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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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It depends on the facility. My mom needed memory care, her husband was very with it and assisted living was what he needed.
There was consideration given to.having them together, but it would have been too exhausting for him. Assisted living, sharing an apartment would have been just too much responsibility for him. Or he living with mom in memory care would have been very hard for him. Lack of stimulation and interesting conversation for him wouldn't work either.I
Tye levels of care they needed was just very different.
I tried to find a place like that and one which attracted me as a great place wouldn't allow me to live in the same apartment as my wife who has dementia. Since that time I'm caring for her by myself at home plus I'm still working in two businesses at the office and remotely. I hired two independent caregivers who help me four and a half days days during the week. The rest of the time I take care of her, getting out of bed, toileting, showering, dressing, laundry etc. I'm 82 and she's 76.
I set up a checklist for caregivers to cover all the things I expect them to do daily including taking my wife for walks twice daily. Fortunately she is physically healthy.
I understand what you are saying. I have been care giving for my wife, age 80, for nearly two years after she pleaded to let her come home. She has vascular dementia after three strokes and the dementia is getting worse almost daily. I now have a young lady coming in two days a week to relieve me for a few hours I need to take care of other chores. I am open to any suggestions anyone might have regarding how to better organize the day to provide better care. Even after two years needs seem yo change almost daily. Any and all ideas will be appreciated.
I know of couples who live together in caregiving facilities in the same room when they need the same level of care. If one person needs memory care, it would be onerous for the one who doesn't need memory care to stay with him or her - locked in 24/7, very limited activities, usually no or very limited trips into outdoors (since many in memory care are a flight risk)... It would be better for the one who doesn't need memory care to visit daily. If the partner (of the one who needs memory care) needs skilled nursing care or assisted living, then look for a place that has "phased care" - assisted living, skilled nursing, and memory care on the same campus. Then, the couple can spend days together and each get the appropriate level of caregiving.
My experience: yes, they can live together in AL, but I wouldn't recommend it. My mom has moderate dementia (no short term memory whatsoever) and my dad is a type 1 diabetic who is confined to a wheelchair and requires help with all of his ADLs. They have been married for over 50 years and my mom was his primary caregiver for at least 10 years. We moved them into a shared apartment in AL last year. Long story short, after 6 months, it became very apparent that their needs were very different and for their own physical (and mental) well-being they needed to be separated. My mom is now in MC in her own space and my dad has his own space in the AL building. They can see each other whenever they want and sometimes eat meals together.My mom is thriving in MC and it was what she needed. My dad is a whole other story, but he hasn't been happy with anything we have tried to do for him. He is safe and his needs are met.
Maybe they could live together in assisted living, if the non-memory impaired person is doing some of the caregiving. The staff in assisted living can only do so much but can provide helpful services like handling meds, meals, cleaning, toileting, etc.
My mother has Alzheimer’s and step dad is in palliative care due to advanced cancer etc.. and they both share a room in a nursing home. And, It actually works quite well!
She’s very comforted having him with her and he feels like he can give her - as best as he can - loving attention. She has adequate freedom to move about meeting friends along the way while SD stays in the room reading etc. but, they’re safe and well attended to.
Of course, the supportive care and attention they receive daily from the staff is wonderful and that makes all the difference in comfort and continuity of care. They are attentive, knowledgeable and so supportive to them and me. So, while, there are always challenges, separating them would not be helpful for either of them at this point. It can work with the right balance of good relationship(s) and professional support. It may not last as her condition does deteriorate - as will his - but for now, they are comfortable, safe and happy.
My mother was in Memory Care for about a month before she passed. In her pod there was a married couple--living in one of the rooms (they all shared a living area outside the rooms). The wife needed to be in memory care, the husband did not. He lived there with her.
My parents were together in AL when dad had cancer and mom Alzheimer's. When it became apparent mom needed MC she was moved to the MC floor and my dad could visit her daily. That was in FL. My in-laws also lived together in AL when my FIL was independent and my MIL had dementia. With worsening dementia she moved to the MC floor and my FIL stayed in AL (still independent but there were no independent units in the facility). They were also able to visit daily. That was in CO.
Jack13315: An answer to your question would be to determine the stage of the dementia patient's disease. It may be difficult for the independent person to know where to fit in if their spouse requires Memory Care.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There was consideration given to.having them together, but it would have been too exhausting for him. Assisted living, sharing an apartment would have been just too much responsibility for him. Or he living with mom in memory care would have been very hard for him. Lack of stimulation and interesting conversation for him wouldn't work either.I
Tye levels of care they needed was just very different.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/senior-living-options-accommodate-couples-with-different-needs-475366.htm?orderby=recent&page=1�
I set up a checklist for caregivers to cover all the things I expect them to do daily including taking my wife for walks twice daily. Fortunately she is physically healthy.
I am open to any suggestions anyone might have regarding how to better organize the day to provide better care. Even after two years needs seem yo change almost daily. Any and all ideas will be appreciated.
She’s very comforted having him with her and he feels like he can give her - as best as he can - loving attention. She has adequate freedom to move about meeting friends along the way while SD stays in the room reading etc. but, they’re safe and well attended to.
Of course, the supportive care and attention they receive daily from the staff is wonderful and that makes all the difference in comfort and continuity of care. They are attentive, knowledgeable and so supportive to them and me. So, while, there are always challenges, separating them would not be helpful for either of them at this point. It can work with the right balance of good relationship(s) and professional support. It may not last as her condition does deteriorate - as will his - but for now, they are comfortable, safe and happy.
My in-laws also lived together in AL when my FIL was independent and my MIL had dementia. With worsening dementia she moved to the MC floor and my FIL stayed in AL (still independent but there were no independent units in the facility). They were also able to visit daily. That was in CO.
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