I work for an elderly couple. The husband is perfectly normal but the wife does have dementia. I have been there for a year now and she is deteriorating fast. She can no longer walk or stand on her own and only says yes and no every great while. In the last 6 months she has been having seizure like episodes but the doctors can't figure out what's going on. She is deteriorating fast but the husband does not want to do palliative care. She has been in the hospital multiple times in the last 2 months for dehydration and UTI's. Would I be wrong to call Adult Protective Services because she needs some type of extra care?
I want to add that people have the right to make medical decisions that you or I wouldn't agree with, even ones that might cause pain or suffering. As a paid caregiver you must be able to go along with those choices, if you can't then it might be better to let someone else step in.
But where's the hospital? The woman has been in hospital multiple times in last 2 months. I'm assuming that she's a Medicare patient. Hospitalized are penalized if patients are readmitted within short periods of time with the same diagnoses. She should be getting home health nurse visits at least weekly. Where are those who should be helping this woman?
Do you accompany her to the doctor’s? Next time, ask for a family member to go with you. As “just” a caregiver, you do not have the power to make medical decisions. If you aren’t on the HIPPA (privacy act) form, the doctor can’t even discuss her condition with you.
Who pays you? Speak with that person. Or, if you are employed by an agency, go to your supervisor. If you are privately employed and have no luck making voice contact with their family, find an address for the person who pays you and send a registered letter. Tell them your lady is declining rapidly and you feel she either needs Palliative Care or even Hospice. Share this with the doctor as well. Leave it to the doctor to make the first contact, it share everything you’ve observed. If
It might be helpful to talk to the palliative care agency yourself about the situation - they will surely have had experience in similar situations and may have good suggestions. Even some printed material from them might be a help.
If you think husband is losing patience with you bringing this up, can you find someone else to do it? If finding 'family' is too hard, perhaps a letter to her doctor could explain what you are seeing and the difficulty in dealing with it. The doctor can't talk to you about it, but it could alter what questions they ask and what they actually see. You could even make the letter anonymous if necessary. But Ahmijoy is right - you don't want to appear to be talking about abuse and neglect.
Good luck!
That said, it doesn't sound like the right step in this poster's situation. The elderly lady is already under close supervision from healthcare professionals, for one thing; and for another it would be better to think specifically about what additional care is needed.
What is not being done for her at the moment that you would like to see done? What has the husband got against her being assessed for palliative care? A rose by any name would smell as sweet - rather than pushing the whole package, concentrate on particular tasks and see if you can get him to accept more help with those.
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