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I'm the official caregiver and am planning on moving out of state within 4 months. Want to take her as well. So she would move in with us now and make her move with us when we go out of state. Need to advise. Thanks
There are medications that can help your mother's paranoia, which is, unfortunately, a "normal" phase of many dementias. She needs to see her doctor (or a different doctor) to see if medications can help her.
Any transition will be hard on her, thus hard on you. The fewer changes the better. I'd get medical help for her now to help with the transition.
I agree but have one problem. She won't take the medication. Her Doctor prescribed Aricept and she refuses to take the drug. She tells me there is nothing wrong with her memory. Gail
Sigh! Not uncommon, unfortuantely. She's fine - everyone else has the problem, right? Is there anything else she takes meds for? Like blood pressure? Maybe you can switch drugs or something if the pill resemble each other. Then you can remind her to take her "blood pressure" medication twice.
Yes, I know. Trickery doesn't feel right. But when you know it's doctor's orders and she won't cooperate because of dementia, sometimes you have to stoop to this kind of thing.
You could check with the pharmacist and see if the tablet can be ground up (some can't as they are time released). If you can, maybe you can get it into some food.
If she lived with me I could trick her. But only drive out there once a week, unless I'm taking her to various Doctors. My niece goes out there once a week as well on diff. days and takes her grocery shopping. She also drives and my brother wants her license taken away, but HE won't do, wants me to take care of the problem. She has mentioned even if the Doctor told her to stop driving, she won't. She drives to the drugstore, bank and grocery story which are in her neighborhood. So far there hasn't been any accidents and I hate for her to lose her independence. This is such a mess, because we don't feel she's ready for Ass't Living. Still cooks and is healthy. Yes she takes blood pressure medicine. Now she wants to have a colonoscopy, no problems, but think she should have one.
Assited living is good for healthy people, if it's a good center. Many people love it. She'd have opportunities to make friends, etc.
But you will have problems with her, regardless, as she isn't going to want to do anything she should. You do have your hands full. If it gets too bad, you'll have to have social services look into it. Hopefully, you can find some doctor she will listen to, but she sounds very stubborn.
Let's see if I can rememmber all the ideas that floated through my head.
1. Re colonoscopy. Why at 90 plus? I just had my last one at age 81. Next was due in 5 years, and what if they found a polop? Takes 5 or 10 years to grow. Will I be alive then? Checked with the doctor. He kind of started. I could see him check my age, do the math and agree with me.
2. Driving. please, Call the State police or licensing agency. They will call her in. Some places there are agencies who will do the evaluation. Have you watched the HBO tapes on Alzheimer's? Find them on line either through HBO or Alzheimer's sites. Do you want to feel responsible for her killinng or seriously injuring another person?
3. Aricept. Sound have been started years ago. Find out at her stage, what exactly is it expected to accomplish. Then yes, if you judge it's needed. It's a very tiny pill, easy to call whatever and get her to take it. Watch for side effects. Diarrhea is one that got me. A lactose free diet, with acidopholous in the morning and yogurt with evening meds has eliminated the problem. I also had insomnia, but another med I was given for something else took care of that. There are some natural remedies at the health food store. Check with her doctor first.
4. Assisted Living. There are some wonderful ones and they do allow her to take a roomful of her things. The socialization, physical and mental stimulation that should be available are very important components of a good regime. Will it provide a Meditterean diet? Another important component.
Since any move will be traumatic at her stage, you might want to find a facility where you are moving. Any other sibs beside your brother or close relatives involved? Can you conference, with or without a mediating soical worker, and come to some decisions.
5. Combativenss. yes, meds can help. Have you read The 36 Hour Day? It has so many helpful hints on that subject.
6. Unless your mom has been declared incompetent, I don't think you can force her to do anyything. Has she given her Medical or Legal Power of Attorney to any one? I did that when I was first diagnosed. It hasn't been needed, but it's in place for when ever it's needed.
Good luck. You dod not face an easy task. Try the Alzheimer's Assoc. Boards for help and support.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Any transition will be hard on her, thus hard on you. The fewer changes the better. I'd get medical help for her now to help with the transition.
Carol
Yes, I know. Trickery doesn't feel right. But when you know it's doctor's orders and she won't cooperate because of dementia, sometimes you have to stoop to this kind of thing.
You could check with the pharmacist and see if the tablet can be ground up (some can't as they are time released). If you can, maybe you can get it into some food.
Anyone else have ideas?
Carol
But you will have problems with her, regardless, as she isn't going to want to do anything she should. You do have your hands full. If it gets too bad, you'll have to have social services look into it. Hopefully, you can find some doctor she will listen to, but she sounds very stubborn.
Carol
1. Re colonoscopy. Why at 90 plus? I just had my last one at age 81. Next was due in 5 years, and what if they found a polop? Takes 5 or 10 years to grow. Will I be alive then? Checked with the doctor. He kind of started. I could see him check my age, do the math and agree with me.
2. Driving. please, Call the State police or licensing agency. They will call her in. Some places there are agencies who will do the evaluation. Have you watched the HBO tapes on Alzheimer's? Find them on line either through HBO or Alzheimer's sites.
Do you want to feel responsible for her killinng or seriously injuring another person?
3. Aricept. Sound have been started years ago. Find out at her stage, what exactly is it expected to accomplish. Then yes, if you judge it's needed. It's a very tiny pill, easy to call whatever and get her to take it. Watch for side effects. Diarrhea is one that got me. A lactose free diet, with acidopholous in the morning and yogurt with evening meds has eliminated the problem. I also had insomnia, but another med I was given for something else took care of that. There are some natural remedies at the health food store. Check with her doctor first.
4. Assisted Living. There are some wonderful ones and they do allow her to take a roomful of her things. The socialization, physical and mental stimulation that should be available are very important components of a good regime. Will it provide a Meditterean diet? Another important component.
Since any move will be traumatic at her stage, you might want to find a facility where you are moving. Any other sibs beside your brother or close relatives involved? Can you conference, with or without a mediating soical worker, and come to some decisions.
5. Combativenss. yes, meds can help. Have you read The 36 Hour Day? It has so many helpful hints on that subject.
6. Unless your mom has been declared incompetent, I don't think you can force her to do anyything. Has she given her Medical or Legal Power of Attorney to any one? I did that when I was first diagnosed. It hasn't been needed, but it's in place for when ever it's needed.
Good luck. You dod not face an easy task. Try the Alzheimer's Assoc. Boards for help and support.