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Mom is early 80's and overweight - neuropathy in both legs and feet. Spends most time in recliner or wheel chair or bed. The bags of throw away underpants and chucks that have to be disposed of reek. She has been to the doctor and takes a "go less" pill but is there any surgery that can help with urine incontinence? I am not sure if this means that bowel incontinence is in her future ? She is otherwise healthy - just does not want to do much of anything except recline and watch tv.

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My husband who was severely incontinent tried all the bladder spasm medications, and his urologist tried putting Botox into his bladder as well as that is supposed to help calm the bladder, but in my husbands case it did not.
So his urologist recommended having a supra pubic catheter put in(which is a permanent catheter)which we opted for, and it was a Godsend for me. as I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day, and didn't have to worry about him being wet or anything else being wet either.
They are not for everyone, as a nurse has to change the catheter every 4-6 weeks, but in our case(my husband was under hospice care)it was very helpful.
Perhaps you can have her urologist try the Botox first. Good luck.
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Is this a urologist? A regular MD won't do?
Is this "go less pill" an over the counter one? They are for the most part nonsense.
Or is this a prescription medication (in which case know the side effects because there can be urine retention.
The weight is a problem and especially if there is any prolapsing of internal organs with age. This is another reason you need a professional specialized in this care.
There are two things that "make us go", two releases, one is more or less under our control (think how bad you have to go when you need to go and near home and the bathroom) and one is not.
There are some treatments that work for some people. One amounts to estrogen cream in the general vulvula area that is applied externally and may "plump up" this tissues that hold urine in through a strong and healthy urethra (which is lost after menopause when all our tissues go to hades).
Speak with a good urologist. That's your best chance. Kegel exercises help some but you need a strong discipline to stick to them, and to be frank I haven't ever seen them be a cure.
Good luck.
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a) No there isn't. Unless you're thinking of catheters; but there are risks involved and I'd have thought her doctor wouldn't be keen.
b) Good grief. It's sad enough that she'd rather meddle medically with her urinary tract than engage in routines to help her regain normal toileting abilities, but surgery?
c) If she continues on this downward spiral then yes, probably, at some point she is likely to start losing the ability to control bowel function too.

Does the neuropathy extend to preventing her feeling urgency, do you know? There are many causes of urinary incontinence, some improvable on and others not. What does she herself think about the situation? Has she given up, does it bother her, would she like to try to improve it? You can ask her about this without making her feel bad, and it would be worth at least having the conversation.

By the way - if the odour is very strong, offensive, or changes from normal it is important to keep testing and reporting. She's diabetic, is she? That can make a difference, too.
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willnotorcannot Jan 2022
Hi, Thank you for asking. She is not diabetic - and blood work always comes back good - good numbers. She can sit for 30 minutes and not go on the toilet but gets up from sitting / reclining and does not have control. I guess I was hoping some kind of minor surgery might help - her get some control back. She is otherwise very healthy. ( overweight but cannot lose weight as she is much too afraid to walk for fear of falling). The neuropathy is mostly in feet and legs - I did not even know that neuropathy could have an effect on urgency feelings.
Thank you for responding
Thanks again
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Yes there are surgical solutions but she has to be a medical candidate for any of it to be covered by insurance.

There are slings and tens units. My cousin (in her late 50s) had a tens unit surgery and honestly so far it sounds like a pain in the neck because the internal unit needs to be charged and it wasn't working properly, among other issues. And the mesh/sling surgeries carry risks and also not 100% guaranteed to work. My friend had to have her sling removed. These are all women under the age of 50. I personally think your mom is too elderly and obese for this procedure. The anesthesia alone may cause significant post-op cognitive problems for her (some permanent).

Try to get her to do Kegel exercises.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/in-depth/urinary-incontinence-surgery/art-20046858
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My mom had a procedure when she was in her 80s. It helped. She never became incontinent although she did wear depends in her last couple of years to prevent rushing to the bathroom. So it helped her for years. She saw a urologist. Your mom could also see a urogynecologist. They will evaluate for pelvic floor remedies and exercises. These exercises don’t require her to stand.
Of course your moms situation could be quiet different. Find her the best doctor you can who is qualified to tell you whether there is help available.

Edit: I just wanted to tell you that the hormone cream also was prescribed to my mom and that it did help. She also was prescribed a drug that is normally for men’s prostrate issues. She took so little of it the doctor said he wasn’t sure it was therapeutic but she believed in it. Go see a specialist.
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