Help with siblings having differing opinions on how to deal with stopping elderly parent from driving and doing finances. My mom has reached the point where she must be stopped from driving and taking care of her finances. We have three siblings involved, two live remote and one lives near. The one living near is oldest and has been staying with mom at nights for a couple years because mom is very afraid of dark. She stays from 6pm to 6am unless one of the other two are in town. When she comes in at 6pm she will prepare dinner , ask mom if she has taken her medicine and go into her room until she leaves for work the next day. She does take mom places on many of her days off. When either of other two are in town they spend the majority of time during day with mom. We all are close to agreement that mom needs to stop driving and she isn't capable of doing her finances. I say only close to agreement because the oldest sister agreed but then said well if she was just going a short distance to the same place it would be ok. That's not the issue I need help with. Two siblings agree that we need to take action and get things taken care of. One sibling wants to take it slowly and one step at a time, i.e. use her car while major repair being done and taking safe deposit box key. Geez I realize as I am typing this how ridiculous that sounds and that I need explain anymore. What is the best approach for taking driving privileges and financial decisions from a parent that wont admit its time? Second question is for advice on how to get through the differences between siblings without destroying family?
Once my parents stopped driving, I volunteered to be their wheels. I had no clue that my parents wanted to get out of their house 2 to 3 times per day, yes, per day. That was difficult for me because I was still working full-time. Before I knew it, I used up all my vacation days and all my sick days.
One option is for Mom to hire a caregiver for a few hours a day, who is able to drive the client with approval from the Agency. If Mom hires someone not with an Agency, then Mom would need to add a workman's comp rider to her homeowner's insurance.
As for the finances, I had asked my Dad if he wouldn't mind if I helped him write out the checks and mail the bills. Dad was more than happy to let me take over all the finances. So I had all the financials transferred to my home address, so I wouldn't miss anything. My gosh, it turned into a part-time job getting everything filed and in order. So, which ever sibling is good with this type of work, let them take over with Mom's approval.