Need a little support here. In the morning I'm taking my mom to an assisted living facility. She has no idea. I had to trick her because she'd never go willingly. She is 84 with mid stage Alzheimer's, short term memory gone, forgets to eat and sits on her couch all day doing nothing. She's lost 15 pounds recently because she's not eating Sometimes she stares at the floor for hours. This is no life for her. She says she's bored and ready to die.
I've tried so many times to talk her about assisted living but she shuts me out and refused to discuss it. All she has is her house and her cat and I feel so guilty I almost cancelled the whole thing. Please reassure me I'm doing the right thing. The stress over this is overwhelming. I'm an only child and the only one who can make this decision.
After 3 days of trying to reach her, with every excuse as to why they could not connect me, "I find she had been transferred to a skilled nursing for rehab. Confused, I call rehab, again excuses for 2.5 days of why there is no phone in her room. I finally put my foot down and demanded to speak to supervisor, to see why a scraped elbow needed rehab. The supervisor says, it was a assisted living center."
Not sure as to what,when,where or why ...nor does my grandmother still have any idea, as to why she is there, when she was completely fine the week prior.
Now the story unfolds..in a nutshell, when she fell, my sister, brother and great aunt (my grandmas sister) decided it was the perfect time to deem her incapable of caring for herself and transferred her there without her knowledge or consent.
My grandmother has now informed the hospital and myself she wishes to be released to come home with me, or she will go on a hunger strike. Yet everyone is intercepting.
Although she is extremely old sge has no secere ailments or disease. She is quite strong and amazing. Up until last week when she fell, she was completely aware and still walking indepenently everywhere.
Now, they have her on heavy meds and she is very scared and feels graugy, delerious, and confused.
Soo now, the hospital is deaming her incapable of caring for herself, when I believe it is stress,fear, and heavy medication combined with her age that is the problem.
I too now feel the same as her. My heart is broken, I feel helpless. I want fightbto bring her home, but with all facts in place, an I thinking clearly?
Although they went about this inhumainly, is it time for her to be in ALF? What do I do anout her apartment, if no one is legally a guardian? The landlord wants her rent or is keeping all her belongings (all our history).
Any advice, resources,or guidance? I can use all. This is crunch week.
I am sooo sorry.
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