She yells and screams all night, I barely get any sleep. Now she is crying all day and all night. I know she doesn't like to be alone in her room at night. I sit with her every night in hopes that she'll fall asleep and if she does she'll sleep for 3 hours max. Now she's picked up this new habit of crying. By nature when she cry's I console her, then I noticed once she gets what she wants she'll stop and soon as you do something she doesn't like ex: go to the bathroom and leave her, she gets so mad she'll scream JESUSSSSSSSSSSSS HELP ME JESUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS to the TOP of her lungs. Her throat is becoming sore from the yelling and crying. I make sure she's comfortable at all time's and she's not in physical pain. Please help! Now she's up saying it's her birthday and we all hate her😣😣😣. Is this just the way things will be or is this just a phase?
How do you know she's not in pain? It sure sounds to me like she's in pain.
At the very least, she needs to be checked for a UTI.
What med is she on? When you say it's fairly new, do you mean she just started taking it? Did they tell you how long before they can evaluate if it's working?
I always told my mom's docs ( after she was diagnosed with dementia) that I didn't really care a about the sedating effects of drugs they gave her, as long as she wasn't in psychic or physical pain.
Maybe that makes me a bad person, but the only thing that I ever promised my mom was "no pain".
Chantell, I took this to mean you aren't giving her the drug. If that is not a correct interpretation, don't read the rest of this message.
And you haven't let her try this new drug? Because you are afraid it MIGHT make her too sedated? What if you tried it and the side effects were too severe and so, with the doctor's advice you discontinue it, and Mom goes back to being miserable? Or you tried it and after a couple of weeks it worked and Mom was much more herself and comfortable?
This may sound harsh but I get frustrated with posts like this. Your loved one is miserable. You consult a doctor. Doctor suggests trying a new drug. You say No. You take her home where she gets even more miserable. What is wrong with this picture?
What were you hoping for from a doctor? A magic wand that comes with a guarantee? No effort to monitor it and make adjustments? That is not how medicine works and it sure as heck isn't the way it works with dementia! When people say, "Have Mom evaluated by a doctor," they don't say "and take any advice from the doctor very seriously" because that should be understood. No one should have to say it.
Barb, of course keeping your mom as pain-free as possible did not make you a bad person! Chantell, is that what you are worried about? That someone would perceive you as a bad person if you try a drug suggested by her doctor? Just focus on what is good for your mother. Don't worry about your reputation!
If I ever become constantly emotionally and psychically miserable and there is a chance a new drug would help, give me the drug! Monitor me, see if it is helping or adjustments are needed, but try anything that has a chance of helping! I would prefer being sedated and visiting in lala land than be in the present moment with severe pain.
Just my opinion, of course, but I sure hold it strongly!
If there is no other explanation, I'd explore if this due to the dementia? I know of a lady who called out Help! I'm dying, a lot. The doctors could find no explanation ,but, said that her particular type of condition that caused her dementia was causing it. I don't know of they were able to treat he with medication to help or not, but, not sleeping is not good for her or you. I'd speak with the doctors pronto. There is no substitute for medical attention when someone is in pain, imo.
Chantelle, can you care for your loved one under these conditions for another 4 or 5 years? If she's in great shape physically, she could live for a long time. Consider the meds, please.
Some folks seem to think that if you just comfort a dementia patient enough, or give them some distraction, all will be well. For a while, my brother insisted that all of moms mental anguish was " what she was doing to herself" and that she was induging in a " pity party". My mother would dutifully recite these idiocies and then go back to wringing her hands and weeping. What we didnt get at that time was that moms brain was irretrievably broken and that no matter how much reassurance and comfort and logic we presented, some piece of wiring that had previously allowed her to be relatively calm and worry free had shorted out.
What finally worked was a combo of two antidepressants and a small dose of antianxiety meds. She was not doped up, but frankly, I wouldn't have cared if she was .
She was calm most of the time. As her dementia progressed, she had some delusions about having a communicable disease and about having not paid her taxes. Her meds were adjusted and she became calm again.
I hope you can find your loved one some good relief through medication.
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