Does anyone else here care for an aging parent in the home, not work outside the home? With COVID I feel like a prisoner inside my own home.

I am in a similar situation, not going anywhere and not working outside home, taking care of my 90 year old mom. Doing a hobby helps, I do some crafting and writing. Get outside and work in the yard, if you can. I,m also involved in an online Bible study, it isn't the same as seeing people in person, but it helps.

I am in a similar situation to you - and I totally identify with feeling like a prisoner in your own home. The covid situation has made things worse for people like us, as we want to protect our family and minimise going out, but in normal times the going out might be the only respite from care giving. I used to swim several times a week for mental as well as physical health but have been unable to do this since March, and miss my swimming buddies as well as the exercise. Also, you are spending all of your time caring for another and very little or no time on caring for yourself, which is not good for you and that is why you are feeling so low. The most important thing in the current situation as well as in the future is to balance your caring responsibilities with some time for yourself to do something you enjoy or that makes you feel good. Ideally have a place in your home that is your own personal space, where you can go to when everything gets too much or when you just need a break from caring. You also need to find something that gives you pleasure, to offset the daily grind of caring. My personal space is my garden, with gardening as one of my main pleasure-giving activities. I also have a room in the house that is mine and that I can go to for a rest, to read, watch TV, catch up on emails etc without being bothered by anyone else. Sometimes I find going for a walk helps too - alone, not with anyone else tagging along. If your mother tries to insist on accompanying you every time you leave the house, you need to try and kindly explain that you need some time to yourself sometimes. My mother used to pounce on me every time she saw me looking like I was about to go out, questioning me about where I was going and that she was coming too. It would drive me crazy and this is where the feeling of being a prisoner came from. In the end I would say I was just going out and wanted to be on my own for a while. She didn't like this but it it was essential to retain my sanity. You are entitled to some personal space and to have a break from care giving. Hope this helps.

I am so glad I am not alone. This is a tough situation. When I made the decision to care for Mom, 90, I did not have a crystal ball. Mom is somewhat dependent on me. I have someone come give me a break once in a while. I go out in the yard to garden and that is my happy place. I used to have a home that was my safe place which I gave away. Now I have a room that I can use, however this J O B is 24/7. The only one that understands this is my husband. People volunteer to come and never show.......brother thinks that I am over~reacting, says he'll trade with me in a heartbeat. Well he retires Friday, we'll see if the rubber is going to meet the road. I take Mom for a ride EVERY day for one hour. Some days I count the minutes, some days I really enjoy. It all has to do with my Spiritual fitness. I also do Zoom meeting and phone calls with friends. It is so nice to see their face. I am here for you to vent 24/7.

I too am in a similar situation. I care for my bedridden husband who has been under Hospice care for the last 19 months. I haven't been able to work for the last 3 1/2 years due to some health issues and now my husband. I am so used to being at home that this Covid crap really hasn't changed my life at all(other than I now I have to wear a mask when I go in places). That being said though, I really have tried to get out at least a couple days a week for my sanity's sake to meet a friend for supper or just shop for a little bit to get some more human interaction, as caregiving 24/7 is very lonely, and in my case, my husband since his stroke, doesn't speak very well, so we really can't have much of a conversation. I'm not as paranoid as some people are about getting the virus or exposing my husband, as I feel at this point my mental health is more important. I don't know if you have anyone that can come sit with your mom at least once a week, so you can just get out for a few hours, and do whatever you enjoy doing or not, but you'd be amazed what just a few hours away can do for your perspective, and mental health. I think that that is the biggest mistake that us caregivers make, and that's not taking time for ourselves. It's so very important. If we don't as you already know, it takes a great toll on our mental and also our physical health. You're just going to have to make yourself a priority. It'll be worth it. I promise.

I care for my 86 yr old friend. We are live in. It is very hard. Ive been having a real hard time bc i want to live now and now facing my own health issues and worry will i ever be able to live again literally. I am learning to give it all over to the Lord and be happy and content with what I have and where I am.

