When mom passed I told the owner of the care home I would empty mom’s room by end of month. I private paid month to month. I also told them if they needed the room sooner to contact me and I was willing to work with them. They said they wouldn’t need the room for a while and I was glad because I wasn’t ready to pack up mom’s things yet, you know? Two days later they called me and said they showed mom’s room and that a gentleman wanted to move into the room in a few days. I told the owner I was out of town but my return flight home was the day before they needed the room and that I would get the room emptied for them. I enlisted some family help and emptied the room as the care home requested. A few days later I contacted the owner and asked her when I would receive a refund for vacating the room 15 days early for her. Her response was that they don’t do refunds or prorate and that it says so in the contract. However, I did not initiate this early vacate. They asked for the room back. And they put a new paid resident in mom’s room the next day. I feel like this owner has taken advantage of me during a vulnerable time. I would have gladly kept the room until end of month when I was better prepared emotionally to pack up mom’s things. I feel like I just had my grieving time stolen as well as my remaining $2,100 of rent. I offered to work with her and all she did was capitalize on my grief. Is this even legal? Should I go to small claims court?
There was no agreement about a refund.
The contract will likely stand. Rental is paid by the month. If there were levels of care costs those should be refunded as no one was being cared for.
You offered to vacate it early.
They first said no, and then took you up on it.
You had no agreement verbal or otherwise that said you should be getting a refund if you did this. But you just did it of your own volition.
Sorry, I think that the contract will hold in court. You are welcome to spend a couple hundred to find out and to be a fly in their ointment, but I think that this is a way to avoid moving on into grief. Grief counselors tell us that we will often choose to be "mad" at someone rather than move into the hard and final work of grief. Sometimes that's a doctor, a hospital, a care team, hospice, a nursing home. Anyone will do.
You have my condolences. But there was a contract that spelled things out in black and white. They fulfilled their contract. You did them a favor. And that's about it. The favor was not returned. If going to court makes you feel better, do give it a try. They may refund this rather small amount to avoid having to show in court, so tell them that's your intention first. Good luck. Again, my condolences on your sad loss and I hope you have happy memories.
I spoke to the county Ombudsman and they were shocked by what this care home was attempting to get away with. The advised me to proceed straight to court because what they did was very unjust.
This isn’t about the money. I am trying to make a point with these people. I don’t even need the money. What I need and want is for these places to stop stealing from these vulnerable seniors! Many don’t have much. Someone has to stand up! We can all hang out and chat here, but none of these issues are going to stop happening until we stand up for our rights.
Legal is one thing. Immoral and unethical is another. Write and tell the owner and board if there is one you're going to take them to court as well as publish a terrible review about them sharing what they have done. Put it exactly as you did here. Whether you actually intend to follow through they don't know, maybe it will be enough to get them to cut you a check. And it will bring it to all of leadership attention. You were kind enough to work with them. They have double dipped.
I'm in that process myself. I took care of my husband for over 7 years. At the end of last Dec, I had to place him in an Adult family home because I was having hip replacement surgery in March and I could barely take care of myself. He had many health issues that kept progressing. Dialysis, for all seven yrs, diabetic, pacemaker, oxygen and finally ended up in a wheelchair.
I was extremely lucky to find this home that would take Medicaid. One of her tenants moved out 2 days before I contacted her. He moved Jan of this year.
It was meant to be. Right place, right time. He liked the home. Whew!!
He passed on friday, Aug 30th.
I was asked if I could gather his belongings within a few days. They would get them ready for us to pick up. My daughter and son in law picked his things up Monday. That would release the room for her to make the room available for Sept. At first I thought it was a little cold hearted, but then remembered how I was so lucky to get that room in the first place. Time to pass that luck on.
The reason I didn't pick his things up myself was that I fell and broke my right arm/ shoulder on Tues the 27th.! I'll find out tomorrow, the 9th, if I need surgery. Thank goodness we had all end of life plans planned out. One phone call and it is all done. Now all I have to deal with is SS and other business things.
One question, how soon does SS want their money back? His Sept. check already came in. Do I have till the end of the month to return it?
I want to THANK all the posters that use this forum. I have been reading this site for probably 2 years. Learning how to say when, when you know it's time to pass your loved ones care to someone else. How not to feel guilty for taking care of yourself. How things work in all types of care centers. I think we supplied t-shirts for a few of the residents.:) I have recommended this site to friends. I live in a 55
+ community. Thanks again for all the information that I learned from this site.
Now it is time for me to wipe away my tears and mentally prepare myself for tomorrow. I have 2 wonderful daughters and many close friends near me. I am truly blessed. Jan
Instead of trying to take this to court where nothing can be done about it ,
perhaps write to your state congressman to perhaps pass a bill in state legislation that when someone dies in a private care home that the prorated amount be returned to the estate . The argument could be made that the deceased person did not voluntarily give up the apartment .
There are a lot of things that aren’t fair . When someone dies after they’ve already gotten their SS direct deposited it has to be given back . Same if the deposit happened after someone dies . You have to be alive the whole month to keep that months payment . It’s not prorated .
When i was moving I asked the landlord if I would get a refund for the 2 week difference in the rent if I gave them the keys early. They said no so I did not give them the keys until the end of the month.
Most times in the lease it will state that they do not prorate or refund money when you are moving out. They are happy to prorate a move in though. Check your copy of moms agrrement and terms with the facility to save yourself the time and effort if trying to sue if you have no legal standing.
At least someone who reads this will learn from your mistake and not have the same thing happen to them.
I know my mom would be proud that I fought. And when I win, I am going to donate to our local senior center. They need some new things over there :)
When my mom passed, Social Security had deposited her check for the month. Because she was not eligible for this last check, they reached out to her credit union to send the money back. Mind you, she had been a member for many years, but it's still a business, so they block her checking account until this money was paid back.
Because the money was in her savings and not checking, (unknown to us), any bills paid from her account (which was now an Estate Account), bounced, with them eventually closing her Estate Account. When contacted, they had neglected to remove the block from her account, even though the money was paid back. End result, damage had been done and we were out of luck.
It's a lesson learned that when it all comes down to it, be it a credit union, bank, NH, AL, etc, they're all business first and foremost.
Take time to complete your griefwork at home with your mom's things with you.
The bottom line:
1) ALWAYS READ THE CONTRACT and
2) GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING.
This woman would be well served emotionally to focus on grieving verses getting a refund, what she appears to not be entitled to.
Gena / Touch Matters
I’m sorry for your loss .
Like already said legal is one thing , immoral and unethical another .
When my father in law died we were not expecting a prorated refund . They calculated it from the day we moved out his things . He paid month to month . Nothing in the contract talked about when a resident died . But they sent a prorated refund anyway .
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