Hello, we are moving mom from a Nursing Home to live with us (husband & I). Nursing Home says she needs to have an aide overnight to check her every 2 hours and change her diaper so she doesn't develop skin issues. She usually sleeps through the night (9pm - 6am).
My question, is it possible to find awesome diapers so I don't need to be up? I understand that I will need to change her and bathe her every morning.
Are you intending to try to care for a bedridden person with dementia on your own?
So, if she wets half hour after falling asleep then you have a good chance of skin problems.
You can check for the 1st week and see if 1 time a night would be sufficient and about what time it is needed. If she is completely bedridden she needs to have her position shifted every two hours as well.
I would not let the nursing home dictate what you need to do but, I would listen to their advice on how to keep her skin as healthy as possible. Once sores develop they are challenging to heal and can cause other issues.
Good luck with having her home.
Have you asked for an independent evaluation of what her care needs are?
The fact that you're hoping you can skip the night diapers is but one indication that you don't see what is coming. She was placed in NH for a reason, and one of them was overnight care.
You will not be able to work from home AND take care of Mom at the same time. Your work or your mom will suffer. Again, multiple people on here thought they could do that too. Most have to handle several work interruptions daily to tend to their elder. Any sort of schedule you have now will be out the window.
Can you lift her every day?
You will need an aide, if not for this reason then another. Are you okay with workers (strangers) in your house overnight?
Can you handle multiple toilet visits, butt wiping, diarrhea, bed urine, and getting her undressed/dressed? Multiple times a day, and night too?
Are your toilets, bathtubs, etc handicap-ready? Will her bed have safety rails? Are meds stored safely?
There will be no more dinners out, no vacations. Friends and family will say to call if you need anything, but you'll find almost none will volunteer to stay with her if you want or need time out.
When do you plan to get things like errands and grocery shopping done?
If she worsens, how will you handle the medical needs? If she keeps you up at night, how do you plan to handle work the next day?
If you get sick, injured, or compromised, what plan do you have for her care?
Finally, consider she is set in a routine at NH. Taking her out of that and into a whole new one is a rough transition on an elder. If you end up having to place her again, that's another round of transition and newness she'll have to adjust to.
I've said before that people think they can "love their way" through caregiving. That love will be enough to sustain their energy and will. It isn't. Most on here loved their elder dearly and wanted to care for them. They had to place their elder to save both of their lives.
If you're bound and determined to move her to your house, certainly no one can stop you. Just go into this with open eyes and KNOW what you are taking on.
Look, I'm all for home care if it is the best thing for everyone involved. I just want the OP to be fully informed about what the issues that come up might be.
The great thing about having my mom in a NH was that the care came to her.
There was a geriatrician, Advanced practise nurses, medtech nurses, podiatrist, audiologist, dentist, psychiatrist, dermatologist and eye doctor. All of those services were available "in house". No need to shlep mom out to have her seen.
Our only foray into the medical community was for a biopsy of what we all thought might be a new melanoma (it wasn't). But it was a heavy lift to get mom to and from the dermatologist's office, up on the table, etc for the procedure. I can't imagine having had to take her out for ALL of her medical care.
Good luck.
You can get mattresses that are alternating pressure mattresses that reduce the need to change position as often but she should be repositioned fairly often (every 2 hours is standard)
Changing her every morning is obvious but bathing her every morning is not necessary and can sometimes lead to skin issues as well. Cleaning the areas that become soiled, wet is important but a bath or shower is not necessary.
You might want to contact Hospice and see if she would qualify for Hospice services. You would have a Nurse that would come see her weekly and a CNA that would come in 2 maybe 3 times a week to bathe her, order supplies and help you out for an hour or two. you would also get the proper equipment that you will need. A good Hospital bed, a Sit to Stand or Hoyer Lift if either are needed, or you will get them when they are necessary.
You should also start looking for caregivers, either an agency or if you are going to hire privately. Even if you do not need one over night having someone come in a few hours during the day several days a week can be a lifesaver (and sanity saver)
TENA Intimates Overnight Absorbency Incontinence/Bladder Control Pad with Lie Down Protection.
Oh and I meant to add also that you will need to put down incontinence mats on the bed just in case of leakage. I seldom have a problem.
A person that does not move for 8 or 9 hours, or move enough to relieve pressure is at risk for skin breakdown
You seem very defensive when some responders offer you constructive advice. Removing someone from skilled nursing is a major undertaking and will require You to provide full time, around the clock care.
I borrowed a hospital bed from the Lion’s Club and I purchased a pressure mattress.
From Amazon I purchased washable bed pads, One was placed under the Sheet and one on top. I also purchased disposable pads to have as back up. Most nights mom did not leak. I used a washable pad on moms recliner and later on the wheelchair.
I never had to roll or reposition mom, mom never got bed sores. Desitin was my mom’s best friend along with the alternating air pressure pan. Later on when mom was having trouble standing I was able to get a Hoyer lift. This became my favorite device and my mom loved it. I used the split leg harness sometimes and other times a short full harness I purchased from Amazon. Mom was in a seated position in these harnesses vs the V position. I was able to move her. easily from bed to recliner or wheelchair very easily. We never used overnight care. I used a small camera that if I woke in the night I could check on mom easily.
Make sure mom is kept clean down there and use barrier cream. Try and get and alternating air bed pad for your mom to sleep on. Get her out of bed during the day. Wishing you the best. Get help for a few hours each week to give yourself a break, if mom is not ok the be left alone. My mom passed away at home in August.
Now my dad 97 needs a little help here and there bad knees. He is incontinent sometimes but not always. He keeps a urinal near him. He uses the Desitin also. More places on him for protection day and night. Mostly he coats himself. On bad days I do, we joke about greasing him down. Dad’s of sound mind which makes it easy. He is able to still live on his own. We live across the street. I go over a few times daily and always at night to make sure he is safe on stair lift transfers, because of his bad knees.
I wish you the best ask your doctor what durable medical equipment you may qualify for through medicare. If the nursing home has physical therapy they can possibly order a wheelchair if needed before she leaves. If you are in the US check with the Lion’s or Rotary club to see if they have a lending program. My mom had her hospital bed for 5 years from the Lion’s club.
Im sure your can get night time pullups or thicker diapers for Adults just like ones for children.
I doubt your mom wants to be woke up during the night anymore than you do.
Besudes the overnight diapers. Always use a thick babycream to help her not get a diaper rash.
You can also set up a Baby Monitor or a Nest Camera where you can check on her at any time 24 7 by using your computer or cell phone.
You're fortunate she sleeps thru the night unlike my 96 yr old Dad who won'ts a snack at 2 or 4 AM
During the daytime, I have her in Tranquility brand with the orange crotch that is in place to be extra absorbent.
Mom always applies a barrier cream each time she goes to the bathroom (after she cleans herself with disposable cleansing wipes). There is an absorbent cloth pad under her fitted sheet on her bed and a soft, disposable pad on top of the fitted sheet.
So far, she has had no skin issues (knock on wood!)
Hope this info helps.
This has been a life saver! Home health comes out once a month to put in a new catheter and we use an overnight bag all the time (verses a leg bag) and I only have to empty it once when she gets up and again b4 bed.
Seriously consider this!
I would suggest avoiding thin under-pads with a plastic lining, as they are not very absorbent and the plastic can hold moisture next to the skin.