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to dimc40, I'm sorry if I offended you, it was not meant that way, but the referral to the tv program meant to show how others have the same hoarding problem and are helped to deal with it. I don't remember the original question saying her Mom had dementia. My Father has dememtia and is on his last breath in a nursing home and I took care of him for several years. My Mother was a hoarder and saved a lot of the same things your Mother did. She was also blind. I also took care of her too. She saved everything. When she went to assisted living and the kids had to empty out the big house, It was a sad act of love, and a lot of work, but some parts of it were fun to see all their old things. We felt it would have been better if Mom slowly let some stuff go. She knew she couldn't take it to Assisted Living and somewhat accepted that fact. Taking care of our elderly parents is tough and very stressful but it is all done with love, respect, and concern for their well being. I hope that with your guidance and love, you can help your Mom with her hoarding. I've done lots of research on dementia and the most profound thing I learned that gently holding their hand and looking in their eyes is a great comfort to them and improves their response.
I agree with greatat61. she didn't mean anything negative, and we all get a little sensitive over our responsibilities.:) My mother was a hoarder, too. I am the opposite. Maybe that's why Im the one taking care of her--balances things out. All those things don't mean anything to her anymore! It bugged me growing up--all that clutter gave me a headache. But now, the history and stories, and memories bought back by finding all that stuff! I'm in charge of it all. I use discretion, give things to cousins that were from their parents, toss inconsequential junk--some of it is, and we know it! Lots of cool jewelry, vintage clothes, handbags, etc.--IF you like that sort of thing! LOL There are many ways to look at things, friends. My Mother's generation went through the Depression--they learned to value things differently and hang onto items that "might come in handy". With some, it becomes an obsession, and then out of control. None of us are totally in control of all behaviors:) Sometimes you can say, "it is what it is", other times, do something about it. HUGS to you all:)))
Hi there, my mom was a hoarder and THEN she had dementia. Double Whammy. I actually learned from the Hoarders: Buried Alive and the other, can't remember the name. They have a hard core emotional attachment to stuff we see as junk. Slow and easy does it. I had to clean out a total of 15 THOUSAND sq ft (mom had a big old building as well as a big house) packed full of mostly junk stuff with some treasure buried inside of that. I'm still not right. good luck and just a little at a time for both your sakes. Mom used to say this and at the time it would drive me nuts: inch by inch, it's a cinch. but it's true. aside from offering to show up with a front loader, this is the best I can do. lovbob
My mom lives with me 2 years. She has a condo that i have been trying to sell. She hoarded alot. Stupid things like the trays that meat come on, washed and clean. Cool whip containers, nails, screws that she would find. Tin foil that could be used again. (not really). She had her first drivers license, car registrations, titles etc. Boxes of papers from the 2 companies she owed in 1977! I know my mom grew up with nothing. So i can see where the saving things comes in to play. Mom and i together used to collect old movie memoribilia. I have a shed full of old movies magazines, posters, autographes, dolls......but at least i can turn it into money. I was just a shame to see the things my mom was saving. She could buy things, leave them in the box and never use it. Needless to say I gave away lot of things. I also donated clothes to the poor. Patti my blessing to you. My mom is 84. horrible to see her fall apart. Greatat61, yes your are insincere. the show Hoarders are ppl that have a problem with saving things and need help. my mom as dementia.
OMG! My Mom and I are old movie buffs as well!! No throwing away there. Posters, magazines from long ago. That's what keeps us grounded. "Dark Victory " Bette Davis, is fantastic! I think your are great!
The best advice I was ever given for hoarding behavior is to 'group' items together that are the same thing. Hoarding is a very complex situation and not easily resolved. I am finding it helpful to give items away to people that I know that need these things and to stop bringing more stuff into the house.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Taking care of our elderly parents is tough and very stressful but it is all done with love, respect, and concern for their well being.
I hope that with your guidance and love, you can help your Mom with her hoarding. I've done lots of research on dementia and the most profound thing I learned that gently holding their hand and looking in their eyes is a great comfort to them and improves their response.
My mother was a hoarder, too. I am the opposite. Maybe that's why Im the one taking care of her--balances things out. All those things don't mean anything to her anymore! It bugged me growing up--all that clutter gave me a headache. But now, the history and stories, and memories bought back by finding all that stuff! I'm in charge of it all. I use discretion, give things to cousins that were from their parents, toss inconsequential junk--some of it is, and we know it! Lots of cool jewelry, vintage clothes, handbags, etc.--IF you like that sort of thing! LOL
There are many ways to look at things, friends. My Mother's generation went through the Depression--they learned to value things differently and hang onto items that "might come in handy". With some, it becomes an obsession, and then out of control. None of us are totally in control of all behaviors:) Sometimes you can say, "it is what it is", other times, do something about it.
HUGS to you all:)))
my mom was a hoarder and THEN she had dementia.
Double Whammy.
I actually learned from the Hoarders: Buried Alive and the other, can't remember the name.
They have a hard core emotional attachment to stuff we see as junk.
Slow and easy does it.
I had to clean out a total of 15 THOUSAND sq ft (mom had a big old building as well as a big house) packed full of mostly junk stuff with some treasure buried inside of that.
I'm still not right.
good luck and just a little at a time for both your sakes.
Mom used to say this and at the time it would drive me nuts:
inch by inch, it's a cinch.
but it's true.
aside from offering to show up with a front loader, this is the best I can do.
lovbob
I know my mom grew up with nothing. So i can see where the saving things comes in to play.
Mom and i together used to collect old movie memoribilia. I have a shed full of old movies magazines, posters, autographes, dolls......but at least i can turn it into money.
I was just a shame to see the things my mom was saving. She could buy things, leave them in the box and never use it. Needless to say I gave away lot of things. I also donated clothes to the poor.
Patti my blessing to you. My mom is 84. horrible to see her fall apart.
Greatat61, yes your are insincere. the show Hoarders are ppl that have a problem with saving things and need help. my mom as dementia.
If you've tried just about everything (therapy, counseling, the works), then call the Salvation Army. They're definitely going to love you.
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