When the hospice aide came the other day to bathe her, she went to move her over and mom cried out. We looked and her hip is angled funny, and nurse confirmed yesterday it looks dislocated! She has been bedridden for 4 months. The only movement she has done is when I move her side to side to change her diaper or put bed pan under her. I feel SO bad, like they think I abused her! There are no bruises, and all other vitals, etc are very good. Thoughts?
I would seek a Hospice center she could be placed and if that is not possible, then a nursing home.
I feel EXACTLY the same way you do about nursing homes. They know more than I do about health matters. They are far from perfect, but my mother is getting far better care there than she would from me here at home.
Horselady, ask if there is a Hospice facility that your mom could be transferred to. You need to make your own decisions about how much caregiving you can do.
So, all in all, I had 3 full days of extraordinary panic and worry, had to revoke hospice for a weekend, which entails RESTARTING the whole intake process again, 2 very painful ambulance rides to and from ER, 6 hours in ER, with Dr looking at me like, why did you bring her here (until I explained what prompted it all), and when we finally got her back home, she immediately vomited green fluid. It's usually yellow; this was bright green.
I called the hospice emergency line just to ask why it might be green, and do you think I could get a straight answer? No. Nurse couldn't tell me. So I just thanked her and hung up, gave mom her antinausea pill, and got her settled back in.
What a friggin night! I was so stressed out, as soon as I left her room, I fell apart. Just collapsed in a chair and cried my eyes out. I have no clue what I am doing. I'm not trained for this! I don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next. I'm having panic attacks, forgetting stuff....this is nuts.
I am kind of angry, too, that I have been put into this position. I love my mom. She is a doll. We love each other, and she has always depended on me. But this situation is way beyond my skill level. When my grandparents (both sides) became this ill, my parents had no qualms about putting THEIR parents in a facility. And why? BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEM! Then, naturally, they passed away in there, so of course, now Dad is adamant that that NEVER happen to either of them! Instead, lets have our youngest daughter, whose boyfriend died 3 years ago, who had major back surgery 8 months later, who still has back pain, who works full time, take care of us. And when she gets home from work, her recently operated on foot swollen from standing all day, we can have her fix dinner, change oil in the car, mow the lawn, fix any electronic thing that is on the fritz, make phone calls about whatever trivial, bullshit bill we get, since we are too old and feeble to figure out the phone systems when we call....Yep, that sounds like a dandy plan, doesn't it?!
Except the youngest daughter is very close to a psychotic break...or worse.
Sorry to rant. Feel better now. Thanks to all here...thoughts of you got me through the night.
admitted as inpatients. Since your Mom is bedridden, if it was a fracture they may not opt for surgical repair. Good luck and I hope you get it all sorted out.