I care for an elderly parent who has dementia. I have a very close relative who is 67 and will be in need of care in the near future. I know she is thinking I will be the one to care for her however I do not want to. This person has caused me pain my entire life for no reason.
A year ago I was turned in to APS for Elder Abuse to her. The entire story was made up and false. There was a witness there who saw what happened and knew I did not do what I was accused of. When I was interviewed I gave them my statement and I gave the phone number of the relative who saw what happened and told them to call her and have her tell them the story.
This was the only way I escaped prosecution, God was with me by having her there that day.
I was told by APS that I could not touch her not lay a finger on her. This being the case I hope she is never in need of help, but I do not feel I can put myself in the position to care for her.
She has alienated everyone in her life.
I am not willing to go to jail for anyone but need input on how to handle this.
I told her to remove me from her will and if she didn't I threatened to give everything away to the Gay Atheists (don't know if there is such a thing but sounded good at the time).
There is no way I would subject myself to caregiving of my mom's intensity again much less care for a woman who is a hypocritical religious zealot and abusive to boot.
These days I will not tolerate any kind of negativity in my life. If it can be eliminated I will eliminate it. I've had it and any kind of threats are a no go and I don't care if it's the disease talking or not. Screw it.
Raven! Listen to the caregivers here! Choose Life! Yours!
lovbob
Remember that you deserve to live your own life.
I wish you luck and support and lots of love to you in your dilemma.....
Peace,
Juju
Maybe plan your future by training for something else so that by the time your crazy relative needs a caregiver, you'll be busy with another vocation. I'll bet if you accidently turned the hose on her while watering the garden, she might just shrivel up and leave her pointy hat on the ground. In the meantime, you get a restraining order against HER.
Anyway, why on earth would you even say yes to caring for her? She has already proven that she has no problem accusing you falsely. There's nothing to stop her from doing it again. Caregiving is already so stressful. You and her would double or triple your stress.
But most important of all - APS already told you not to go near or touch her. I would listen to them. Can you imagine if she fell and got bruised? You already got a record with APS, I'd avoid this relative as much as possible.
If none of the relatives step up, you can call APS on her. Let Them handle her.
Suggestion: assertiveness training, tough love-- learn to say "no, I have plans."
Get your own life, as I suggested in first post to your question. You can still be a Christian. God does not want you to be taken advantage of. He created you to reflect "Him", not a doormat.
Good luck to your jealous sister. Typical golden child.
You are special. Don't forget it;) xo
I'm still LMAO, bobbie321, at your response!! Good for you. My mother claimed to be such a good Christian. How does a Christian wind up disowning her own flesh and blood (me and my kids) after caring for her many years? I did learn something from my mom though and that was not to take crap, dont put up with the negative and stand up to people like her and raven1's sister. I have vowed to never again give care to someone who thinks they can threaten me with elder abuse, go to a lawyer to accuse me of stealing and make my life hell. Won't happen, and I also don't care if its the disease either.
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