My 80 year old father had a serious stroke over a year ago. Lost is license and since as lost the will to live...wants to die, gone off his food, don't want to take his medications and just sleeps in is recliner all day cart be bothered to get into bed...says he's chocking and cannot breath and keeps saying he's going to die in pain? I have no idea what he's talking about had the doctor out many times to no avail...I know he's depressed over not driving but honestly he couldn't drive any way...do as I can to please him I find it in possible to cheer him up its very draining on my mental health and don't know really what I can do to please him...any advise would be appreciated. ... Michael
I have accepted that my inlaws are never going to be their old selves ever again. The best I can hope for is that they're content. They are safe, clean, well fed, surrounded by their peers, and activities day and night. I have done all I can to help them maintain their dignity and independence. They have to help themselves as does your dad.
You cannot live you dad's life for him. Working on acceptance will help your mental health tremendously.
Michael
Take care
Michael
Michael
Have you had a swallow evaluation for him? Ask the dr. This can be done in your home. Does your dad have any old friends who could come over and visit him? Sometimes the unexpected appearance of someone from the past can sort of shock them to rally a bit. Does he get out at all? I noticed you said the dr comes by. Is he able to go to the barber shop? Just to take a drive can be rejuvenating. Or to sit outdoors if it isn't too hot. You can try music and/or aroma therapy. You can ask the dr to prescribe physical or occupational therapy. I am constantly amazed at the improvements brought about by a little movement. You didn't mention how his stroke affected him but stretching and moving his limbs can feel good. Ask about anxiety meds. His feelings of not being able to breathe might be anxiety. Sometimes just changing the view can help. Move his recliner to a different spot in the room. He probably won't like this but anger is a step above depression on the emotional scale. If he has no reaction then ask his dr to try a different antidepressant. Does he watch tv? Maybe there are old comedy movies that you could put on and watch with him. He needs to " forget " himself. And if these things don't help him, they might help you. And one last thought, depression can lift all on it's own. In fact I've read that happens at about the same rate as talk therapy helps. It sounds like you are doing a great job caring for him. Little steps can build upon themselves to brighten his spirits. You might try reading a chapter from a book to him everyday. Don't expect a big reaction. Just sit with him and read it. Then go about your business. He's too young to give up.
Michael
She refuses to get any help for depression and I can't force her. All I can do is try to redirect her. This is all so hard. Wish I could help.