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She has not had a bath or washed her hair in months. She even had a stay in the hospital and they did nothing about it. She refuses to let anyone bathe her. I have tried everything. She just won't budge.
We tried the no-rinse shampoo cap and mom loved them. Warm it first and let her massage it herself. Same with the body-- use baby wipes, warmed, and encourage her to do it herself. You do the areas she can't reach, like the back and lower legs.
See will not let anyone get near her to bathe her. She says " I don't go anywhere that would cause me to get dirty". She has even stopped washing her hands after toileting. She is very much "with it" and even used to be a nurse in her younger days. Sweet lady but very determined.
And I hope you're documenting your attempts, whether you're a private or agency hired caregiver. You never know when there might be unexpected results from her refusal to bathe.
Here's another good source, one of the articles written by staff. The reasons why a person won't bathe are insightful, and need to be considered in developing a solution. As noted, compromise is also essential.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Warm it first and let her massage it herself. Same with the body-- use baby wipes, warmed, and encourage her to do it herself. You do the areas she can't reach, like the back and lower legs.
Sweet lady but very determined.
Here are some hits for other posts on this and similar issues:
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=MaggieMarshall%2c+bathing, Start with the second post; Maggie Marshall had some great ideas for making bathing a ritually pleasant experience.
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=showers%2c
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=bathing+problems
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=client+won%27t+bathe
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=getting+someone+to+bathe.
Some of these may contain the same post.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-parents-who-wont-shower-or-change-clothes-133877.htm
Good luck.