Yes! We are all going nuts and I assure you that you are not alone. What part of Florida? I’m in palm beach county. I am 24/7 caregiver and work from home (though so far behind in work as it’s not easy to get anything done). My family is in another state and though I was 100% go go go after her stroke with non stop therapy and getting organized after living in hospitals for 3 months at least back then there were therapist coming in or we went to outpatient. Just when I thought maybe I would start bringing at least PT back in our numbers started rising and now I feel stuck again. Like will I ever get her back into therapy and looking for care to help me at home. It makes for long days. I too escape outdoor and try to do my work on the patio - 110 degrees lol but my gosh it’s quiet ;)

Yes...I am here for my Mom 24/7 and it’s just me, my husband and her everyday. She is 91 and has moderate dementia and is very wobbly and uses a cane - refuses to use a walker. Half the time she forgets the cane and has fallen twice and stumbled many times. I can’t follow her around constantly. She is beyond anything that requires critical thinking, i.e. preparing meals, taking meds, using a telephone etc. Naturally, we each try to take times for ourselves, but she’s with it enough to resent us leaving for a few hours....separately because of COVID. I don’t want anyone in the house that could bring in the pandemic. So, I go kayaking and hubby fishes. We’ll take turns care-giving. I did it for his Mom and older sister, so he’s willing. It’s relaxing but we come home to the full time job. I keep telling myself this too will pass; try to keep a sense of humor; if I get testy; I forgive myself and try better next time...despite the myriads of times I cook something special she likes and I don’t get even an “oh this tastes good”, least of all a thank you. Care-giving is the hardest job in the world. If you are in that position....I admire and applaud you. Enough said.

I'm here too with all of you..so glad you posted this question.

I work in a school p/t and before covid, had aides come in to sit with mom while I worked. Now if I cannot go back to my job in Sept due to covid,I'll be very depressed since that's my lifeline to sanity.

Mom likes to be around me & stare at my face and I totally hate that...so I put on YT videos for her and insist that she stay in her room for a bit.

I sometimes wonder why our parents go on living & living & living....,what is the purpose of their life if they get too sick/very dependent on us?

My husband is generally supportive since his parents also live with us 6 mos/year. I feel I'm running my own senior center with meals on the dot, taking them to appointments etc..

HI I hear you! I have been living with my mom with dementia since May. It seems like years now. Some days I wonder if I can even handle it. I changed my life to be here ..even thinking that i could get a part time job close by ..to alleviate stress. When I am gone..she wont eat. (or thinks she ate and did not) now my job is gone. My mom is 81yrs old..she has ALWAYS been a person that needs attention. which at times makes me wonder if she is doing her coughing fits, "cold" scenarios, and repeat activities like changing the channel on the TV constantly ..ON PURPOSE (?). Its only when I walk in the room. She complains about the same things all the time. when it hits her brain it has to process out of her brain until the next time. Its like a never ending tape recorder. I am coming to a place/process of NOT having an opinion concerning her antics...not easy. Which is why i am here on AgingCare. I have always been a person with empathy. Why have I lost it now? Its like I dont feel sorry for my mom at all. I have done workshops on Alzheimers, taken classes, attended every doctors appointments etc. even spoke to social workers. All I can do is "sigh."....as I listen to her now..in the other room pretending to cough..so she can complain. :-(

Momscgiver, I hear you and I totally get it. You are not alone, there are so many of us all in the same boat. Sending you big big hugs through all this chaos! Not sure where you are, but I'm in NY and yes, it's been a long, tough road. But we will get through this, and this stupid pandemic WILL end eventually.

This has truly been a difficult time- I lost my grandfather to COVID19, my grandma and I were sick with it, which caused us both some health issues. But you know what? Those health issues are clearing up. My breathing has gotten much better to the point where I hardly need the inhaler. Grandma is recovering well. My family and I fought because difficult times tend to bring out the worst in people, but we are all still here and trying to patch things up.

