Any tips, tools, or products to help lift a 94-year-old, 130 lb. grandparent who has fallen?

I manage a small, concierge-level home healthcare agency in Boca Raton, FL and I come across this all the time. It's no surprise that he wants to be independent. Men are stubborn! It's also no surprise that your mom wants to help him. Women are heroes! (Women are clearly the mentally stronger, smarter, and more rational sex!) <<<< I'm a guy!

With my parents, there were one of two scenarios: Either my dad would fall down and then my stepmom would fall down trying to get him up and they would have to "push the button" so 911 could get them both up, or dad would push the button and Barbara would put out milk and cookies for the paramedics when they came. (They were on a first-name basis with "the boys"!) We nicknamed mom and dad "Wobble and Hobble".

Here are some things you can do to keep Grandpa happy, mom safe, and the paramedics away (but they do like their milk and cookies!):
1) Forbid your mom from ever trying to lift him - never, ever, ever!
2) Get BOTH of them "Help I've fallen and I can't get up buttons". I always recommend that they use the wristwatch type not the pendant because they can sleep and shower with them. The two most important times to have the button are at night and in the shower so it makes smart sense!
3) If Grandpa isn't using one, get him a walker. For $20 extra, get the tray that fits on top of it and a little basket for the front of it. Once he figures out that he can use it to move things more easily, he will use it more often.
4) Take a look at what's on his feet and on the floor. My dad hated to wear shoes and socks are slippery. We got him the "grippy socks" and his life got better. Are there tipping hazards on the floor? Sometimes rugs help, and sometimes they hurt. Take a look.
5) Grab bars? Professionally installed, not the suction ones can be put in hallways, and anywhere else they will make a difference.
6) Get you, mom and gramps, on Youtube and search for videos on how to get up after a fall. There are a lot of easy techniques (I like the two-chair technique) and tips to help dad get up on his own. Obviously, this is only an option if he's strong enough, but if he's walking he may be able to use one or two of those techniques.
7) Exercise and physical therapy. The stronger he is, the less likely he'll fall.
8) NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER get mad or angry when he falls down. He didn't do it on purpose! Empathize with him - laugh it off with him and don't make him wrong, don't beg him to do "X, Y, or Z". Maybe it's a bit of reverse psychology, but having him feel bad, embarrassed, or wrong are just going to lead to more resistance.
9) Whoever said we have to treat our old folks like children is a liar and a fool. Treat them with more love, respect, kindness, and gratitude than they deserve because they deserve even more!
10) Write number 9 down on paper and put it on the fridge or the bathroom mirror so you don't forget!

I hope that helps! ~BRAD

(P.S. That thing in the link... no, no, no, no, no!)

I agree, call 911, and after too many times they will see he needs to be in a care facility. This will ruin your mother.

Call 911 , they will get him up and ask if you want him taken to the hospital .. At least they do that in Florida.

When my husband tried to get out of bed when we were in hospice they told me to call a non emergency number for the fire dept. They came out in just a few minutes and a team of paramedics got him back in bed. If your dad is falling a lot you better discuss with his doctor what should be done. Not safe for him or your mom to be alone in this condition. If she tries to get him up she could hurt herself and him in the process and then they’d really be in a predicament.

I would discourage the use of any kind of lift without the recommendation and training from a PT. While that addresses the falls, it is not addressing the reason he is getting up in the first place. My 93 yo father had a stroke a few months ago and both at the rehab and once back home, he was getting out of bed several times at night as that had been his routine for at least the last 10 years due to an enlarged prostate. He did fall a few times but PT taught him how to get himself up from the floor, he is strong from PT & OT, plus my brothers also helped. What finally brought this to an end was putting on a high absorbency pull-up style diaper with an additional high absorbency pad that not only keeps my dad dry, but he is sleeping 10-12 hours through the night without waking up….has help his recovery so much to get a full night’s sleep.

Do not lift the man yourself..call 911 ..& in a case of fall risk patients, a lift machine is necessary for transferring…
Impossible to lift a fallen man
🤗 hugs

130 lbs of dead weight from the floor is quite hard. If your mom injures her back doing this, grandpa is going to end up in a NH. Even the belts (gait belts) would be hard to lift him with off the ground. They work well if you're walking with someone who is about to fall and you can use the belt to lower them slowly to ground. You can check out 'blow up cushions to lift someone off the floor' for a variety of styles and prices. Those would work if g'pa can turn to the side so mom can get it underneath him. They also make bath lift chairs that would probably work if he would be able to slide over on to it.

She needs to remind him about the fall, how she cannot afford to hurt herself trying to get him up and then tell him potty chair at night...period....no trips to the bathroom. If he insists on taking risks of falling, she'll be calling EMT next time to get him off the floor. You can tell him, if they have to come too many times, they'll get others involved and he'll end up having to live elsewhere. If he continues to take chances, he's going to have the fall that breaks something and very likely your mom will not be able to handle his care on her own anymore. So have the conversation with him - work with us and stay home longer or forever...or be ornery and reckless, take a fall, and be miserable stuck in a bed in a facility.

