Long time lurker who needs to vent. Disabled late 70's mom could not manage her home especially with dad who was a disaster with dementia. He's FINALLY in a home. She moved out of state to a smaller home to save money and refused to get rid of ANYTHING. Took me 6 months to pack her house (I am NOT exaggerating) Now she is almost 3 hours away instead of 10 minutes. She moved to the middle of nowhere. Complains incessantly that no one will help her get her house set up or clean (almost a year later and the house is still full of packed boxes. AND she keeps buying more stuff) So drive up and work until I literally can't move. Cleaning, moving furniture, throwing junk away. I bring tools and do projects. She spends entire visit berating me, telling I am pushy and calling me a bitch. She says "Just sit and visit!" Tells me I stress her out when I visit (remember I get calls DAILY complaining that no one helps) I am up to my elbows in stuff. There are bugs flying around. There is stuff everywhere. The kitchen is filthy. Garbage is overflowing. Fridge full of old food. Previous person who lived there left his stuff in the house too! (And she started USING his stuff too instead of removing it.). I cleaned off one of his tables so she could get it to goodwill and out of the house. She said she wanted to keep it. There is so much furniture you can't even walk in the room. I said "I thought we were donating this." She said "Well I like it." I start getting mad because the walls are closing in. Keeping this furniture is ABSURD. She begins b******g me out telling me I am pushy. "How do other people react when you talk to them like this?!" (Imitates me talking with my hands) Tells me how mean I am and she is going to record me to prove it. Calls me a bitch under her breath repeatedly. Yells at me "THIS IS MY HOUSE." Yesterday she said "SHUT UP!" when I simply mentioned the contents of a box on the porch. Meanwhile I am hauling garbage, scrubbing toilets and sinks, washing dishes, setting up furniture and trying to hang a couple of pictures. She spends entire visit picking fights with me. She makes comments that the HOA is going to be mad at the cardboard outside from where I broke down boxes. I have to run her all over town where she insists on leisurely dining out. Then I have to pick up her medicines 30 minutes away (that she let run out) and make phone calls. I pay most of her bills including dad's nursing home. I manage her calendar with her doctors. I order her groceries (and she lets the food I order spoil). I pay for her pets' medical care. She is an ungrateful witch and treats me like garbage. My sibling lives there also but they barely help because all she does is yell at them and tell them they are a terrible person (they aren't terrible but they are lazy. They also have mental health concerns). Sibling has checked out.
I get ready to drive home and she starts telling me how she wants to come back with me to my house! I don't WANT her here. She is mean and abusive and ungrateful. I only go every few months because I am done with her and it's the same visit every time. When she dies I am going to inherit her giant house full of crap. I can't take it anymore.