My dear, don't worry. Like all storms in life, this too shall pass. Stay strong, take time out for yourself, go do something fun that you enjoy at least once a day. I live for my 12 o'clock Beatles block on the radio everyday! :) I promise you, it's all going to be okay.

To all of my fellow caregivers out there, sending you guys lots of love and support.

Wow! I thought I was the only one! My mom (93) came home from tcu at the end of March and was doing great- until her home therapy ended. Suddenly she became “helpless” and would find any excuse to get me to come to wherever she was. She too wanted me to sit on the couch with her for hours on end. I was at the point where I wanted to run away and not come back because I had no life. Unfortunately she was hospitalized and had surgery and had to go back to tcu a few Weeks ago. Of course she’s miserable and with Covid I can’t visit. I feel bad for her but at the same time I feel guilty for enjoying the break I’m getting. I want her back home but am also dreading giving up my freedom again. Most of the “needs” are just loneliness and the need for companionship. I will be getting some additional home care when she returns home so I can do my own thing a couple of times/wk. financially it’s going to be a stretch but worth it for both of us. It’s a good strategy- hopefully it will help. Btw - asking friends and family to help out? We all know when it comes down to it, unless they are absolute saints, they can’t be depended on. And, as hard as it seems sometimes I’m so grateful to still have Mom around and want to enjoy her as much as I can while I still have her. Thank God her memory is still good enough that she still recognizes me!

Boy can I relate to your situation though my mom passed a couple of years ago. She was bedridden on hospice living in my home for 2 yrs. Then my MIL had to be cared for because my husband's only sibling died and this went on for 3 more years. Total I spent over 17 yrs care giving. Friends with frivolous one track minded interests disappeared. Now the pandemic is keeping me from finally realizing any dreams and plans we had to move from this state. It is easy to feel trapped and depressed. What helps me most is keeping a journal. Gardening a bit helps as well. Do you have a pet? I came on Aging Care and often that was the only outside contact I had, and at the time my mom was bedridden in my home that helped immensely. Please feel free to come on here and vent or keep contact too. There are many caregivers who feel as you do! You are a wonderful caregiver to your mom.

Hi, my name is Jennifer and I live in Texas. I live and help take care of my 81 year old mother. You are not alone! I feel trapped in our home too because I don't want to get out and pick up the awful Covid-19 virus and give it to her. I usually have our groceries delivered. She has home health care come by for physical therapy, but last week I paused her therapy because the Corona virus is getting so bad around here. I usually buy my mom books to keep her occupied, but she loves watching t.v. Soon I will be going back to work as a teacher's aide which also frightens me about picking up the virus. I would suggest get some projects like even water coloring, latch hook, or puzzles to keep her busy and motivated. I hope this helps! Take care and be safe! Sincerely, Jen

Is it possible to put a camera in the main part of the room she is in all day. This way you can go outside and sit or garden for a while. For appointments can you do virtual ones? We have been doing all appointments virtually. We have a pace maker check coming up. They do it in the parking lot without the patient getting out of the car. My mom will wear a shield. My mom once she is in her recliner she will stay put until I help her get out, so I am lucky in that way. Once my mom has breakfast I go out side or run an errand. My dad lives there but he has mobility issues. So I fix meals and take care of moms needs.

I am in the same boat but it is my husband who I am caring for I have no family around our adult children live one near NY city in NJ, and one in CA near the beach Monterey, too expensive in both cases to move close. Both couples work full time and have a child. I had a fall 2 years ago leaving me with my writing hand and arm damaged. At least I can drive for now. We have some money for now but when I have to pay for full time care in a facility it sure won't last long. When he could go to adult day care a couple of days a week it was manageable but that is now long gone with the pandemic. If that were not enuff he doesn't hear most of my voice upper register and he won't wear a hearing aid and says I mumble.

