 days then a full change? With a 'for company' smart dressing gown/nice cardigan/jacket over the top.

I switched my mom to wearing jogging pants because they were warm, comfortable and could do double duty as day and night wear. If the problem is not ever changing at all them try to help him to change when he is toileted, the bottoms at least are half off then anyway.

Tell your husband that you want to make him smell fresh and look handsome, and to do that, please let you help him to change his pj's. Remember to show him the new outfit. Also, ask him what he thinks.

Tell your husband that you want to make him smell fresh and look handsome, and to do that, please let him change his clothes. Remember to show him the new outfit. Also, ask him what he thinks?