MIL is in assisted living. Early this evening we rc'd a call from a nurse there who said my MIL came to her saying her breast was hurting. The nurse took a look at it and found she had a very large hard lump. Her son, my husband, headed right down and took her to an urgent care clinic, doctor there sent them on to ER. After several tests, etc a doctor came in and told them it is not an infection and he and the other professionals who both examined her and reviewed the tests believe it is cancer. We will get her in to appropriate doctors on Monday if possible. Based on the information the doctor got from my MIL he thinks is is an "aggressive" cancer. The lump is the size of a fist. She had not complained of breast pain prior to this (that we know of). She stopped wearing a bra several months ago because it was irritating an area she had shingles at. They also diagnosed a bladder infection at the ER. She seems to only be concerned with that right now which is not surprising. Hospital said she could stay there or she could go home. Of course we wanted to have her come to our house, but she wants to go back to her place. We did not push her to come here and did not push the C word on her. Just given the limited information at the moment can anyone offer any insight for us. What things will we need to be certain to ask? We will see her tomorrow. BTW ER is a nationally recognized hospital. It is a long way to Monday. Thank you.
I was on that pill for a couple of years and had to switch to something else, for me it was not user friendly. It made you feel like you were going through menopause all over again big time. Plus other major side effects.
So I am keeping my fingers crossed that if your Mom has those side effects that they are mild for her.
If Mom just cannot handle Letrozole, ask the doctor about Tamoxifen, which is another common pill. Yes, there are side effects but not as difficult.
If your MIL understands the possible side effects and is much happier to be taking medication than facing surgery - which you can quite see she would be - then it's worth trying the Letrozole and seeing what happens. In that case, I'd shift gear and remember that if she struggles with it, or if it's not helping, she can always stop taking it (under medical supervision, of course, not unilaterally).
I'm extremely surprised at what the nurse told you about hospice too. Actually, surprised is a bit of a euphemism - it sounds like hooey. Why not just start again when you see the oncologist?
There is quite a lot of information online - Google "Letrozole in the elderly," otherwise you'll get too much irrelevant stuff. The bone density really isn't a worry so much because it takes years to happen; but I wouldn't dismiss the other side effects just because they're not lethal. The question is how they make her feel, and if the cure is worse than the disease... But, maybe she'll get lucky. Goodness knows she's due some good luck!
Where there's life there's hope isn't a bad attitude if it's keeping your MIL in good spirits. Just don't let it make her doctors think she's all gung-ho for heroics after all. Hope you're all looking after one another, too - this is a rough experience for everyone.
If it were me, I would ask again about hospice. I would also ask for a detailed, considered assessment of the pros and cons of the proposed treatment, perhaps asking for quality of life to be prioritised as a factor. Support your husband in remembering that just because treatments are possible it doesn't mean they're necessarily the best option *for your MIL.* The questions to ask are "what happens if..." followed by
we accept this treatment option
we consider other treatment options
we do nothing
I'm very sorry that she has received such a discouraging assessment. How are you and your husband coping?
I saw my aunt suffer through lymphedema, even though she never had cancer. I made a resolution that whatever may eventually happen during the rest of my life, I won't give up my lymph nodes!
Lat stage breast cancer with lymph nodes removed have lymphedema about 1/3 of the time in upper arms, chest, neck. Melanoma has the same issues with lymphedema as the sentinel nodes get removed proactively now. It's a side effect that tends to be glossed over IMO.
You can google Kathy Bates lymphedema for articles on it.
I am sorry to learn of this diagnosis, but agree with CM, and applaud you for being on top of the situation and participating actively in this stage of her life.
My GM had Breast cancer when she was about 83. She had her breast removed. No radiation. No chemo. She died at 89 of bronchial problems. She was no stranger to cancer in her family and made what was a good decision for her situation. This was back in the 80s. A lot of progress has been made in treating cancer but my concern would be with the quality of her life after whichever treatment is offered. Make sure your MIL signs the appropriate paperwork for information to be released to you so that you are able to communicate on her behalf as needed. Hopefully all the ER records have been forwarded.
Let us know how you and she are doing.
If she has any type of dementia the anesthesia will be difficult for her.
Recovery and rehab will be difficult
Treatments will be difficult.
It might be best to leave it alone and provide comfort.
After you talk to the doctors and get all the options it might be determined that Hospice would be the best thing for her at this stage.
Ask the doctor one extra question..."If this were your Mother or Grandmother what would YOU do given the same circumstances?
At some point, the TX is far worse than the extended life they're given. My FIL had CLL (a type of leukemia). He lived 10 years past what he was told he would--but he aggressively treated everything. At the end of his life, his oncologist told me his blood looked like water, he had so few red blood cells. He was planning to do another chemo round--but his dr just said "Pal, you KNEW someday we'd get to "that point" and we're here." Dad just feared death so much, I know he fought it tooth and nail. We respected that he fought so hard. His last couple of years were awful--but he was alive and that's all he cared to be.
Honor your MIL. I hope you can find out what she wants to do. If she cannot aid in her own decision making and recovery, it will be really, really, hard on everyone. Obviously, of course, her first.
Be aware some drs are going to be "pull out all the stops" on every patient, and some are more "quality of life"---I wish you well in dealing with this.
Comfort care might include minimal surgery. I don't want to be too graphic about it, but if there is an aggressive tumour in your MIL's breast it could all get pretty miserable and gory long before it sees her off - and in that case, it would be greatly to her benefit to be treated surgically even without any expectation of a cure.
I'm doing exactly what I said not to do: getting ahead of the information. I hope your MIL's primary care doctor is able to gee the local centre up a bit and get her seen there quickly. Please keep us updated.
If it turns out the lump is cancer, then find a surgeon who is a "breast cancer specialist" not just a general surgeon. Your Mom-in-law will feel much better with a woman specialist [unless she is of the mind set that only men are good doctors, my Mom was that way].
If the cancer is only in the breast, then a mastectomy is recommended, then that way one wouldn't really need chemo, maybe radiation or not. But radiation would also be difficult on an elder because their skin is now so thin. There are pills that one can take, but the side effects aren't user friendly.
Believe it or not, mastectomy is now an out patient procedure. If your Mom-in-law has this surgery, make sure there is someone at home to do full-time caregiving because it usually takes a week to get back up on your feet. One can barely walk the first day back home.
Hopefully immune therapy is on the rise for this cancer, where one is given meds to boost the immune system to fight off the cancer.
"Just" calcifications which they removed. Interestingly, in the same place my mom's breast cancer was. So i feel blessed and lucky. But this was not a " nothing" procedure...and lest you think I'm a weak sister, I've had three unmedicated childbirths.
I would not put a patient with dementia through this outpatient.
Whenever i go to this facility for my annual mammo, i ask if anyone is there for a needle biopsy. If there are any takers, i tell them to get their valium before the procedure.
I would not have this done outpatient on an elderly patient.