Is there any way I can have my sister who is POA of my mother, investigated for taking me off checking and savings accounts after she became sole POA. She has moved the cking and svings accts in her name and my mom's name and took me off. My mom is 88 years old and doesn't remember what she does with anything; she does not want to get involved and told me to take care of things to put everything in her will (trust) back the way it was before her atty's retired a year and half ago which was 50/50 between my sister and me. I can't and won't get my mom involved because it would be detrimental to her and I am not willing to sacrifice my mom. I live 300 mile away so it makes it difficult for me to keep tabs on my sister. I feel she is being dishonest with the money and that is what my question is: Is there anyway, without getting my mom involved that I can have my sister audited or see what she is up to?
There are legal repercussions to mishandling an elders funds when you are POA.
You may consider speaking to an elder lawyer or going to a book store and buying a book on this subject. In any event, you might speak to your sister and request that she at least send you copies of the monthly statements.
It is a difficult situation whether you are the POA or the sibling without the POA unless everyone is honest and open. Even then there will be disagreements as to how the money is spent. In my case, I receive no family assistance and there were disagreements about spending money on respite care. It is never an easy situation.
If your Mom is of sound mind, she can make any changes she chooses. Does she know that your sister took you off? Is there a compelling reason she took you off? I am afraid that you will have to get your Mom involved if you really want to insure that sis is doing the right thing. If you do not get her involved, then you will have to live with the consequences.
I have had so much of this going on within my orbit. I wish that all family would understand that, while your parents are still alive, it is THEIR money and assets. Your sis should not be helping herself to Mom's income unless it is directly for her care.
Good luck...these things are so draining!
I officially became DPOA in 2007 and found out someone (prolly a fired agency caregiver) was stealing from Mom's bank account! I've now been doing all her accounting and bill paying since 2007 on a full-time basis. I've been her full-time personal caregiver since 2008, moving into her home ('08) as she needs 24/7 care.
I'm the last of 6 siblings and the only one that stepped up. My sibs were very much in denial of Mom's growing disability and financial suicide, so I stepped in. I'll never regret it and to be honest nearly 3 years later, all my sibs are grateful to me for stepping in. (lol! they are grateful that someone stepped in... as long as it wasn't them! but that's ok. I get their trepidation. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my 43 years, even those 80 - 100 hour work weeks I did in my twenties).
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