I would also suggest, ask the doctor to order in-home physical (legs/lower body) and occupational (upper body) therapy. It would probably help him to get a therapy routine started to help with leg strength. Medicare will cover it. I would ask for PT to start first and then switch over to OT to keep some kind of exercise going for longer period of time. If you do both at same time - they both end at same time....maybe a month or two. Then you're off for a period of time. Tell the dr about his fall and weak legs and ask for home health exercise.

The best advice I can give you (from my firefighter husband). DO NOT attempt to pick up a person who has fallen.

Call 911 (no matter time of day) and tell them someone has fallen and you need public assist to pick them up. He always stated it is not safe to pick up a fallen person and it is likely to injure both parties.

He stated they went to the same home multiple times in the same day. They are happy to assist and it is their job,

Be safe.

Unless your Mother WANTS to break her back, avoid any gait belts to pull a person up.

How reasonable is Grandfather's judgement he is fatigued & can't walk?

Would he use a bell?

If he can walk to the bathroom independently quite safely, would he use a bell to call for help for way back? Either for walking or a commode ride back?

There are probably many reasons he has against using the commode. Ask & find out. Then tweak the routine where you can to improve safety.
Eg he may wish to preserve his independence of going to the bathroom IN the bathroom. He may not want to bother family or have trouble holding on waiting for help. They would be MY reasons.. see what his are.

Or maybe a chair halfway would give him a short resting stop?

Many men find a urinal bottle a handy thing for #1.

Prevention is always better if possible 😃. If not, follow all the advice for lift assist & CountryMouses's advice to a T.

noblerare: Your mother should not attempt to lift her father under any circumstances as she will injure herself and/or her father. He is a frail elder at 130 pounds. Emergency Medical Services should be called for a LIFT ASSIST and also they will check for broken bones since your grandfather fell.

Prior to buying any equipment, ask for a physical therapy consult, not just for the patient, but for family education. PTs are great at analyzing body mechanics and recommending safe alternatives. A PT gave me a step-wise approach to assist my mom off the floor when she was much more independent (and heavier).

Try this transfer sling. I sometimes fall and now I call 911, but this makes getting me up off the floor so much easier. https://smile.amazon.com/Obbomed-Transfer-Disabled-bariatric-Handicap/dp/B0827DCBL1/ref=sxin_25_ac_d_rm?ac_md=2-2-dHJhbnNmZXIgc2xpbmcgZ2FpdCBiZWx0-ac_d_rm_rm_rm&content-id=amzn1.sym.568df61d-e115-4cb1-a96a-ba070b8f0935%3Aamzn1.sym.568df61d-e115-4cb1-a96a-ba070b8f0935&crid=11ITOYU5C9Z7R&cv_ct_cx=transfer+sling&keywords=transfer+sling&pd_rd_i=B0827DCBL1&pd_rd_r=014110e9-a6cf-4413-9eef-db516d59a633&pd_rd_w=zlv5J&pd_rd_wg=gjtXc&pf_rd_p=568df61d-e115-4cb1-a96a-ba070b8f0935&pf_rd_r=6P46GZRQ4FMHTRSTFSPG&psc=1&qid=1658524875&sprefix=transfer+slin%2Caps%2C172&sr=1-3-7d9bfb42-6e38-4445-b604-42cab39e191b

Hello,
There is equipment called "Hoya Lift". It helps transfer from bed to chair and vice versa. Contact her health insurance company and Medicare. Get her physician to write a statement and indicate that she is "fall risk". Social Services can assist with this information call them for direction. I had one for my mother it was a blessing. Make sure you get training. The seniors will not be able to handle the equipment though. Good luck.

Make is doctor aware of this and he should order a hospital bed with the rails and he will be unable to get out. You can then lower it when needed. You can also ask for a hospice evaluation. Hospice is not just there for end of life but if he qualified they also order his meds, free diapers, wipes etc. as well as any medical equipment needed.

My 95 year old dad with advanced Parkinsons started to fall a lot. Sometimes, they called neighbors to help....sometimes they called the fire dept. (my mom was 88 years old).
They were very sneaky and didn't tell us (son and daughter ) what was going on.
When we found out, we were horrified. It's not right to rely on these people.
If he's falling, he needs more care that YOU need to organize or he needs to move to assisted living.
My dad went from falling to not being able to walk AT ALL. That required a 12 hours nurse in the house, which was very expensive but the only option since he refused to move out of his belove home.
Once he passed, mom moved into a beautiful assisted living and doesn't miss those days of taking care of dad at all. She swims in the pool, joined the chorus, plays Bingo, and is constantly thanking us for selling their house and moving her. (the only way she could afford this place was by selling her home....that's how we got her to move)
My advice is to think outside the box.....don't default to what you've done before....It was LOTS of work for my brother and I but we are proud of what we achieved for mom (and Dad, who loved his nurse).
I live 5 hrs away by car and my brother is 1 hour away, so it wasn't easy but we owe it to our parents to care for them.
Best of luck!

