My Mother grew up during the Depression Era & was married to my Father who served active duty for over 21 years. My Mother is a very wise & frugal woman who did not spend money frivolously. Growing up we lived a modest but very comfortable life. As adults she was willing to help us financially if the need arised. Sadly my sister is one who thou works a very nice status job is always in need.
I live a bit aways from my Mothers house. My brother has lived in my Mothers house for over 17 years as before my Father passed he requested my brother move back to “help” Mom. My Sister moved back in with her adult son about 7 years ago due to her financial “hardships”.
My Brother is the youngest & quite frankly the favorite of my Mother. Before my Mother became ill she had mentioned wanting him to take over accounts if she was ever unable too. To me it made sense seeing she trusted him & he had lived there so long. I was quite surprised that about a year ago I discovered my Sister had begun helping Mom write out her bills, then when my Mothers illness began to decline my Sister gained POA.
My Mother receives 2 checks a month, soc sec & a pension from my Father. My Mother has no credit cards & the house is paid for. As far as I am aware she really has only the utilities to pay each month.
How I discovered my sister becoming POA was when we had an argument which she informed me that Mom was very comfortable financially. I was angry that my siblings were residing at my Mother's house not contributing anything financial as she paid for everything.
My Mother is now having Hospice care. My siblings say we need to “discuss arrangements” for her passing but apparently they have already discussed & are just informing me of their decision. I disagree with them wanting to have cremation based on multiple conversations I have had with Mom throughout the years. They tell me she has no life insurance or plans. I find it hard to believe for Mother thought ahead. Back in 2017 my Mother showed me a bank statement of hers showing over $70,000 in it. My siblings tell me there is nothing now. This blows my mind & blackens my heart horribly so to them. Especially when I think of all our Mother has done for us, especially them living off her, & there is not even a small amount left for a simple casket burial. My husband & I want to provide this service for my Mother when she passes & offered this up to them. My Brother has stayed silent as my Sister aggressively argued that is not what Mom wants.
Long story for a short questions:
My Mother resides in Maryland.
1) What little knowledge I have of POA in Maryland it states records & receipts should be kept. Does anyone check these receipts/records? Can a beneficiary request access to them at anytime? When my Mother does pass is the POA required to present them along with the Will?
2) Maryland also has a bit saying “reasonable expense for POA” are allowed. I am gathering this is considered “gifting”. But what is considered reasonable expenses?
I am having great difficulty understanding with my Mother having $70,000 in her account just a bit under 2 years ago, 2 checks monthly with basic bills that her accounts are depleted to such a point. My Mother has Medicaid & Tricare as well to help with a majority of her medical needs so anything from HER savings for HER care should have been a minimum expense.
Just wondering if a POA has to account to IRS or any other form for their actions.
it is difficult to go into detail why I am suspicious of my siblings. All in all it is rather petty. In the end we each have ourselves to answer too.
I know my post does not reflect it but I was attempting to get some insight seeing I am unable to address things directly with them without more offenses being taken.
As a beneficiary you are entitled to see accounting, but you may need an attorney to push the issue. Then consider if there is enough involved to make that worth it.