I have had a father/son trip planned with my son for two years. It is one of those waiting list adventure trips that can not be rescheduled. My Dad has had several major medical events over the last year and a half. I have spent most weekends with him and taken 20 sick days since January. I have no regrets. My Dad is my best friend and my hero, and I would and will do anything for him.
This father/son trip is quickly approaching. My son says I should stay and my Dad says I should go. Most people have said they would stay. I am torn. I am afraid to leave my Dad and I am afraid to not go with my son. I will be a bad son or a bad dad in this process. Many have given advice, but few have been in this position. My gut says stay.
Any advice would be appreciated.
None of us knows the day, the hour, the moment. There have been people sent home with cancer and told they had six months to live and six years later, they are still going.
My husband received another rush phone call the other day and said, "I will get there when I can but I'm not dropping everything anymore. I saw him this morning and if it was for me to be with him when he passed then God would have took him then." The Angel of Death doesn't need us to be there.
I have been in your position and life turns into a waiting pattern. Waiting for that last call, that last breath. And sometimes waiting turns into months and in our case into years. I look back on things I was waiting for. Those moments won't ever come again.
Enjoy your son. Your dad has lived his life and I am guessing enjoyed things with you. If your son is set on not going, don't force him but don't feel guilty if you go. There will be other occassions and events in your son's life. Are you going to miss those because you are waiting for death while not living yourself?
You said your dad is your hero and your best friend and he says you should go. That says a lot about the integrity of your father and this trip that you and your son have planned says that he raised a son who is a loving father too.
Hugs to you and your family and God Bless.
1) How long is your adventure planned with you son? When is your scheduled departure date?
2) What has hospice said about your father?
3) If you go on holiday, can you perhaps video Skype with your father with the help of another?
I pray you have the wisdom you need to make a right decision. Either way, it sounds like you have cultivated a loving and genuine relationship with your father and son. What a blessing. That will remain the same no matter what the outcome.
Peace and comfort to you and your family.
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