In an emergency situation, like that, she can call 911 and ask for help: our firefighters/EMTS are angels!

If she needs help, she can hire in-home assistance; if he needs constant help, then placement should be sought. There is the help on the right side of this site or they can call, "A Place For Mom."

There are Hoyer Lifts if your mother will need to be doing this lifting regularly. There is a bit of a learning curve involved, so take that into consideration. In emergencies your local Fire Dept or 911 service may come to the home to do a "Lift Assist."

In skilled nursing facilities they use lifts. If your mother and grandfather want him to be cared for at home, it might be necessary to install a lift. A 63-year-old woman should not be trying to lift anyone by herself. My 90-year old mother, who weighed 90 lbs lived in a memory care unit, and sometimes it took 2 people to transfer her from the bed to the wheel chair, when she lost use of her legs and couldn't stand. Your mother (and grandfather) need to connect with a local social worker who can tell them what their care options are. Your grandfather might be eligible for some in-home care. At the very least, your mother may be eligible for programs that pay family caregivers. Your mother needs help, either with in-home aides or if this is too much for her, to consider moving your grandfather to a facility where he can get professional help who know how to deal with declining capabilities and have the equipment to do it. This is a difficult conversation to have, but your mother and your grandfather have to acknowledge what they are actually capable of doing.

He needs a wheelchair to get to the bathroom, a bidet attachment to the toilet to clean his bottom, and a gait belt (similar to a judo belt) to help mom with transferring dad to and from bed/wheelchair commode... and some training by physical therapy to increase dad's ';strength and train mom how to do transfers safely.

Please “Google” a device called “Hoyer Lift”. They are used to safely transfer/lift a loved one. Prices range from expensive ( one to two thousand) to a couple of hundred dollars. Check out Amazon, as well as your local (or an online) durable medical equipment company.

We were able to get an occupational therapist to come over and show us how to best help someone who has fallen without injuring yourself. Probably depending on the disability of the patient (my husband is in mid-stage Parkinsons) it helps. It did for us. Of course there are many factors like strength of the caregiver, weight of the patient, that might make the training useful. Ask your doctor for recommendations on finding one. We found a non-profit that provides that service.

We had to call fire and rescue. After several times, they turned us over to Adult Services (which we had been trying to get but anything social services is not easy). Social Services came out and once they came we were able to get anything we needed. We got beds, wheelchair, etc...
It's akin to having to have a wreck at a stop sign to get a light put in. You could get hurt and so could your loved one. Call them and explain the circumstances. They don't know you're there and have a problem unless you contact them. They are happy to help.

Call 911

People keep advising that lift assists are free but that isn't always the case, people on this forum have been hit with substantial fees. It's always best to call your non emergency numbers to ask about it before you need it.

When trying to help on your own Countrymouse's advice is very good, there are several videos available showing this technique if you search for "getting up off the floor after falls". My mom wasn't able to help at all so I used the step up method, lifting her from the floor to a low stool, then a higher stool and finally a chair - but I wouldn't recommend trying it if you aren't very, very fit.

Why disturb so many people for something so common, get your LIFTER

To try to pick up someone that has fallen you risk hurting them and or yourself.
The safest way is to call 911 or the non emergency number and ask for a "LIFT ASSIST"
In most areas without transport to the hospital there will be no charge.
The paramedics are trained to properly lift someone AND there are usually 2 people that will assist.
You, or another will be asked to sign a waiver declining transport to the hospital. But if there is a noticeable injury they may strongly encourage transport. (during the time I was caring for my Husband he fell 8 times, each time I called and there was never a charge. 7 of those times he was on Hospice so I would have declined transport anyway, if there had been an injury I would have called Hospice although I did notify them the following day)
There is another advantage to calling.
They will be aware that there is a vulnerable person in the house that may need more assistance in an emergency.

My dad did the same 18 months ago. I flat out said I was unable to lift him and this was why I asked him to call me before going in the bathroom alone. I called 911. 7 people showed up. He was off the floor and back in the wheelchair asap. He was amazed how easy it was for them, he was a bit embarrassed but he never did that walk again without help. The fireman that arrived said 90% of the calls were helping seniors get up. It is a free service. I said we would send a donation. They asked for it to be cookies. So my granddaughter (9 at the time) made 4 doz cookies and we delivered them Christmas Eve.

Call 911 or your local fire/ambulance station. My mom fell several times and they'd send out a few people who could safely lift her and check for any injuries. Don't be afraid to call them. This was in two locations, a really small town and even in a bigger city, none of them mind. They would tell her and my dad to call at anytime and don't try to do it themselves.

Like others have said, your mom shouldn't be trying to lift him. She could get injured then they'd both be in even worse shape.

The best and safest solution is to call fire and rescue. Ask for a lift and there is no charge. A quick assessment is done to rule out injury.

Many time this was done when my dad and mom fell. No transfer is done to the hospital unless needed.

Where I live I can call 911 and ask for lift assist. The fire dept. will arrive in ambulance and help get my husband up off the floor. There is no charge. They ask if he wants to go to hospital but if not, they just get him to a chair.