My father is 80 years old, is basically blind in one eye and cannot turn his head fully to either side. His driving has been horrible for a few years now. For the last number of years, my brother and I have consistently seen vehicles coming home with new scratches, dents, etc on them. My dad blames people in parking lots for these damages 🙄
The other night my brother called me to tell me how terrified he was..he had let my father drive into town and he kept veering into oncoming traffic and people were banging on their horns and swerving to avoid him. They almost went head on with another vehicle. Last week my father admitted to trying to backup to park and he came within an inch of hitting this lady's car. She was very upset at this and spoke to him in a very upset manner because he scared her! He kept saying that it didn't matter if he scared her, the only thing that mattered was that he didn't hit her car. He didn't acknowledge the fact at all that he scared her very badly and that was the reason why she reacted so strongly to him.
The day after the phone call from my brother, I contacted his doctor and they contacted the DMV to have his license revoked. Unfortunately, I didn't find out till later that evening that my brother admitts the truck DOES pull to the left a bit, however, when my brother drives it he is able to keep it within the lines and drive safely, unlike the experience with my father.
My dad totalled his old truck less than 3 months ago, and going back about 5 years, there was an accident that he swears the guy jumped in front of him from behind another vehicle and that my dad never hit the guy even though my dad got sued and the guy won $50,000. I do tend to not believe the guy's story fully as he gave three different stories to the cops, the attorney in the matter, the insurance company, and what he told my dad at the accident scene. The details kept changing. Once he claimed he went over the hood, which is a literal impossibility when you see how high my dad's front end is on that truck, another time he said he was thrown into a barbed wire fence that doesn't even exist at the accident scene, and then there was some other embellishment. I don't know how the insurance company didn't pick this out and how he still won 50 grand. You would think the inconsistencies alone would be enough.
Anyhow, my whole point of this post is to say that my dad's driving has clearly declined, and it's dangerous to society and to everyone in the vehicle. I tried to touch on the issue with him last night and he denied that his driving is bad. I told him listen, you don't want to be responsible for killing or maiming another person. Death is not always the worst thing that can happen to someone. There are other types of disabilities that can make life not worth living if a person suffers them.
I stopped short of telling him what the doctors had done, that they had contacted DMV for a revocation. I don't believe it is my place to tell him, I believe that is the doctor's responsibility, however, they know his personality and how angry he gets when he's upset so what will probably happen is he will just receive a paper in the mail from DMV saying that it was a medical revocation.
I am terrified that my name will be mentioned somewhere because he already doesn't accept the fact that his driving is bad and due to some other circumstances from a third party recently, someone put it in his head that I am only around for the money, that I want to put him in a home, and that I hate both my parents.😐 This person is after my dad's money and wants me out of the picture so he's trying to destroy my relationship with my dad.
What do I do if he finds out it was me who reported his bad driving to the Dr? I know he's going to believe I've stabbed him in the back. I am just terrified he's going to go out and kill himself and or my mother or someone else. I just cant live with that guilt. I already make myself guilty for things I know I shouldn't.
If his insurance states anything similar, he could be sued for everything he owns.
I am thinking mentally impaired seniors are causing far to many accidents and the insurance companies are doing everything they legally can to put a stop to the claims.
Remember DWI doesn't mean Driving while intoxicated it means Driving while impaired.
Putting through the paperwork to stop her driving has changed our relationship, but so has her diagnosis 2+ years ago. She wont see a doc for anything now, as her paranoia, a byproduct of this disease, makes her think I will throw her in a nursing home. We have no relationship as she doesn’t trust me, but so be it. I cannot control that she wants no part of me, but I am so at peace knowing I did the right thing, possibly saving lives.
If your dad confronts you, tell him you did the responsible and correct thing to assist him, and potentially other drivers.
I hope you can come to some peace on this.
It wouldn't work for u.....
Really I'm not even sure how u made it through ur teen years.
I don't know how they found out...
Doc must have told them. The computers r so tied together now, maybe when the doc puts in the medical chart u shouldn't drive it goes directly to the DMV... Idk know how the DMV found out...
U did not have nearly as much fun as u should have had in your teen years.
Baily, really don't understand your reply. When my grandson's Doctor reported him, I assume it was a letter with back up showing that because of epileptic seizures he could no longer drive. It took DMV 2 months to send my grandson a letter asking him to send his licence to them. To get it reinstated, he had to prove to DMV he has been seizure free for a year.
Seniors and their right to drive, or is it a privilege? This topic, and how to get them to move into AL are the biggies.
During a visit to mom several years ago, the neighbor pulled me to the side and informed that mom was having problems getting the car out of the garage. She would ask the neighbor to get her car out the garage. This was happening more and more. When I called her doctor and informed him, I was told she can't drive and he would file the paper work to revoke her license. Then I took her car keys.
My mom was never a violent or a foul mouth person, but taking her keys I experience both in spades. I'm sure this may looked comical from a distance watching 85+ women throwing punch and string of words that would make a long shore man blushed. Since the Police dept is a few blocks away, she turned me into the Police for stealing her keys. During this discussion, the doctor was called and clarified the situation. The police came out we a compromise that mom agree to but does not remember. Yes she has advance dementia.
That night I heard her raged how GREAT a driver she was. One of the best drivers in town, and the doctor had not right to do this. She called the doctor's office many time, but the story was the same. I tried to explain the risks and dangers of her driving. She was greater risk than a 16 year driver. She knew that wasn't true, because she was a GREAT driver. She didn't care if she did hit someone with the car. Lose the house in a law suit, etc. Beside that would not happen because she is a Great driver.
There was a lot more to story. She did drive the car for awhile on revoke license. She called up a lock Smith for a new key. She had a mechanic that would make house calls when the car would not start.
So where are we now? She is not driving. Mechanic doesn't show up. She now HATES her doctor for destroying her life, but she can walk to all the places she wants to go. I keep offering her to take her to the DMV to see about getting, but she declines.
Driving is one of the major steps becoming independence. Losing that independence can feel like a jail cell.
Just a couple of closing things to think about. Just because the drive license has been revoke. The senior still owns the car. If you take, the car can be report stolen and now you are the criminal. BTW don't steal their driver license. It is there property.