Any suggestions on how to convince my mother with dementia to get hospitalized willingly?
My Mother was recently diagnosed with dementia. She started on the patch two days ago. Every afternoon about 4 she goes into a Rage and it last till she passes out at 11. Reason are various from the real issues she is having to some she makes up in her mind. We are becoming afraid of her hurting herself or one of us. She will not take her meds. Her OCD is out of control. We think the best thing is for her to be hospitalized and stabilized on mood altering drugs and whatever else she needs before coming home. If I sign commitment papers it means the police come pick her up. We would much rather her go willingly. She is adamantly refusing. However, if she continues pushing us we will be forced to let police handle. This has come on so quickly that the shrink has not had time to run the tests he needs to make an evaluation and meet with me to discuss treatment plan. However the day of the initial because of her rage and symptoms I described he felt 99% sure it was dementia. Enough so that he help me draw up the papers to have her committed.
She may remember, she may not. It doesn't matter. the important thing is to keep her safe.
I would not call police. I would call EMTs. Youre not having her arrested, you're having her taken to the ER.
Has she been tested for a UTI?
I don't know what jurisdiction you're in, but in NYC, this would be a 911 call " my elderly mother is mentally ill and in danger of injuring herself. Please send an ambulance".
If your mother were a mentally robust person dealing with all her faculties, she'd thank her lucky stars she's got a daughter as smart, capable and resourceful as you are.
Just do the right thing. Get your mom the help she needs. Don't worry about the fallout.
And read some of the threads on here about narcissistic parents.
This is Not Your Fault.
Your mother thinks everything is your fault. She is wrong. That has never been true and it is not true now.
The state of your mother's mental health is Not Your Fault. Even if not every decision you've made has been ideal, even if you've made mistakes in caring for her, even if you are imperfect like the rest of humanity, this situation is Not Your Fault. You are clearly attempting to do your very best, and seeking help from the professionals and from other caregivers who have been through this. Good for you! Be proud. This is Not Your Fault.
The hoped-for outcome of sending your mother to the hospital is that the optimal combination of drugs can be found to keep her calm without overly sedating her. Dementia is not curable, but many of the symptoms are treatable. Ideally there is a solution so that she can return home without being a threat to herself and the household.
Another possible outcome is that she will need to be placed in a care center of some kind. Even if she can return home now, long-term care is very likely in the picture eventually.
Whatever the outcome of the hospitalization, it is Not Your Fault.
Any new change in meds could take 2-3 weeks before you see an improvement in her mood - not sure what med is being delivered via a patch - to stall memory loss? I understand some of these can actually make folks more aggressive - unintended consequence
At least she is safe and now Dad is too. Getting him help and well is my main focus. Once this is done I will redirect my attention to her. This situation is so fluid and out of control I am doing all I can to keep my head above water. I truly appreciate all the help and kind words. It helps knowing I am not alone.