Father (86) is in an expensive AL and has dementia, mostly alcohol induced.. The AL said he needs a sitter or must leave. Sitters are $25/hr. So sitter and AL is over $300K/year. I have tried other places, but they do not want him if he falls. He was warned he would become wheelchair bound if he would not exercise or do his PT. Hospice (care, not EOL) has told me homes are rated lower if they have a record of falls, that is probably why they will not take him now. At this rate my mother will have no money left for her life and eventual care in less than 2 years.
Does anyone have any ideas? I am at a loss, and mother (84) is a wreck. I hate to do it since he will feel bad, but I am going to speak to him today and let him know how he is ruining his wife's life with his insistence on getting up. Maybe if he has no falls for a month or two we will have a chance of placing him, but this is probably grasping at straws, especially if he does not comprehend totally.
2. Restrict your search to Nursing Homes and Dementia Care places. Dad is no longer a suitable candidate for Assisted Living.
My mother's dementia keeps her from remembering she can't stand up, so she is a fall risk. Her nursing home has put a number of practices in place to help prevent that. No one has asked for "baby sitting" or talked about discharging her. You will find a place that will take Dad. Keep looking.
You father needs a nursing home and meds to keep him comfortable and safe? Safety of other residents is a major concern in assisted luving?
Jeanne - thanks. We are concentrating on those two search options. There is a real shortage of beds, but we will keep trying. You are the second person to mention the lawyer, I will set that up this week. I did not know about that one.
We are starting to wonder what they will do if we just stop the sitters.
Yes, contacting the lawyer is a good idea. We have his assets in a small trust for his grandchildren, but the only concern now is that there will be enough left for my mother.
We really just need to place him somewhere where he can be cared for without both of them becoming destitute in two years.
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