I am a caregiver for mom(84)living in apartment in a senior community but does not care to take an interest in anything. She is on a walker. Mom has a part time evening sitter that also shops for food and does light housekeeping, helps her shower. An aunt is 91 living in her home with in home care. For the aunt we installed cameras and use the Nest app. when family cannot be with her. Thankfully we have family support from most. I have found tending my garden and just getting some green time does wonders for my soul. Could you get a sitter for your mom and at least run errands by yourself? The Nest app works with your phone and you can easily watch from from the yard or store. It's not the same but keep connected to old friends through social media or phone.

Hi - I'm Barbara. Only child Caregiver for Dad, BUT he only lived me with few months.
Own his own with 2 helpers and me visiting 2 days a week. This forum is a huge help to all of us. I mostly read but thought I would share today.
Dad is 93 with dementia, not worst case but we have to give morning meds and prep meals. He is able to walk and use bathroom.
Sometimes we have to think out of the box of what to do for our parent.
I pick flowers for Dad and he loves them
Brought friends dog over and he enjoyed that and lit him up
Bring a magazine and go through page by page with comments
Bring over a food treat that he likes
Buy scratch off lottery tickets and have them do the scratching with a coin. Last one was a $10 winner- Dad was happy!
Show him paper pictures from the past or pics/video on my phone of something
We do simple exercises together - marching in place holding on to chair and he can lift free weights. I get Dad outside for short walks. He also enjoys just standing outside and watching the birds and planes.

You can use a wheelchair outside and take parent for a walk. If parent can get to the chair outside. It can be kept outside hidden and covered if you don't have a ramp.
If parent can get to the car take for a ride - plan visit to a park - have lunch at a picnic table.
Doing something together such as adult coloring books, puzzles.
What I find is we get so used to doing things for them we forget they may be able to do things also but we don't give them the chance. I witnessed in a rehab they gave a lady towels to fold and she felt an accomplishment.

Nothing says we all should not be exercising even if our parent can't . Many exercises you can do inside and maybe you can leave for 15 min for a walk.

Dad likes to watch the birds - if you have a tree or anywhere you can place bread and attract birds it can hold their attention.

It's easy to get frustrated but put the energy into thinking of something your parent would like. They know more that you think and pick up on our frustration.
Put yourself in their place.
Sometimes we forget to ask what do they want? - what would they like to do?

I took my Dad to the driving range - long time golfer and he can still hit a short shot but he enjoyed just watching the guys hit and then we played a couple holes of miniature golf.
Since the virus I'm thinking many of our homes have less items, is more organized, and if it's not than you can do that on your own to keep busy and you feel better downsizing.
I think we get so frustrated as we are thinking of ourselves and how we are handling the care giving situation. A parent can realize they are stuck and can feel like they are a burden.

Try a different approach. The last thing we want is after our parent has passed is to look back and realize we didn't do more positive activities.

All the best to care givers and do for yourselves best you can and try to make your parent smile today.

Barbara

I guess there are alot of us in the same boat; My 84 year old mom has been with me and my husband since 2014. Of course the senior center, which was our only respite is unreachable; even if it opens part time mom's immune system is compromised and I can't risk letting her go there. I work at a school (cooking), so
have been home since March 14th and don't know if I school will even open in the fall. We are all going stir-crazy and getting on each other's nerves. Mom has a terrible habit of scratching her skin until she has open sores all over, so I constantly have to watch her, apply lotion or antibiotic cream, or just leave the room. She also clears her throat constantly.
Fortunately she has a tv in her room and will "hibernate" there for hours at a time so we can have some peace. I hate to think of the television being used as a babysitter, but it works!
I get my own peaceful times by doing a lot of yard work, selling things on ebay, and reading, but there are many times when I just want to cry, and feel hopeless, and also guilty for sometimes just not wanting her here anymore. I feel for you, and this Covid 19 has turned everything upside down; I wish I could just feel safe going out to eat or be able to escape now and then.
My husband is retired and can stay with her, but has grown resentful and wants no part of her; that makes it even tougher for me and mom.
You are not alone feeling up against a wall; hang in there, and know that there are many of us in the same boat out here....

