Granted, she is in pain a lot but I offer to help her but her pride won't allow me to see her naked. I wash her feet, legs, arms and that is all she will allow me to do. Her back hurts her alot so she is very touchy about me washing her back as well. Her private area cannot possibly be getting the cleansing attention it needs with a disposable wash cloth they sell at Walmart.. Don't know what to do.
Place a large warm towel under the patient. remove all clothes, covering with another towel or blanket as you go. Wash the face, the patient may want to do this themselves. take one arm out wash and dry repeat with the other side. Expose the chest ,wash and dry cover up. Do the legs and feet Uncover the lower belly but don't spread the legs. wash and dry as before. if possible offer wash cloth to do genitals themselves under the towel (You will get a chance to scrub later). Roll the patient on to their most comfortable side. Wash and dry the back. now pull one leg up which will expose the genitals from behind and do a good cleaning job. from this vantage point where there is little modesty involved because they don't feel exposed. Apply any ointments creams etc needed and roll patient back onto the back keeping the towels in place. While the patient is on their back put on clean underwear or depends and sit patient up with towel still round shoulders covering breasts. Now put on top clothing and socks and pants or what ever. this may sound cumbersome but it was the way I was taught and anytime I have had occasion to bath a patient using this method I have received rave reviews. They are never naked, never exposed and do not get cold. Once or twice a week should be enough as long as you can top and tail every day. Again do the genital washing from behind with patient holding onto the bathroom sink or as I have mentioned before install a bidet
Maybe your mum needs to be forced a bit or blackmailed if she dosnt wash then you will have to get someone in to help? youd be surprised how they hop to it when the thought of a stranger coming in? its awful my mum was so clean and this is when i noticed something was very wrong shes smells most of the time but I will not bring her out shopping unless she washes.
Also the nurse told me that they can get very bad infections if they are not washing properly as my mum is diabetic this is vital.
Sometimes we have to be a bit more forceful with them for thier own good but I know just how hard this is. If all else fails you need to get a district nurse to visit youd be amazed how they respond to outsiders.
Sometimes I have to really dig to find out what the "real" problem with behavior is and work around it. This time it wasn't that she didn't want to bathe, it's just that she didn't feel clean after a shower until she could spray-rinse all parts. Good luck and hugs.
She was recently hospitalized and came home and we have a home healthcare nurse that stops by twice a week and the woman asked if Mom needed help bathing and Mom yelled out "NOT YET," we whispered to the woman, we can't get her in the bath, she refuses! Mom told her we were a liar that she bathed every day and washed her hair! Ha Ha,her last shower was one week ago and the last time she washed her hair was over a month ago, she will deny it and throw the worst tantrum you can imagine. Tomorrow is our next day to try and haul her into the shower. We have spent $100+ to buy a chair to make her comfortable and she has a hand held shower head and slip resistant mat but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, she will throw another fit and my sister and I will need a tranquilizer by the time its over. The only hope we have is of reminding her that she has a doctor appointment on Monday that she needs to be clean for!
It is so hard to fathom when she was so clean previously that she probably squeaked!
1. She only had a tub. When she moved-in with us, she now also has a shower.
2. I taught her how to sit on the edge of the tub and swing her legs in so that she doesn't have to lift her legs up to step in. It sounds trivial, but we practice this every once in awhile -- she forgets how to do this.
3. We bought a transfer bench where she sits on the bench, swings her legs in, and then just showers while sitting, if she's having a really bad day where she can't stand. Or, she does stand if she's feeling up to that.
4. We are going to install a grab bar so that, if she does have a good day and can stand, that she can stand, but has a way to stabilize herself.
My mom can't reach backwards, partly because of poor arm mobility, partly because it makes her dizzy. We have a shower head that has a hose, where you take the shower head off the hook and can shower your body, but it made her dizzy and she didn't really have the strength to hold it. That's another thing to consider.
My mom also likes her privacy. When she wants help, she throws on her robe or hides behind the shower curtain before she calls me and we organize her shower so that I'm not far away and doing something relatively quiet so that I can hear her call. She has learned to keep her robe closeby for just this reason.
I had been looking for bars/transfer benches on-line and asking in this forum, but I'll tell you that the best thing you can do is to find a really good medical supply store and get them to help you for your own situation. I found one staffed by people that seem to have some medical knowledge and can really explain the equipment and it was the fastest way to address it all.
Now that she's gotten used to all of it, and a few months have gone by, there are times when I'll urge her to take a bath and suggest that "it's kind of time, I think" and she knows I'm gently hinting that she's getting a bit ripe, these days, she'll bathe even without having to have an outside appointment. Is she trained? I'm not sure, but she's much improved!! ;-)
When I bought this house it had a huge jetted tub, and I mean you could have a party in it. I've been in it a few times for a bath but it terrifies me such that I take my cell phone with me in case I can't get out of it again. For now I stand in the monster tub and use a hand held shower. As soon as the weather warms up I'm having the beast removed and replaced with a large shower with a seat, big enough to let me bath the dogs when needed as well. Costly but I plan to live here forever.
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