I have been a caregiver for my mother for the past 10 years. This has been a challenge since I am a widow and living on a single income. I have 2 other siblings and a few years ago sat them down and told them it was no longer just my responsibility and asked for their help. Neither wanted her to live with them so she is living with me but both agreed to provide $100/mo towards expenses. This in no way pays for her expenses but it was something. Now one sibling has just quit paying and says it isn't her responsibility. Can anyone suggest how I can get her to continue her part, are there any legal avenues, etc. I am at my wits end over this and of course it is disrupting the family as we are now divided over this. Help
Make a list of ALL the expenses, down to every penny and roll of toilet paper, sit down with both of them again and go over it. The goal is to persuade, not lay a guilt trip on them. (Actually, you'd be doing both at the same time.) To really drive it home, try reenacting one of those Feed the Children commercials "for the cost of one cup of coffee a day you can provide for ..." If that doesn't work, take a copy of the list (preferably typewritten) to social services (public assistance) to see if you get an allowance large enough to cover most of the expenses. If there are churches nearby, hit all of them too. You'd be amazed to see how altruistic people can be, especially if their actions pave the way to Heaven and eternal life.
Good luck my friend, and keep us posted.
-- ED
:)
Have you applied for public assistance (SSI, etc.)? If not, you should. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do with your siblings is appeal to their sense of morality when it comes to pitching in financially. And since you assumed the responsibility of caring for your mother 10 years ago, they don't feel obligated to do anything since you seem to be taking care of everything.
One of the hardest things to do is ask for help. But when it comes to the woman who bore you there shouldn't be a mountain too high to keep you from providing for her. Go to Social Services, Social Security, church, whatever you have to do.
Do it for love, and try not to resent your sibs for not stepping up to the plate. If they have any conscience and realize how important family is, they'll come around ... eventually.