I've been taking care of my 87 year-old mother for the last 4 years, since my father passed away. I'm an introvert, but yes, there are times when I want to pull my hair out. We're human. Especially when an aging parent has dementia. Everyone tells me to get help through her insurance company to have someone come in and stay with her. Personally, I don't want ANYONE in my home. NOBODY can take care of her like I do. Also, I don't trust ANYONE as well, even people in the medical field. My heart goes out to you!!!

Join a caregiver support group

Laugh and be thankful. Many people you may associate with aren't what you think, besides you have your friend (best friend) with you, your husband; many aren't as fortunate.

Sending you big hugs, Momscgiver!!
I can relate—I’ve said those exact words! My 84-year old mother with mild dementia moved in with me in April. I actually reached out to a therapist to help me deal with my burn out and angry and depressed feelings. She encouraged me to put self-care into my daily routine. It has helped me to take advantage of the morning time while my mom sleeps in. A friend in another state invited me to a “daily workout.” We swap “sweaty selfies” with no makeup for support and accountability. She’s been exercising for a while, but I am starting slow with a 30-day Yoga with Adriene routine in the morning. Then I treat myself to a healthy smoothie. I also started journaling my thoughts and made a list of gratitudes, which helped me remember some silver linings. When I journaled my gripes, it helped me see some small creative solutions to ease my stress.
I have joined an online book club that meets in the evenings when my mom is watching tv, and I am intentionally reaching out via Zoom and text to friends near and far. These few activities have helped my mood tremendously. I needed to have some control over my day and some sense of autonomy to be able to sustain this new normal.
Joining this group has made me realize I am not alone—the feeling of being trapped and isolated is the worst!! Praying the COVID-19 vaccine gets approved soon!! <3

Moms, you say that your mom is always in her room and you are always in there asking her if she needs anything.

You need to set a schedule and stop micromanaging her. Make sure that she has something to drink, snacks handy and access to the bathroom, if she is not mobile then do a bathroom schedule. I am sorry to sound rude, but you are creating a lot of stress for yourself and only you can stop it.

This whole covid thing has everyone not thinking straight. People that have isolated, wear masks and do everything they are supposed to do get sick. Stress weakens your immune system, so stop stressing about something that you have no control over. When it is our time to die, we will die, whether from covid or a heart attack. Does it really matter the cause? Being cautious is the best any of us can do and that means washing your hands, wearing a mask and not gathering in crowds, not becoming a hermit stuck in your home with no outings.

Been living with Mom for 19 years and at first it was because of her health. Now, she is okay, 93 years old and going strong. I just retired in January, and then Covid-19 hit. I've been locked up pretty much since February 20. I am 65 and also vulnerable, so I only go out grocery shopping. I feel like I was born to take care of others: Mom and grandkids. I figure one of us will finally die first and the other may have to go to an elder living facility some day. My life ended 23 years ago. How do I cope? I just accept that this is why I was born.

I've been in your boat. My husband and I took care of my mom with Alzheimer's for 5 years. I even wrote a book about our experiences: "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale." I found that writing the book was cathartic and helpful. I also found that finding humor is helpful, like when my mom wanted to tell someone that she pounded the pavement, looking for a job (accounting) in NY after college, but what she said was, "I walked the streets of NY, if you know what I mean." My mom might have been a sweet talker, but she wasn't a street walker. I also worked part time. Most people view Mondays as, "I have to go to work," but for me, it was, "Woo hoo, I get to go to work." It got me out of the caregiver role for a while. (Hubby watched her then.) I used that same change of perspective with my mom. At the beginning, I thought, "I have to take care of my mom, " but when I changed that perspective to, "I get to take care of my mom, " that made all the difference. I got to spend more time with her, even if much of the time, it wasn't really "her" any more. Hope this helps, and I hope you get a chance to read my book, which I tried to write with humor and heart. (You need both as a caregiver.)

You are being paranoid and letting this get way overblown in your life. Unfortunately I see this way too much.

