Mom has had dementia for atleast 5 years now. I am her caregiver taking her to medical appointments, shopping & entertainment. I hired out of pocket a lady to clean & cook 2 times a week to help because I work full time, and don't live with her. Now she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I have taken a leave from work & moved in temporarily. I need to activate her springable power of attorney to get a reverse mortgage on her home in order to hire more care for her. I need to continue working & my siblings also work & wont contribute financially or don't work & won't contribute with time. I realize this will use up the estate but since they won't assist I'm ok with spending their (our)future inheritance on her care. My mother doesn't qualify for med-iCal help. My question is I sent her medical doctor at Kaiser a request for a letter certifying her inability to make decisions & I haven't heard back. Is it difficult to obtain this letter? Unfortunately I changed her primary physician after the congestive heart diagnosis & she hasn't been in to see her,but since the doctor is within Kaiser I figured they could just review the chart. Im thinking of Kaiser as a whole being her primary care physician but maybe I'm wrong.
With CHF and vascular dementia and that length of history, I'm not too sure about a plan that involves your mother being cared for at home unless you're able to live in (and having done it, I wouldn't recommend it). She will need 24/7 supervision before long. It may be that the money just won't stack up; and if you're working you can't afford to make up for it with your time. Any other options that you like the look of near you?
Really, don't rush into that reverse mortgage. They tend to be poor value for money, because they tend to be marketed to customers who are either over a barrel or have no idea of the current market for their property. It might well be better to sell outright - get good professional advice first, anyway.