Not sure where I heard it recently but it seems to be a term that fits me at this point. I have been caring for too many for a while and seem to be on overload. I am snippy toward my dad and pretty much everyone, don't really care to deal with anyone right now, I do need a vacation (again). Going away with my wife (business/pleasure) overnight and looking forward to hitting the off button for 48 hours. How does anyone else deal with this when it is 24/7 and not snap? Not that I am going to snap so don't call the social media police. It is just overwhelming at times and my problems are about as tiny as they get compared to what many other people have to deal with. How do others deal with all of this?
I think you have to put yourself on the daily schedule. We plan for mom or dads meds and dr appointments and diet etc but we act at times like our needs aren't just as important as our LOs. We also get going and forget the other people in our lives have a need for a spouse, a parent, a grandparent, a friend. We ignore them to take care of our LO, thinking the others can fend for themselves right now and later we learn the hard way that they were in need of a spouse, parent, grandparent, friend and we were busy with the elder who has somehow become so very needy,,,real or imagined. So it is indeed a balancing act and oh yes , throw in there a job!
Anyway. I'm glad you have yourself on your schedule. Enjoy your time away with your wife.
Personally. I meditate and walk and use text a lot to stay connected.
Not your concern. I would advise you not to insert yourself into their family dynamics. And not everyone thinks that having an elder parent living with them is the solution...
It's good that you are recognizing the effects that its having and getting some respite time. I think that is so important. That's what dragged me down. I had NO ONE else to help me at all. You really need a network of support, imo. Do you have that?
Can you get regular respite time? I might suggest that 48 hours might not be enough time though to recharge your batteries.
You ask how others deal with it. From what I see and from what I read online, a lot of caregivers suffer. They live in misery, exhausted, and frustrated, because they have overextended themselves. Around the clock care for a person who is immobile and/or incontinent or who has dementia is really a huge job. I think that some people underestimate what is reasonable and think they are super heroes. They really do give up their own lives. And then, after sacrificing everything to be the caretaker, they start to feel guilty. That seems to be very prominent, so, I'd watch out for that.
Let us know how your trip goes. I hope you and your wife can really enjoy that time.
Daughter and SIL are getting ready to buy a house, finger crossed. Found one, not my liking but I dont have a dog in the fight. Will be nice for them to be on their own. I was hoping she would buy something nicer but he is driving this deal (getting it from a friend who is just like him). So she will be in a crappy house until she wises up. Oh well, not much of my problem except I will e the one to do the repairs. But again they will be out! A little less stress soon!
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