Hi My name is Issie,
This year My grandpa had a heart attack and a week later he had a stroke. He survived both and after a stint in rehab I brought him home and have been his sole caretaker ever since. I coordinate doctors visits, nurse visits, speech and occupational therapy. I also pay his bills and am in process of automatic most of them so that is easier for him and me.
Recently he was diagnosed with mild dementia which isn't bad at all. To talk to him you wouldn't think he had it. He was diagnosed by his geriatric doctor.
Now when he had the heart attack he was gone for 15 minutes and suprisingly and blessedly came back to me and his great grandchildren. You see my grandfather raised me since I was two years old and was married to my grandma for thirty years before she passed. He also cared for my mom and her siblings which are not his biological children.
Now that being said he lives in a small apartment with our fur babies and up until he got sick was fairly independent. I check in on him twice a month phyiscally and called ever other day.
Being the beautifully stubborn teddy bear that he is he tried to not make me worry by telling me that his health was failing. Luckily I had placed my emergency contact info on the refrigerator.
Now Since my grandfather had this attack which now has been two months , I have been handling his affairs as co owner on his bank account. We did have a bumpy ride intially but I hung in their. I told him that until his doctors cleared him he couldn't drive and I would continue to pay all his bills and give him an accounting of everything I did on his behalf.
Since that has happened he had called the bank and spoke to one of the bank managers. He was trying to make it where he gave me an allowance. The bank decided to take me off his bank account and told me that he did it. When I got home I was so upset, because I didnt have any extra personal money to pay for his medicine that he needed.
That conversation led to a lot of crying- and us finally listening to each other. He said taking me off the account was not what he thought he was doing. He then called the bank manager and told her to add me back she actually argued with my grandfather and tried to get him to go along with having him fill out deposit slip and having me physcally travelling back and forth to get money on an account I am already on.
Its to a point where he actually raised his voice and told her no put her back on . She told him he and I had to sign a new signature card. We both agreed and I did.
Now mind you we have banked with this bank for six generations. So they know of us. Now since that has happend I've been warned that transactions on his account look suspicious that he is spending more. OF cours he is he has more bills and he is getting caught up on old ones. and the account he has is what is called a Holiday account so it doesn't allow for him to pay online. Something they did not advise him on at all. By the way let me back track. My grandfather is 76 years old still mobile but he just needs some help around the house which I provide because I refuse to stuff him some dirty dank nursing home and leave him without love or support.
So in August I got medical POA. After this banker approached me about my grandfather's account I physically got sick at how they were implying and saying I wasnt taking care of my grandfather and that our accounts look suspicious. I opened up an account and since I have bank card I deposit fund he tells me to take out and pay his bills. Been doing it for over a month. They then told me they were watching my account and his in the back office. I was so hurt and upset I physically got sick over this weekend due to the stress. My question is can the bank managers override what my grandfather says he wants done and who he wants it done by? At this point he wants me to close the account and go elsewhere. I now have Durable Power of Attorney as Well as Medical
Grandfather may need a bit more supervision. It’s easy to become confused by the modern world when your a Senior Citizen.
If though theyve talked to him they refuse to abide by what he said and continue to argue with him and give me a hard time besides me having my legal paper work in order. Papa wants to close his account and go somewhere else. I only want to do what is in his best interest.
My uncle gave me written authority (signed letter) to deposit money and pay bills on his behalf. You may find it better to have direct debits for standard bills.
I would make an appointment to see the bank manager together with your grandfather and set out your concerns and ask them to explain. You can then jointly inform them what it is you are doing for your grandfather with his consent. If still unhappy at their attitude then consider another bank.
The bank have a duty to protect your grandfathers money - so try not to take it personally - think of it as a good thing as long as they also respect your grandfathers wishes.
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ETA: I read earlier posts and see that you're using a credit union. That might explain their attitude.