hi am haven’t been on here for a while so I need some advice and help regarding this matter I have a caregiver for 9 months and she has changed on me by becoming verbally abusing me and I am autistic she makes me cry and been scared to also she threatened to take me to court when I haven’t done anything wrong lately last time she made me so angry and upset anxiety I own up to my actions I threw her phone out of my house I paid for damages and took responsibility however I find out she also has been careless and drops her phone on a daily basis it’s strange to continue to blame me for what she has done along with her own actions so I really need advice on this because it’s sad I also found out she been stealing from me even financially I am so shocked that she stoop this low she used my card I trusted her and also trusted her with everything we were like friends I allowed it and now I filed a complaint aps report and going to get the police involved because of all this so heartbreaking to find out someone i trust let me down so any advice would help please!😢and what actions to take remember my agency is ihss there took the report down and have documented everything I told them everything she did I hardly doubt they remove her from the registry and remove her from the agency ! Which is ridiculous.
You have taken all of the correct steps in notifying police, APS and your agency. They will proceed with investigation. You clearly are quite capable of acting for yourself.
Do try to understand that your own actions of throwing phones, et al, may work against you; authorities tend to ignore people who are themselves violent and/or behaving in a rude manner. They are simply labeled as "unstable" and therefore "unreliable" witnesses. It is important to remain calm and polite.
As you can imagine we cannot judge a situation in which we receive only one side of the accusation and in which we have no way to hear the person's defense. Our job would be to steer you in the right direction, and you have already done everything.
In future do not share credit or debit cards or financial information with a caregiver; that's quite dangerous.
From what I can gather is that you took her phone and caused personal property damage. Did she call the police or is she threatening to call the police? Because you were the one breaking the law, based on what I can make out from your post. You state you haven't done anything wrong lately, what is it that you do wrong or have done wrong? Telling you that she is going to take you to court, obviously has more to the story but, it is not a concerning threat to any employer and would only get her removed from your roster, not cost her her job. Quite frankly, these situations are not easy for anyone and you should just let this go. You BOTH have acted poorly.
Personally, I would encourage you to remember that your aides are NOT your friends. They are paid to provide certain services and if you are very blessed, they will be professional and congenial and you will get your services without drama. However, you do not get to create drama and be abusive to them or damage their personal property.
It is good you owned and paid for your actions. It is the right thing to do.
Utilize the services you get and do not get attached to your new caregiver(s). It will be better for you in the long run.
EDIT: I went back and read some of your posts, I would like to tell you that friendship is a two way street and you apparently think it is not. They should be your friend but you do not extend the same to them. So very sad for all of you, because I would bet money that their story is not very different from yours, they would say you were not the friend you professed to be and did some crap that hurt them. Being disabled DOES NOT give you a free pass to only using people as friends until they do something you don't like, such as using you as an alibi, which friends do for one another ALL the time.
Be the kind of friend you expect.
The above is your first post from May of 2023. Seems you had problems with an aide then too. Your under IHSS which is a Medicaid program, correct? Then Medicaid is who you should talk about when an aide is not a "fit" since Medicaid provides them. I am sorry you have so many problems with aides but maybe the aides are not the problem.
Here's the voice of 25 years experience in this field. Your mental problems and/or deficits do not excuse you being a troublemaker. You don't get a free pass to behave abusively to your agency caregivers (which I would bet my last dollar are free for you and paid for by the state).
You are lucky your caregiver only made you pay damages for the phone you STOLE and threw out the window. I'm you don't work so you wouldn't know how hard or long a homecare worker has to work to get themselves a phone and pay for it.
If you do not possess sense enough to be able to process that a hired caregiver is not a friend or family, then you should not be administering your own disability funds and should have a conservator making your decisions.
Also, this is a forum for caregivers. Call your caseworker and see if they won't send another aide.
You told the agency right? Trying to figure out you post a bit better. It sounds like the agency didn't do anything. Well at least it's on her record.
You could also go to the web sight and leave your opinion of the agency for others to read, but make it good, politicly correct and not just angry rambling. Take you emotions out of it so it sounds more politically correct.
You did what you could and at least if anyone else has to deal with this women they have been told.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's just wrong on every level.
Most likely the agency didn't do anything because clients like the OP are usually troublemakers who complain every chance they get about the help and make it their life's mission to get their caregivers in trouble for nothing. Agency owners know this.
In my practice I find that if no other clients have complaints about a caregiver and there's one that does, that's usually on the client and not the caregiver. Of course I investigate every complaint just to be sure.
We do not work for mental cases or 'special needs' mentally disabled people. I cannot afford to pay my help what they would deserve to deal with these kinds of people. So, I don't provide service to them.
Go to the bank and get a new card.
Write to the (3) three Credit Reporting Agencies and get your credit report.
Then put a freeze on all your credit and debit card accounts.
Maybe change banks.
Get an advocate to assist you with handling your finances.
Don't encourage this person. They should have a conservator administering their funds. This person does not have a physical disability and is well enough mentally to be trusted with their own disability funds. So they don't need a caregiver. They may need someone to drive them to run errands or to a doctor's appointment.
Not physically disabled? You can cook your own meals, clean your own home, and take care of your own hygiene.