I posted earlier about taking my dad (mild dementia) to a geriatric doctor. They found his heart rate to be extremely slow.. under 40 and made an appointment with a cardiologist which we went to today. He said he needed a pacemaker or he would possibly go into cardiac arrest within the next couple of weeks. We made an appointment for him tomorrow to get a pacemaker.
He has decided that he doesn't want it ..and said he is ready to go. I do understand his decision. His quality of life is still pretty good tho and he would feel much better with his pacemaker as he would have more energy..etc. ..but i do understand that he may not want to continue with dementia.
I'ts hard.. and I'm really sad... Basically he is going to most likely pass away in a few weeks..or maybe months of cardiac arrest.. i can't stop crying.
I'm really not sure he undertands the magnitude of it.. i hope he does..
There will always be situations like with your aunts. These sorts of things tend to bring out the know-it-all in everybody, to say nothing of the dysfunction.
Update..i got my dads bloodwork back and his kidneys are also failing. The dr. Office called and wants us to go to a kidney dr. Im thinking we will just skip all the drs from here on out and try to make him comfortable.
We have a call with someone my sister knows who works with hospice to go over what hospice does and how to set that up.
My moms sisters are not being very understanding and questioning our decisions. Me, my brother, and sister are composing an email to them to basically say to respect his wishes and do not question them.
My dad is at home and blissfully happy...having a few goodies and enjoying a visit from his grand daughter.
This makes me think about my own end of life wishes..
I understand how hard this must be fore you! Often the anesthesia used for surgery has extremely negative effects on cognition. Following the surgery you would see a definite progression in the dementia that may or may not reverse after a few weeks. Respect your dad's decision and be there for him. Call in hospice to help you through this. I know that if it were me, I would make the same decision your dad has.
My Mom had a pacemaker inserted about 3 years ago she has afib. Her cardiologist says it's going over 90% of the time.. It will probably need to be replaced earlier than most..Her dementia is between stage 5-6 on Alz. scale. Her heart may be beating but her brain isn't.. As her POA and she has a Living Will I will not sign off on a battery replacement. She is 92 and she's lived a long life. She entrusted me with making these decisions for her when she was of sound mind and I have to to see her wishes are met..
Implantation is done as outpatient surgery, but for some patients an overnight stay is recommended by the physician to ensure there's no bleeding and that the pacer is correctly positioned.
My mother had to keep her right arm raised all night long so that the wires could remain in position; she even had to wear a sling.
Anesthesia is definitely used; this is an invasive procedure.
As to removal, my father's was removed but that occurred when the battery was failing and he needed a new one.
Hope this helps clarify some of the pacer issues.
God bless you and your family in this difficult time.
My husband had both a pacemaker and defibrillator for several years before he developed dementia. He was very adamant about DNR after the dementia started, and he decided he wanted the defibrillator removed. We made an appointment with his cardiologist, who was shocked at the request. He had never had anyone wanting it out before. He told me we should think about it some more. I replied that he had been thinking about it for months. Then he faced my husband, both sitting on stools and on the same level, looked into his eyes, and said, "If as we are talking your heart stopped and you could get a shock that would start it again and then we could continue our conversation, wouldn't you want that shock?" And my husband replied, "No. I would rather die of a heart attack, like all my brothers, than to linger with dementia."
The doctor was surprised -- shocked might not be too strong a word -- but said he would not subject Hubby to a surgical procedure to do this, but that when the batteries were to be changed, he would remove the defibrillator . (I think he may have had to change the pacemaker at that time.) Hubby was OK with the pacemaker, as that device made his life more comfortable. He was not OK with a device that would potentially prolong his life.
The "procedure" lasted way longer than expected and I was getting worried. The doctor finally came out and said everything was OK but they'd keep him overnight for observations. And then he said, "I been thinking about this a lot. You made the right decision."
This situation is different than the one your father faces. Hubby already had the implanted device, and it was not the pacemaker he wanted removed. But I did believe he was competent to make his own decision and I would have supported whatever he wanted. That can be extremely hard!!
Hugs to your entire family. I hope that you can make the most of the time left to you.
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