Can a couple enter a caregiving facility and live together when one requires memory care and the other does not?

Yes absolutely..they could even be in same building but different floors! I remember when my mother was in SNF, for long term rehab, there was a couple..always together, both in wheelchairs & they died almost together g too ..one died, then shortly after…the other. But you never saw one without the other! Good luck & hugs 🤗

Jack13315: An answer to your question would be to determine the stage of the dementia patient's disease. It may be difficult for the independent person to know where to fit in if their spouse requires Memory Care.

I know of couples who live together in caregiving facilities in the same room when they need the same level of care. If one person needs memory care, it would be onerous for the one who doesn't need memory care to stay with him or her - locked in 24/7, very limited activities, usually no or very limited trips into outdoors (since many in memory care are a flight risk)... It would be better for the one who doesn't need memory care to visit daily. If the partner (of the one who needs memory care) needs skilled nursing care or assisted living, then look for a place that has "phased care" - assisted living, skilled nursing, and memory care on the same campus. Then, the couple can spend days together and each get the appropriate level of caregiving.

I tried to find a place like that and one which attracted me as a great place wouldn't allow me to live in the same apartment as my wife who has dementia. Since that time I'm caring for her by myself at home plus I'm still working in two businesses at the office and remotely. I hired two independent caregivers who help me four and a half days days during the week. The rest of the time I take care of her, getting out of bed, toileting, showering, dressing, laundry etc. I'm 82 and she's 76.

I set up a checklist for caregivers to cover all the things I expect them to do daily including taking my wife for walks twice daily. Fortunately she is physically healthy.

My parents were together in AL when dad had cancer and mom Alzheimer's. When it became apparent mom needed MC she was moved to the MC floor and my dad could visit her daily. That was in FL.
My in-laws also lived together in AL when my FIL was independent and my MIL had dementia. With worsening dementia she moved to the MC floor and my FIL stayed in AL (still independent but there were no independent units in the facility). They were also able to visit daily. That was in CO.

My experience: yes, they can live together in AL, but I wouldn't recommend it. My mom has moderate dementia (no short term memory whatsoever) and my dad is a type 1 diabetic who is confined to a wheelchair and requires help with all of his ADLs. They have been married for over 50 years and my mom was his primary caregiver for at least 10 years. We moved them into a shared apartment in AL last year. Long story short, after 6 months, it became very apparent that their needs were very different and for their own physical (and mental) well-being they needed to be separated. My mom is now in MC in her own space and my dad has his own space in the AL building. They can see each other whenever they want and sometimes eat meals together.My mom is thriving in MC and it was what she needed. My dad is a whole other story, but he hasn't been happy with anything we have tried to do for him. He is safe and his needs are met.

My mother was in Memory Care for about a month before she passed. In her pod there was a married couple--living in one of the rooms (they all shared a living area outside the rooms). The wife needed to be in memory care, the husband did not. He lived there with her.

unfortunately there may not be any in your area but you can look for a facility with an inner-connected memory care unit.

we are fortunate since there are several variations nearby … assisted living/memory care … assisted living/skilled.

make sure theyre connected inside and you can visit anytime in any weather.

there are some facilities just across a small street from each other but you still have to walk outside in rain or snow so obviously inner-connected is what you want.

My mother has Alzheimer’s and step dad is in palliative care due to advanced cancer etc.. and they both share a room in a nursing home. And, It actually works quite well!

She’s very comforted having him with her and he feels like he can give her - as best as he can - loving attention. She has adequate freedom to move about meeting friends along the way while SD stays in the room reading etc. but, they’re safe and well attended to.

Of course, the supportive care and attention they receive daily from the staff is wonderful and that makes all the difference in comfort and continuity of care. They are attentive, knowledgeable and so supportive to them and me. So, while, there are always challenges, separating them would not be helpful for either of them at this point. It can work with the right balance of good relationship(s) and professional support. It may not last as her condition does deteriorate - as will his - but for now, they are comfortable, safe and happy.

Yes, I know couples who have lived in an AL together with one needing care and the other not. Also, one being in a MC unit and the other in an AL and being able to visit.

This exact question was recently asked here on the forum:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/senior-living-options-accommodate-couples-with-different-needs-475366.htm?orderby=recent&page=1�

It depends on the facility. My mom needed memory care, her husband was very with it and assisted living was what he needed.

There was consideration given to.having them together, but it would have been too exhausting for him. Assisted living, sharing an apartment would have been just too much responsibility for him. Or he living with mom in memory care would have been very hard for him. Lack of stimulation and interesting conversation for him wouldn't work either.I

Tye levels of care they needed was just very different.

Maybe they could live together in assisted living, if the non-memory impaired person is doing some of the caregiving. The staff in assisted living can only do so much but can provide helpful services like handling meds, meals, cleaning, toileting, etc.