Who really gives a SHIFT?

Absolutely. I don’t need to go to an overpriced coffee shop or out anywhere else. I can go on my own personal vacation in my home. There are always headphones for my iPad and I don’t need to be a captive audience while bedridden hubby watches 50 year old repeats for the bazillionth time. I can read. I can knit. When hubby endlessly asks “Where are you going?” Or “What are you doing now!” as soon as my backside leaves my chair, I’ve perfected distractedly saying, “I don’t know...” We NEED to do this! Good for us! We should all be full of SHIFT.

I absolutely love this. You are a teacher. I hope EVERYONE reads this post.

Thanks for the laugh. It really brightened my day.

Good for you!

Just remember though, there are some of us this was not or is not an option. Those taking care of people with Dementia don't have this luxury because the people cannot comprehend what ur are trying to get across.

(((Well done hugs)))

You go !! That is awesome, and something we need to be reminded of. Wish it was possible for everyone on here!

Thank you all for your replies! I understand everyone’s caregiver situation is unique with various details and responsibilities. However, I feel that taking breaks are a necessity instead of a luxury for caregivers. In order to maintain appropriate levels of self sanity and ability, caregivers MUST take care of themselves whether it’s ten minutes or two hours, uninterrupted ME time is crucial. How can we give our best if we do not tend to what’s best for ourselves? I understand that Dementia contorts understanding for those who are afflicted by it; maybe the required ME time can be say getting up just even ten minutes earlier than you do now - even those who provide constant supervised care for someone have opportunity for ME time because the ones being cared for do sleep at some point- embrace it , make it work for you. At least try it. Our caregiverhood on AgingCare.com is amazing and we all have saved and have been saved because of the support and luv here, and we don’t want to lose any of us for any reason especially if it can be prevented. The benefits of ME time are ten fold- just ten minutes for yourself will save your mental health!
XOXOXO
susan
However you make it happen, have a great safe holiday weekend e1 !

This is what I needed to "hear" at just this moment. Thank you. I will write more later when I get to my Shift... even as I sit here to have my quiet time at the computer, I hear mom coming down the hall, for the second time, to ask me where she put something. I'm going crazy. Today I feel anger. I don't want to be this way with my mom. Thank you for your wonderfully helpful ... what is it? My memory is terrible... too much stress.

I just found this site (Aging Care). Your post, and the responses it brought sparked hope that I can maintain my own sanity, and my own self. I just kicked out, for the umpteenth time, the thought that there won't be anything left of my self by the time this caregiving gig comes to its end. I can start taking shifts, if I can handle the guilt, since if we were conjoined twins that wouldn't be close enough for my husband! Actually I just took a short shift on this website and let him sit in his rocker. He's pretending it's OK. I've allowed myself to be trained for more than 46 years to feel guilty if he's silent. That's not working well now, since he can barely converse. But you have given me some great encouragement. THANK YOU!!!!

Rock it, Phar!

That’s awesome Phar!

Thanks for this post! My issue is the never-ending planning of her life when I do get a break. ‘One day at a time’ is all well and good, but so much planning is required. I always was an ovethinker and my own mentality crushes me in this gig! Maybe there’s just more opportunity now to change how much I try to keep everything too ‘right.’

Excellent message, PharSytid... good job!
Learning to take as good care of ourselves as we do of those we love is, indeed, a step by step process... Start small and the possibilities grow, especially as guilt for doing so declines...
It's an important message for everyone here... Thank you for sharing... #andwebreathe

For the most part, my mom with Alzheimer's had no concept of time, so she couldn't understand that I couldn't be at her beck and call all the time. I could be on the phone, and she'd ask for some juice, (even though she just had some), and I told her I'd give her more as soon as I was off the phone, but she couldn't understand that. Sometimes, though, she did understand things. She wanted to get up from her chair, but I couldn't help her at that exact moment, so she figured out how to put the handle of her cane around the adjacent couch's armrest, and pulled herself up. I said, "That's using your head," and she patted her derriere and said, "I thought I was using the other end." I loved the fact that within the storm of Alzheimer's, she sometimes retained her sense of humor, (and her common sense). I learned to take respite breaks when I could, even a cup of coffee with a friend helped. Those 15 minute breaks helped carry me through.

Well said and Well done!
👍👍👍👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍

That is a good idea but remember this.....while you are entitled to and must take a break, often with these people it is far too dangerous and things can happen that are really bad. I personally think when they become abusive, nasty, dangerous and otherwise extreme in behavior, you STOP taking care of them and place them before you end up in a facility right next to them because they drove you there. So beware - sounds great but what if ...........???????????

Kudos to you!

I’m new to the forum. My husband has Glioblastoma multiform stage 4 brain cancer . ( GBM ) My entire body aches from the edges of my feet to my ears. Wish I had found this earlier . It’s only been since January that he’s been in a wheelchair . He’s 68 and I’m 52 . He used to joke that he married someone younger so when he got older they could push him in his wheelchair . Told him then don’t speak that on his life. He’s always had more energy than I . Had his own plumbing company for 40 years . I know this is making him crazy as well .. he was so independent.. Now if I’m anywhere out of his sight for 10 minutes he’s calling me . He calls me cause he has to pee and needs the urinal . Or fart . I don’t need to be next to him for that .. I’m not dealing with dementia as you are but GBM does cause brain to short circuit or sometimes disconnects ( depending on where the tumor is ) his is now bilateral frontal lobe . We go to a assisted gym now increased to 3X per week 2.5 hours each time. We’re making progress . But not walking just yet. If we can stop that damn tumor ... It’s nice to see so many people supporting each other. Last month I gave up my job at a Major Hospital in our city. I just went into my 14th year . Loved my job but in home care became to expensive . I left on Rehire status . Thought I was tired going in at 5 am working all day. Coming home doing his billing etc. but since he’s been in wheelchair and I’m his 24/7 caregiver. This is harder than when I was going to work with no sleep. There is absolutely no down time. His brother just started staying with us 2-3 times a week but he works from 6 am to 6 pm. Even with his brother here. I’m still called if he’s cold and can’t reach the blanket. Or the cup needs to be a little closer to his reach.. . His brother says man I could do that. My husband just says no she’s got it ... think I am going to start this shift stuff your talking about. . I am to young to feel this old. I love my husband but I feel bad because I want a break. I just went to walk in clinic. Doctor said no strep but gave me antibiotic. Said seems to be common cold but I looked like I wasn’t sleeping and not taking care of myself. He said you need to rest . Your body is worn out and can’t even fight a common cold ... I’m hoping with some Me shifts I can feel better. Physically and mentally ...
will visit this site daily if I can . Best of luck to us all .

Tami

Good advice love it

PharSytid,

Perfectly said and done!!! Good for you! Keep up taking your SHIFTS!! :) :) :)