Take natural supplements ( as well, ginger and garlic are the best immune strengtheners there is. Every year folks go nuts about the latest flu going around and are stupid enough to get the shots. Every one of our friends that get the shot get deathly sick. Our family does not get the shots and we do not get sick) , spend time outdoors every day and wear a mask when in crowds and you and your family should be okay.

I am blessed with both a flower garden and vegetable garden to take care of so my days are full.

Being an introvert covid does not bother me.

Mom has a network of folks that she calls or they call her every day. Make a list of family and friends to call every day.

Go for a walk in the park, being in nature has a calming effect on you.

And of course, for me, when I get stressed out I just take it to Jesus.

These really work for our friends and us.

May Jehovah Shalome (God of peace) bless you with His gentle, reassuring peace every day

I know from taking care of my 84 year old grandfather...who makes it his job to disagree with almost all my suggestions to make life a little easier for him the feelings of despair & lonliness that take over sometimes...I wish there was someone I could talk to that would listen, and be supportive & give me a perspective. And a hug. However there is not. Sometimes i have a down day & feel sorry for myself. We are only human after all. However, one of the upsides to my Grandpa's constant resistance to my healthy foods & healthy advice is that it has motivated me to take much better care of myself. Its really clear that when my grandpa eats the unhealthy greasy foods & drinks he likes his mood goes up, then crashing down. When he eats & drinks simple clean meals & fresh juices i make him he is stable, and reasonably pleasant.
Below is my 'feel better & keep myself sane' stuff i do..i hope it helps in some small way
Eating clean & walking (like another person said) where there is plenty of Nature...trees, flowers, grass. Most days i go early am & after dinner at night when Grandpa goes to sleep (which is really late some nights) It clears my head & gives me a perspective & definately helps me to sleep much better. I'll leave a little list for you of my habits that help me to feel better about myself, my Grandpa & my life. I don't do all of them everyday...just do the best I can. That's all Life expects of us after all.
6 cups epsom salts & a few drops lavender Oil in a warm bath..put my head under the water like when we were kids also. The magnesium in the epsom salts really helps to relax the nerves & give us deep sleep
Plenty of proteins with each meal (we need extra during stress times) chicken & fish, ground nuts & seeds, tempeh (delicious) eggs.
Iron & b12 with breakfast every day.
Raw garlic is the only substance man has that kills viruses...We have drugs that can hold the viruses down by stopping it multiplying (replicating) However, man can't kill it ...with all his fancy meds with stupid names.
Only when garlic is Raw is it antiviral. I bought a good crusher on Amazon & crush about 1 teaspoon of garlic..sit it on the counter for 5 mins...then swish it down like a pill just before meals..At least 1 time a day. Grandpa moans about it, but he takes it also.
All the stories about garlic keeping the evil spirits away from times past is because people believed that evil spirits would 'pour diseases over people'..They didn't realize they stayed well because of the antiviral, antimicrobial & anti fungal properties of the garlic. When you swallow it down you won't taste it or smell it either. Just have the meal right after the garlic & it will settle the tummy.
Then you don't need to be fearful when you take your Mother out.
You can google up medical studies on the raw garlic
Making fresh vegetables juices ..especially the green juices..cucumber, apple, celery
Writing down 3 things i have to be grateful for before i sleep. And anything else that is heavy on my mind.
Praying...reaching up within myself for guidance for the right thing to say & do
Helping someone else. Calling someone just to check up on them. (not complaining about my own problems) Taking something i baked to a neighbor. Giving the first shopping trolley to the other person first. Different small things that get me out of my own head
Finally, remember, Nothing lasts forever.
One day you will look back and be reassured knowing you did the very best for your Mother.
Bless your heart :)

Momscgiver39,

You are most definitely not alone!!! I (along w/my amazing husband too! :)) take care of my 86 year old mom who has dementia. Being a FT caregiver is completely challenging enough but doing it in the midst of Covid has literally been a nightmare. My mom used to go to the senior center once a week and spend the day with friends but once it closed up, her dementia took a huge turn for the worse. She hallucinates all the time, has severe anxiety and cannot be left home alone so either I stay trapped in the house with her or my husband has to stay home so I can run some essential errands. We have had to baby proof every door and slider that opens because she is notorious for trying to leave when she has anxiety, setting off the alarm in the middle of the night on multiple occasions! We, also, have made the decision not to risk bringing a caregiver in when Covid cases are spiking so badly.

