My mom has dementia, is living in an assisted living home, so I know she's well taken care of. She misses us when we're gone since she see us about 5 days a week when we're in town.
My daughter just moved out of state and I was going to go visit with her and do site seeing for 2 weeks, but now I'm feeling guilty being away that long for mom.
Here are things that should earn guilt:
Robbing a bank.
Stealing money from Mom's savings
Cheating on your income taxes
Driving drunk
Using racial slurs
Going away for a week. leaving the dog home alone with no one to look in on him.
In the heat of an argument, pushing your sister down a flight of stairs
So, chatykat, have you been doing or planning on doing any of these things or similar things? Have you earned any of this guilt you are feeling?
You probably feel unearned guilt because there is an epidemic of guilt in the caregiving community. Ironically it seems to strike the most caring people the hardest. If you don't go, won't you feel guilt about letting your daughter down? If you cut your trip short and don't get to fully recharge your batteries, won't you please guilt at your lack of enthusiasm for visits to mom when you return?
Is your mom's hearing good enough so that you can visit on the phone?
We all deserve time for OURSELVES. There was even a Probate hearing (while I was out of the country, JAMAICA) and my attorney attended on my behalf. My sister raised a ruckus on a conference call, and the Judge said: " your sister IS allowed to go on vacation, her attorney is here for her." The end......