Any other caregivers dealing with symptoms of menopause along with caregiving duties?

Ferris-- funny you should mention breathing exercises, my doc was teaching me how to breath differently about a month ago, she said I need to breath lower from the abdomen area rather than up high from my chest ( I use to get panic attacks for several years) and whenever I was anxious I could feel myself inhaling to often and it was from up high in the chest area. I am training myself to breath deep and slow from the abdomen and it is much more relaxing. Thank-you for bringing this up! Also.. I do meet with friends once a week or so for a lunch out. My mum naps for a good 3 hrs every afternoon so this is when I get out of the house and do my thing. I am just trying to prepare myself for the short dark days through winter when everything seems worse. I really enjoy reading, including self help books but I also like fiction. I also like relaxation tapes so I think if I combine the music with meditation it will be helpful. Also, it was reassuring to me when you said that my body is readjusting to the hormone levels and it will taper off, I look forward to that :-) I feel I can hang in there if I know there is an end in sight. Thanks Ferris!

Macada, sorry you are going through this along with caregiving. Doubly stressful.

I don't think I can give you any helpful hints since I went through menopause about 18 years ago when I still worked. I did not use HRT because I was unsure of it. I just sort of went with the flow, so to speak. I used to throw myself over or into the freezer section when a hot flash hit in the grocery store. I'm sure I looked really stupid. At work, I warned people to stay the H__ away from me if they knew what was smart, and they did.

I just want to tell you, you will make it through this. It will, believe it or not, end. Plus, you will probably laugh at a lot of stuff in following years. I used to want a baby (never had one) so badly during menopause, I'd cry on buses and subways when I'd see one. I had to remind myself it was hormones not my head that was talking. I think I wanted a baby because menopause is sort of sign it won't ever happen.

One other good thing besides laughing about some of it afterwards is, after menopause you will be so much more assured of yourself and satisfied with yourself and not care what people think of you. All my friends who have been through "the change" say the same thing. It is interesting the self confidence you gain.

So, hang in there, and know, it will get better. Yes, damn, we all have to go through it. But we are then stronger! Good luck and hugs!

Krusso, that happens to me too, but it's not disappearing. It just sort of reboots everything and takes you back a step, but your "helpful answer" has been added to the number (I've checked on mine many times!).

Macada, you have a lot of responses here and I haven't read through all of them, but to add my two cents: I take a 3 mg melatonin tablet every night when I get ready for bed, then I read for about 15 minutes until I get very sleepy. I also take calcium-magnesium tablets (2 in the am/2 at bedtime). Magnesium is supposed to help with sleep too, I've been told by my sister the doctor. Go to bed around the same time every night and get up around the same time every morning. Avoid alcohol, especially too close to bed time. I used to have a glass of wine in the evenings after dinner while relaxing and watching TV before bed. That is the death knell for any sleep nowadays as I deal with perimenopause. My night sweats were very bad for about 5 months this year, then about a month ago, they stopped! Yay! Not sure it had anything to do with anything I'm doing; I think it is just hormonal. Anyway, those are some ideas for you. I hope you hit on something that works for you. Sleep is SO important and I do ANYTHING to nurture and protect my sleep. It's hard for me to fathom that in my 20s, I could go out until 1 or 2 in the morning, then come home, fall right to sleep and get up for work the next morning! Time is a cruel, cruel mistress. Ha!

Thank-you everybody for your comments. You all had many helpful suggestions. Once the night sweats stop I'm sure my sleep will improve. I don't drink alcohol so that is a bonus. I am going to eliminate chocolate as that is something that I consume too much of as well as other sweets. I will continue with daily exercise and I am going to try meditation. Hopefully if I can relax better, the tears will lessen too! :-)

Yes I deal with both. I got over the counter menopausal pills from Walmart. Seem to help me.

I would like to know too...a few glasses of red wine when I get home helps. May not sound healthy but who cares? I do not want to live as long if I feel like my mom does...I have never been so down...I went to sleep @ 12:00 & Im back up @ 1:00...really! My brothers are not around, the only comfort is my husband. Im sorry that I don't have any answer's...it looks like no one does...God Bless you.

First let me say, thank goodness we can finally talk about this subject. My family is predominantly female and my mother was a healthcare professional for over 40 years, yet this topic was taboo. I was furious that I wasn't warned of the pitfalls of going through menopause. I've had to come up with my own answers on how to deal with this.

First, since I sleep alone, I keep my bedroom as cold as possible by keeping the window open year round and have hung a blanket over the door to keep the heat from the rest of the house out ( I can't close the door since I need to hear Mom if she needs me during the night ). Also I sleep in a cotton T shirt to absorb the sweat with a spare at hand for a quick change w/o getting up. To get to sleep, I take melatonin and alpha-lipoic acid because I suffer from insomnia.

For the other symptoms of menopause, I've stopped eating processed foods
and anything that has hormones in them ( was drinking a half gallon of milk a day and meat every night ). My symptoms have DIMINISHED GREATLY and have lost 5 lbs so far. I have been on this new diet for three months. I was off again on again for three months before that but it's gotten easier as I saw the improvement in my health.

I realize now that I need to take better care of myself so I can better care for my blind, 88 yo Mom with diminishing mental ability ( which is contagious if they're the only one you have to talk to all day, I've had to use the dictionary 5 times to type this and I read a lot and have a degree ).

If you ask me why I didn't just go to the doctor and get HRT, I'd tell you I don't have health insurance since I quit my job to care for Mom 24/7. I promised her that she would never go into a home, after she ran the night shift in a nursing home at the end of her career. We live off her retirement, which is just enough to survive.

I hope this info may help someone out there, good luck to you all! Reading about what others are experiencing and knowing that I'm not alone in this helps to keep me sane. If I could hug you all I'd love to do so. Until then, fight the good fight and KNOW YOU ARE LOVED.

Also.. there are 2 pages on Facebook.
Menopause Matters and Menopause sucks
Lots of good questions and answers on these 2 pages!