My husband has always had a severe sugar addiction, which I knew down the line could cause serious health issues and here we are. Dementia. Hardly able to walk (he is/was a Triathlete: Escape From Alcatraz swimmer and all that, climbed Kilimanjaro, motorcycles (2), the whole 9 yards), not able to drive, and we gave his son all the power tools, as, being an excellent carpenter, contractor, design/build business of his own, he cannot handle any of that anymore. So he eats. And eats sugar. Toast and jam, 1/2 loaf a day...last night he made a box of jello for dinner as I was alongside him making our nightly meal, salad and seafood with produce from the garden, and this morning I see from the dishes that he ate all 4 bowls that he made last night. And put them in the dishwasher and ran the dishwasher. Do I just stop buying sugar foods? He is reliant on me for everything, he is 77 - and I am 61. I am trying to keep him healthy and he says he would rather eat sugar and live a shorter life. I'm so depressed to see him deteriorate like this, but at this point in his life I just want him to be happy. Dementia is no fun, so sugar is his drug of choice. Please share your thoughts and expertise!! Thank you in advance. I read these emails every day and this group is helping me every day.
But then again, why eat something that is nutritionally valueless if you don't have to and it's got a question mark over it?
Exactly! I don’t trust fake food. Moderation is the key.
CM,
What is your take on these popular ‘energy’ drinks? I must admit I have never had one. I love my coffee. Not saying coffee is a health food but I think the energy drinks aren’t so great and can cause health problems.
When my kids used to ask for them I did not buy them. Of course after they moved away I know they tried them. All of their friends drink them.
What’s in those things anyway? Massive amounts of caffeine? I’ve never read an ingredient label because I have never been interested in buying them. Are they okay for occasional use?
Sugar is an issue for diabetics. Other than that I feel moderation is the key to everything.
If you do the shopping you control the food in the house. If the doctor indicates there is a reason to be concerned about his consumption, then you can shop accordingly. Sugar free Jello, low sugar jam. Buy multi grain, or oatmeal bread, so he is getting additional nutrients with his jam on toast.
My neighbour Al, had diabetes and chose to eat himself to death. His wife had left him and he did not feel like he had anything further to live for, so he drank regular coke, ate loads of sweets and died in his early 60's.
If you dh's doctor says his blood sugar is ok, then you can worry less, but still replace some of the sugar filled snacks with lower sugar ones. Be mindful that too much sugar substitute can lead to diarrhea. My former mil found this out when she ate an entire jar of sugar free jam I had made her in 2 days. Served her right for being so greedy.
My husband was 37, the picture of health, diet conscious, exercised, etc. He felt bad a couple of days, went to the doctor. Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Dead less than a year later. If he were alive and wanted sugar I’d go buy it for him. One never knows what the future holds. Have some pleasure while you’re able to enjoy.
Lives are already destroyed by dementia. Why destroy what's left of them with restricted diets for no good reason?
Best of luck as you navigate this difficult road.
If I get dementia I sure hope someone still brings me doughnuts!
I think you should not worry about this for your husband. You might try and reduce some of what he consumes. Make the jello yourself in controlled amounts. Try the sugar free choices and see if he notices the difference. He is suffering and no doubt is aware all is not right. If this brings him pleasure why deny it. I think the best you can do is control certain amounts. Hopefully this might cause you less frustration. I wish you the best. It is very hard to live with a serious health issue. At 63 I never thought this disaster would happen to me. Yesterday I had to show my 89 year old mother my face. She suffers from memory loss. The look on her face was heartbreaking. I know she loves me and there is nothing she can do. I hope it won't consume her thoughts.
My parents [90+] would have on their grocery list a few healthy items until I would come to the Hostess Cupcakes, the vanilla fudge ice cream, the chocolate chip muffins, blueberry pie, several cans of whip cream, Little Debbies snacks, etc.
Yes, I am from the school that believes if one reaches a certain age, if they want ice cream for breakfast you ask "one scoop or two".
You could try organic foods, example I found that Nature's Path makes really good tasting cereals.
I hope others will tell you how to make carrot shreds in a jello salad mold, how to incorporate some things like the natural sugars of sweet potatoes with a little brown sugar, how to trick him into a wonderful dish made of potatoes, cheese and cream. An Italian meatball sandwich dripping with cheese? Must be something. Manwhile, keep some sugar free jello stuffed with great fruits and veggies on hand at all time.
Wishing you luck. I am an old RN and I don't much believe in deprivation at this point. Why? For what? As Dr. Dean Edell used to say "Why. For another year in the nursing home?" You might want to find an old copy of his book "Eat, Drink and be Merry".
You could stop buying sugary foods (or try sugar free alternatives) but if he has access to transportation or money, he'll get it himself if you don't.
I'm no medical expert, but this "Nah, I'd rather just eat sugar and die earlier" doesn't sound like dementia. It sounds more like depression. When someone is depressed, they don't care about themselves or how they hurt others. Doesn't mean they're bad people; just not mentally well.
It's been proven that sugar 'lights up' the brain much like cocaine does. It stimulates the feel-good chemicals. The resulting insulin spike that leads to the sugar crash just drives the person to eat more of it again, and there's the vicious cycle that's quite difficult to break. Main thing I've seen sugar do is contribute to diabetes. If he hasn't gotten that by now, don't guess he ever will?
16 years may not have seemed like a big gap when you married, but now you are middle age with an elderly husband. Unfortunately, he will be "done" mentally and physically before you will.
The thing is, as sugar goes, jam and jello are not big league stuff. If you really want to cram pure sucrose down yourself, drink original Coke or coat everything with frosting. He's eating sugar with fruit in it on bread, and sugar with protein in it, and if he's eating the good stuff too maybe it's not so simple to understand as a sweet tooth.
Do you have access to a dietitian? Preferably one with a good insight into dementia-related eating/appetite disorders?
fructose is processed not digestion by but directly by the liver. Liver disease and every other metabolic syndromes are the result,