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My father suffered a major brain bleed two weeks ago. He had surgery, but when he finally woke up he remembers me, but now appears to be off in his own little world. His personality is greatly altered, and it’s as if my father has been replaced by a stranger overnight. Doctors aren’t saying anything, except that his road to rehabilitation and recovery is going to be extensive. Right now, he’s not even meeting the barest cognitive milestones. In doing extensive reading (as well as knowing my father), it appears to be like vascular dementia. I’m looking for anyone’s personal experiences, stories, about care and recovery of a loved one suffering from vascular dementia brought on by a stroke. What am I in for? Thanks, everyone!!!

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My mom had a massive stroke in early 2019. Though her scans have not changed she will always be at risk of vascular dementia and the cognitive issues that go along with a stroke and VD.

Two weeks is still very early to assess what his gains will be. I am here to tell you to have Hope. My mom took a whole lot longer than most and a good 6 months to a year of speech Ot and PT to recover what she has now. It was a lot of work and still is.
Her biggest battle after honestly isn’t the stroke - it’s UTI infections that hurt her recovery.

Give your dad time - we focused all or any energy my mom had on her therapies and sleep/rest in between both are the best kind of healing.

It is a long road - for awhile in the beginning my mom could only have one person even talking at a time - she just needed a very quieter environment when she was first healing - even TV was too much for her. I would read - place calming music or just sit with her in quiet.
His therapist will assess and guide you on thing to do with him to keep the pace of what they are doing with him. The smallest of tasks - like brushing ones teeth or doing the smallest therapy or even retrieving info is hard work for their brains in the beginning. It’s a slow and yet steady pace of therapy - hard work and healing.

He may never be who he was before but he can regain a lot - it just takes time. They may add antidepressants to help along the way (my mom couldn’t take them in the beginning as it was too much but has since started a small dose). Any brain going through such a trauma is going to take time to heal. Just keep having hope - keep being his advocate and keep researching ways to help heal the brain - there are so many things to keep moving forward with - best wishes for your family and your dads recovery.
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Lizbitty Sep 2021
Thank you so much for replying. I suppose I’m just so discouraged because he is so altered. Undisturbed by his restraints, happily just staring off at a curtain. There is no boredom for him. He says that he’s confused and doesn’t know what’s going on, but can’t follow a single word I say. Just happily babbles nonsense at me until he loses interest. It breaks my heart. I feel as though I’m mourning a great loss while he’s sitting right beside me. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
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Hi Lizbitty, You may also want to participate over at the Alz forum as well--it's not just for AD caregivers. You will get great advice here, but I found that sometimes it just helps to share and to hear from as many caregivers as you can when this is so new.

https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=topics&f=151
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Lizbitty Sep 2021
Thanks for the link, Elizabeth! Will definitely check it out!
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Liz, I experienced the same situation with my grandmother. She was fine on Friday and Monday she was an entirely different person.

She knew who we were for a while, then her memory started regressing beyond our existence.

What do the brain scans show?

Is there a lot of black areas?

Make the doctors talk with you. Ask them what is the prognosis based on the brain scan? Is it possible for his brain to mend or are areas actually dead because of the bleed and stroke? Based on the areas effected, can his brain do any rewiring?

Do not let them fluff you off with vague answers about difficult rehab and such.

Be his advocate and make them give you answers.

Great big warm hug! I know how very hard this journey is and I recommend that you prepare for the worse and expect the best.
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Lizbitty Sep 2021
Thanks so much for your reply. I don’t know about the scans. In the two weeks, I only spoke to the surgeons twice, and I did see scans early on, but I’m afraid I was in such a daze, I wasn’t thinking of asking the questions I’m thinking of now. They’ve just sent him to a new, smaller hospital, so hopefully I’ll get some answers tomorrow. Thanks again.
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First I have to say that what your father may be experiencing is the after effect from the anesthesia from his surgery. That can often in the elderly cause dementia type symptoms, and does not always get better. It can be scary, but his doctor should have told you about that, and if he/she hasn't, make sure you inquire about that.
Now second, my husband had vascular dementia,(diagnosed in 2018) after having a massive stroke in 1996. It is the most aggressive of all the dementias, with a life expectancy of only 5 years. It usually starts with more physical symptoms(like incontinence, unsteady gait)than cognitive decline, although that does come later.
And because my husbands brain was no longer telling his throat to close when he was eating or drinking, his food ended up in his lungs and he almost died from aspiration pneumonia. He did survive it, but came home completely bedridden, where he remained under hospice care for the last 22 months of his life. He died a year ago next week.
I hope for your sake that it is just residual from the anesthesia, but if it's something more, just make sure you enjoy whatever time you may have left with him. Wishing you both the best.
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Lizbitty Sep 2021
Thanks for you taking the time to respond. How long did the after effect of the anesthesia last? He has been awake for about a week now and couldn’t follow the basest of instructions. It’s like he can’t even hear them.
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