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I've discussed mom's current behavior with her doctor..even the director of the facility has written him about her increasing depressive behavior...and mood changes...do I press him for a 'accurate diagnosis'...or do we just go round and round...I get no help from a brother who lives 300 miles away...and only makes a phone call every 2-3 weeks...I get blamed for EVERYTHING...and she refuses to listen to me as if I'm the enemy but when anything thing needs to be done...it's "call my daughter!"..I've sought help from a therapist who tells me 'she's not the same person...I get that...however, it doesn't help me with how to deal with her accusations and paranoia...,she's NEVER WRONG, NEVER FORGETS...and unless I agree with her...it's emotionally exhausting.. p.s. Thanks Nancy H.

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Hi Kukia77
I can relate to your situation. I have become aware of the fact that I cannot reason with my mother. She doesn't have the ability to understand what I want her to understand. My mom has been experiencing delusions and paranoia. I have come to the point where I don't argue. She is set in her ways. I listen. iit certainly can be emotionally exhausting. As far as accusations, I become very sensitive also when I get accused of something that my mom misunderstood and twisted it to her own way of thinking. I have to remind myself to handle it like you would a small child. This desease is awful. I really never thought it would happened to my mom. it can happens to anybody and luckily we are becoming more aware of it and hopefully there will be an improvement through research.
I just wanted to share with you what I have experienced.
Take care
Equinox
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ur mom is not the enemy, her condition is ! she should be seeing her primary care physician at least annually. request that he administer a mini memory exam. chances are, ur mom should be referred to a neurologist for an extensive exam. this exam will tell u if you are dealing with dementia or alzheimers, a very important distinction. finally, take care of yourself, and develop a stoic attitude, "this too will pass," it may be 10 years, but it will pass.
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Dementia of any kind, including Alzheimer's, is diagnosed as other diseases and chronic conditions are diagnosed: by physicians qualified in that area. This could start with the primary care physician, as bibliojohnny says, and would probably be referred to a specialist such as a behavioral neurologist or a geriatric psychiatrist.

I suspect that many, many cases of dementia are never officially diagnosed, but the symptoms are just dealt with by the family as best they can.
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