He has been living in my house for a year and a half. He is a classic narcissist and has always been a sex addict. I am moving him into AL this week, which has had him in a rage all weekend. The police have been to my home 3 times since yesterday bc he is telling my neighbors I am abusing him and stealing his money, and bc he has tried to run away. My children are 17, 14, and 9. I feel sick to my stomach. Has anyone gone through something similar?
Law enforcement tries very hard not to get involved unless there really is imminent harm - if your dad can control his behavior around them, he is probably not impulsive enough to meet their criteria.
You do need to get him out, you know that.
If this continues (if he ends up at your home) you call APS because he is a danger to others and have the parents of the other children report his actions to the local police.
My intentions were good and I was trying to save him from hurting himself or someone else, or from ending up in an institution, but this has came back to bite me in the a**. Everyone else in his family knew better, but my heart got the best of me.
It’s from Teepa Snow, and is about dementia and language skills:
https://youtu.be/0BlZF_4EKp4
You may want to look into Memory Care.
Assisted living will not put up with someone like this for very long and you will have to move him to a memory care facility.
Keep him away from the children until then. Or if not possible, ensure supervision at all times. Can the 17 yr old call out in appropriate language to supervise if you cannot?
Explain to the Grandkids it is the disease. That his brain is breaking.
Yes this can happen. I have come across families where an elder had to placed in care & only received visits from grandchildren under strict supervision. Some cease visits entirely.
If he worsens, consider a mental health ER admit until next week.
This is one of those "just say no" situations.
You have young children that need you and he has made his choices.
I wouldn't contribute anything more after he is moved to AL.
Have a talk with your Aunt and explain that you love her and you don't want the relationship or lack of with your dad to have any bearing on the relationship you two have. If she lets him come between you, well, that's on her and her loss.