My mother-ion-law lives with us. She has the beginnings of Altzheimer's. She has become very moody lately, and throws a strop when she doesn't get her own way, and stops eating. She literally stays in her room all day like a sulky teenager. We love her dearly, and our caring for her is not just out of a sense of duty. I love her and care for her more than her own daughter does. She finds fault with EVERYTHING! I am at my wit's end. I am a nice person by nature, and I hate conflict, but the nicer I am to her the more it seems to irritate her. I don't know what to do. She has barely spoken to me, and has hardly eaten for about 3 days now. I am very worried.
Please do not associate "loving" an elder with needing to keep them home under 24 hour watch. It isn't humanly possible and it will drain you. Luckily you are young, but this is a long term commitment and you have to factor in your family plans as well.
It is nice that you love your mil, but this is an enormous undertaking, particularly with Alz. in the mix. Your hub and his family need to pitch in more or they need to provide in-home caregivers as respite for you. Trust me on that one!
Look to the future, figure out your family's needs and goals, then figure out how you can best accomodate your mil...that way, all will be satisfied.