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Hi, I have a situation where my dad is extremely toxic....without going into too much details, it's come to the point where we potentially have to go to court against each other. He has physical issues but mentally he's just fine. I'm cutting ties with him and moving him back to his place, because he refuses to go to a care facility, and I'm arranging people to come help him with household chores and showering. I wanna know what are some ways I could protect myself from any legal liabilities in case something happens to him in the future while living alone. Could I be held liable for elder abandonment? I plan to change my number and last name and not contact him again. Do I have him sign a document where he renounces me as his caregiver? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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I'm not sure, but I would suggest seeking out a state social worker. You can relinquish your care giving role, but I think you should notify someone of your intentions first so you can go about it the right way and not be potentially charged for abandonment. Maybe seek out elder services in your area or AOA.
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I wouldn't talk to a Social Worker. They will try to talk u out of leaving. They want no more responsibility than they already have. You cannot be forced to care for a parent.

I would do what you plan on doing. Take him to his home and set him up with who you think he needs. If you have POA, you can revoke it. Tell Dad to assign someone else. You may want to consult with a lawyer if he thinks calling Adult Protection Services would be wise. Just to put Dad on their radar. Maybe they can help with resourses and do a "well visit" every so often. What will end up happening is if Dad comes to the point he needs more care and they cannot contact a family member, he wilk become a Ward of the State and a guardian will be assigned to him. Any money he has will be used for his care. If he owns a house, the State may sell it and the proceeds will go to his care.

There will be members who can sympathize with you. Its hard dealing with someone who wants everything their way and has no empathy for the one doing the Caregiving. Its not a crime to just walk away.
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eajeuw Jun 2020
Thank you for the reply. I already contacted his hospital and they're sending a nurse once a week to check on him, and caregiver few hours a day to help him out with cleaning and shower. I'm telling everyone I will no longer be his caretaker and provided his friend's number in case of emergencies. Hopefully, this is enough.
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You say you are cutting ties with him and moving him back to his place. Does that mean you moved him INTO your place? And that you will "set him up". When you do these things you take on responsibility for someone. The key was to NOT do these things. Now that they are done you need to seek the advice of an elder law attorney in your own state to find out what legal repercussions there may be.
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eajeuw Jun 2020
Well when I moved him into my place, our relationship wasn't estranged and he was just released from the hospital. But series of things happened since he moved in that our relationship has deteriorated to the point of no fixing, hence cutting ties. He can walk on his own just fine, his mind is sharp, just needs help around the house and with showering, which I'm finding resources for him such as caregiver coming in few hours a day, nurse coming to check on him every week. Just wanna if that's good enough, or I need to be doing other things to protect myself from legal liabilities in the future.
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