Between work, commuting and taking care of mother with Alzheimer's and cancer, I'm in a whirlwind. But on the weekends when I have a little time for myself, I find myself standing and staring at the floor. I can't seem to switch into "me" mode, then the weekend is gone.
I think what might help is next time you are daydreaming about " what if", write it down. Plan a fun day for yourself: "what do I really want to do to enjoy myself"???lunch and a movie, museum and wine tour, take a trip to the zoo on the train, get a massage, manicure, pedicure, then buy a new outfit--whatever floats your boat. Use your Imagination. There is no limit, there are no rules... Plan something then get up early and GO DO IT, GIRLFRIEND!
Whoohoo! you can do it! Have a good time then come back and tell us what you experienced. Give yourself a positive name:) Hugs, Christina xo
I have a friend up the road and we try to get walks in, weather permitting. I love the conversation and the 3 miles of fresh air. Good to connect with a friend and great for the mind to get the exercise. I must say, I have a hard time reading books now. Use to love too, but now it's hard to focus.
We put my dad is respite care for 3 days the end of Feb. We didn't go anywhere but that was fine because it was just so relaxing to be at home and not have to think about my dad in the 24/7 care giving mode. He's been living with us for almost 6 months.
I think we really can lose touch with ourselves on the journey. As others have said above, make a plan and go do it. I love to go to Farmer's Markets, maybe you do too. Get some fresh flowers and produce and invite a friend to dinner. Of course, that might seem like more work.
I do understand how you feel. At least you realize what you are feeling and that will allow you to work on some advance planning. Good wishes to you.
About a month ago, my mom was in the hospital for about a week and honestly, I think I was more stressed out and busy then than when she is at home. I always felt I had to go up to the hospital, always had to make sure everything was just so, I couldn't even sit down for 10 minutes without getting up looking for something to do.
The only time I really get out is when I have to do errands, I am gone for a few hours and frankly, it's the most peaceful time for me because. while I am still "doing" stuff, I am, at least, away from the apartment for a few hours.
*Hugs* for you .
Or give yourself the gift of a "spa" day. Let someone pamper you for a change!
A quiet walk in the park or just sitting and reading a good book with quiet music in the background is also soothing and relaxing.
It is hard to shift gears, but if you make it a part of your routine it will become easier to find "you" time. Good luck!
Ironically, It takes a bit of practice. Hard to jump off the runaway train.
Learning to breathe deeply and beneficially is an art in itself, and very healing.
Peace, and space to enjoy it in, to all caregivers.
It sounds like your mom is upset about the change of life/address and is taking it out on you, or hoping if she makes it difficult enough, youll abandon the idea. I'm not justifying it at all, this is just something I see in my mother sometimes.
I know it is a false economy. They will all be gone in 5 years, and then what?