I have, by no means, figured out the magic solution but I have found that doing little things have really helped me get through the day the best I can under the circumstances. I have stopped dwelling on all of the things that are preventing us from having a more "normal" life and tried to focus on more positives - SOOO challenging to do at times, I know.

For me, I try and get outside daily. I'll set mom up with her walker on the driveway and I get fresh air, even if it's raining. Often, she will sit on the porch and rest and I can be outside but still keep an eye on her. Stretch, take deep breaths, fresh air does wonders! I work out multiple times a week - this is the single thing that has kept me the most sane and helps keep the physical stress levels down. As for my mental well being - this is by far the biggest challenge. Mainly, I try and keep busy, taking care of things at home or doing small easy projects I've been "meaning to" knock out. Smaller projects are do-able and give me a sense of accomplishment - a positive! I play with our pets and often think they have no idea how much the world has changed around them because their lives are pretty much the same! If I have any down time in the afternoon, I work on puzzles. I find this to be amazingly relaxing because your mind remains active but you're doing a calming activity. I also have a couple of those adult coloring books but I haven't worked on those in ages. Do you do or have you tried yoga? If so, there are so many online options and you can plug your computer into the TV for a better view. I go through phases with yoga and currently, I just don't have the patience for it. Sometimes I will do the stretching classes and that helps a lot or I get on the roller and work on some of my muscles. Anytime you can make your body feel better, the mind gets on board too...for the short time being anyway. Again every little thing counts!

I guess all of my suggestions are things you can do by yourself and doesn't really help that feeling of isolation. I cherish alone time (because it rarely happens) so it's less stressful for me not to be social during the pandemic. I do get some social outlet by keeping in contact with friends around the country. We "check in" every now and then and you always have the option to Skype/Zoom with your friends and relatives back home if you want to see a familiar face!

Again, no magic solutions but try and motivate (again challenging, I know) to try lots of different things and see if any of them help you feel even a little bit better. I think lots of small positives goes a long way and remember, none of this will be forever!

Hi. Please remember that you are not alone. I am the only caregiver for my 84 year old husband who is under Hospice care. After several falls last year he fell again in October 2019 and broke his C2 which required a hard collar for 6 months. Doctors are treating him for liver disease which causes other medical issues including low blood pressure. Since the last hospital stay his health as been declining steady and now he is bed ridden and sleeps 18-20 hours a day. I do everything for him. No other family available to help me. I felt alone even before the COVID19 mandates to stay home started in March. I am slowly accepting that my husband will not improve. It is hard to watch someone you love decline both mentally and physically each day.

My suggestion for you would be to set aside "me" time for reading, taking walks, gardening or any other hobby you enjoy. I love to make quilts and spend as much time as possible in my studio working on projects. I miss my other friends that are also quilters, but I try to keep in touch with them via Facetime and text messaging. We share photos of projects we are working on and celebrate together when a quilt is completed.

Keep in touch with family -- My family all live out of state so we don't see each other very often. Again I found they are just a text message away and enjoy catching up with them every few days.

Remember that the Lord is always with you. When taking care of my husband really gets me down say a little prayer and thank the Lord for his care for me. He is always there to comfort me and give me peace. I start each day with about an hour of "me" time which includes asking God for another day of his help to continue being a caregiver.

I wish you the best. Remember that other caregivers understand what you are going through. Be strong and remember to take time for yourself everyday.

Momscgiver, go fishing with your husband. It is fun and relaxing!! I am going with my husband tomorrow. Please, call one of the agencies to have someone come in your home to stay with your mother for a few hours. They take precautions. They wear masks, they wash their hands frequently. They have to take precautions for everyone to stay safe. Go fishing with your husband. Take a break from caregiving. You are worth it!!