My husband has always had a severe sugar addiction, which I knew down the line could cause serious health issues and here we are. Dementia. Hardly able to walk (he is/was a Triathlete: Escape From Alcatraz swimmer and all that, climbed Kilimanjaro, motorcycles (2), the whole 9 yards), not able to drive, and we gave his son all the power tools, as, being an excellent carpenter, contractor, design/build business of his own, he cannot handle any of that anymore. So he eats. And eats sugar. Toast and jam, 1/2 loaf a day...last night he made a box of jello for dinner as I was alongside him making our nightly meal, salad and seafood with produce from the garden, and this morning I see from the dishes that he ate all 4 bowls that he made last night. And put them in the dishwasher and ran the dishwasher. Do I just stop buying sugar foods? He is reliant on me for everything, he is 77 - and I am 61. I am trying to keep him healthy and he says he would rather eat sugar and live a shorter life. I'm so depressed to see him deteriorate like this, but at this point in his life I just want him to be happy. Dementia is no fun, so sugar is his drug of choice. Please share your thoughts and expertise!! Thank you in advance. I read these emails every day and this group is helping me every day.
I remember how, in the early 1950s my parents were told that my 85 year old grandmother should be denied puffed rice cereal with half and half cream and spoonfuls of sugar (which is all she would eat on some days). Such meals were going to kill her, said the doctor. They did kill her. She lived only 5 more years!
I know some readers will find my tongue-in-cheek words offensive, uncaring, unscientific. I apologize if they come across that way. Please don't be offended. I'm already past 77 and can, in some ways, sympathize with Jamisons husband, who apparently relished more than a little risk in his life. And what a wonderfully exciting and productive life it has been. Okay, his diet is a risk he's not willing to give up. ( I know that someday, somebody, will have to pry a Snickers bar from my cold dead hands). If hubby can make jello and operate the dishwasher he's a long ways from Alzheimers.
You may be just strengthening his resistance by making such an issue over diet. You obviously love him a lot. Tell him so. Hug him . Do things together. Give him healthy foods when he will eat them, but when he won't....change your focus. Pick your battles. You can still take good care of yourself and I hope you will. Your husband is a lucky man to have such a caring wife.
I hope others will tell you how to make carrot shreds in a jello salad mold, how to incorporate some things like the natural sugars of sweet potatoes with a little brown sugar, how to trick him into a wonderful dish made of potatoes, cheese and cream. An Italian meatball sandwich dripping with cheese? Must be something. Manwhile, keep some sugar free jello stuffed with great fruits and veggies on hand at all time.
Wishing you luck. I am an old RN and I don't much believe in deprivation at this point. Why? For what? As Dr. Dean Edell used to say "Why. For another year in the nursing home?" You might want to find an old copy of his book "Eat, Drink and be Merry".
Lives are already destroyed by dementia. Why destroy what's left of them with restricted diets for no good reason?
Best of luck as you navigate this difficult road.
My husband was 37, the picture of health, diet conscious, exercised, etc. He felt bad a couple of days, went to the doctor. Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Dead less than a year later. If he were alive and wanted sugar I’d go buy it for him. One never knows what the future holds. Have some pleasure while you’re able to enjoy.
My mother 94/Dementia eats so much junk food, I don’t like it but food has become her reason for life.
If I get dementia I sure hope someone still brings me doughnuts!
Can you make the jello for him and add fresh fruit, nuts, shredded veggies? This would give him his sugar fix and let you know that he is getting some nutrition with it.
I would avoid artificial sweeteners, they have been proven to be neurotoxins. Any benefit of reducing sugar is cancelled out and then some.
You can use whole sugar (the kind that has all the nutrients left in it, it is dark brown and delicious), molasses, maple sugar, raw honey and fruits to sweeten things without filling up with white sugar.
I would also look at ingredients and avoid as much high fructose corn syrup as possible. It is killing our gut health and it is all gmo with a side of round up.
Be creative and get those fibers and nutrients into his sweet treats. You will see that he doesn't just eat the entire thing because he will feel more sated.
Real sugar coke with lime jello and fresh fruits and walnuts is crazy good and a well balanced meal. I know it sounds gross, but it is one of those recipes that shocks you.
You have to learn to pick your battles with dementia, no reasoning with a broken brain. Find ways to meet both of your desires. Honestly, I would not want to have a long life if I was losing my mind. Maybe he feels the same way.