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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You can put controls on that QVC channel! My Dad had to do that with my mother. Not sure how you do it but contact your Pay T.V. company and I am sure they will be glad to help you out! (I think he had a password for it)! Good Luck!
Lol. My Mom buys so many clothes it's ridiculous. Her closets are packed. I told her she could keep out of season things in my guest closet, but now that's packed too. She's constantly buying things that don't fit so I have to send them back.. She's spends hundreds of dollars in return postage.
I someone sends her a coupon she has to spend it.
She buys more ridiculous time savers. That don't save time because I have to send them back.
My husband went through this too -I do think it's one of the early stages of dementia. He bought all kinds of tacky things (THREE Snuggies!) and became obsessed with Publisher's Clearinghouse contests. Eventually I took over all the bill -paying (watch out that she's becoming late with those) and took the credit cards and checkbook and wallet. He still complains once in a while, but not often.
My widowed father went overboard signing up for expensive online dating sites approx. five years after my mother's passing. I knew it had much to do with loneliness and mild depression, but one look at his credit card bill and I simply took the card away from him. My brother and I both explained to him (brought him back to reality) that he barely has enough income on which to live, let alone sign up for every dating site on the web! He realized we were right, and all agreed that I was to become his POA, to handle all his bills and any incidental purchases he may have wanted. My brother and I DID give dad a gift card for $50, that he could use for any online purchases, but we feared that could become a 'monster' and that he would ask for more. He only used it once (for half of the amount - there is still an available balance), and has stopped frivolous online spending. That was months ago and all is still well. Shopping in stores is not so much an issue, as he is unable to drive so is with me for groceries, etc. Hope this helps someone. It is difficult, but sometimes inevitable, that we children become the parent - the circle of life.
I don't think just in case items are a symptom of AD. I have 2 of pratically everything. I buy the item very on sale or at a yard sale. I have the 2 one just in case the 1st one breaks. Then, I don't have to immediately run to a store to pay full price to replace the item. I have 2 fans, heaters, coffee makers etc I don't hoard just have back ups.
Yes, I worried about my husband's pride, too, as he'd always handled all the finances and taxes, has a Master's in Economics. But when I encountered a late fee for one credit card and took a look at his desk, I just broke it to him as gently as I could that I would be happy to do the bills now. I weaned him from one thing at a time, am doing all bills online now so he never even sees them -I never give him any mail any more without looking at it first, and the pleas for donations have stopped altogether. I did let him send in some donations for a while, but I started checking on the charities online first and talked him out of quite a few. The only one he still wants to do is a check to the church once a year, doesn't even ask about others.
I have found that my mother has a need to shop due to her fears from being a depression child. I give her gift cards to the Dollar Tree and take her shopping. It cuts down on some of her impulsive shopping.
Bottom line. Dementia alters your ability to make clear, logical decisions. It can take one to the reality of life 40-60 years ago and one might be acting upon this reality. Perhaps a person is trying self help, doesn't know how and does what looks totally off track. I agree with Chimonger that many of the dementia affected individual act out of fear and need reassurance, our kindness and respect when we make difficult decisions on their behalf.
Hi all, Mom, too collects. She has done this for a long time. As a person who appreciates organization, it makes me crazy. I remind myself that I am not going to change her at this point. I try to ignore the piles when I visit. I would say that in Mom's case it isn't so much "fear" as attachment. She sees the value in every single piece of trash. It's really creative in that she sees possibilities for everything. I would also say that it's more about control than fear ('you can't make me throw that away'.) My solution... try to intercede before the junk, especially junk mail, comes into the house. She can't miss what she doesn't know exists.
I recently wrote Publisher's Clearing house and they were quickly responsive. AMAZINGLY they stopped sending! Here is the e-mail address that I wrote explaining the situation: PCH Opt Out:
All of the unwanted solicitation borderlines on elder abuse to me. The charitable groups prey on Mom's weakness at seeing an injured or sick child, puppy, horse, wolf, tiger, polar bear and any other furry creature. She gets them every single day. I have also done another junk mail opt out, but I do not have the website handy. It's supposed to stop junk mail and Power of Attorney's can fill it out. Dad just passed a few months ago so I completed for him as well. They are both still getting a lot of unwanted items.
This site is such a comfort in knowing others are going through similar challenges.
And the salespeople in stores prey upon people like my MIL. She went to Best Buy looking for a new tv and ended up spending $1700 on a tv, top-of-the-line cables, a blu-ray player, and a sound bar. When I went down there to visit, the sound bar wasn't even there! Did the installer take it? Where is it? The tv is 42" and she doesn't even know what a blu-ray player is! She still thinks it might play her 3 quarter inch tapes!!! This is when my husband and his sister finally realized that this is a problem. (she blew her entire retirement fund on stuff in the past and ended up having to be dug out of her house!) They changed her mailing address so they could monitor what's going on. BUT, they don't have the courage to take away her debit card. Now, because she doesn't get out to shop much and isn't driving anymore, all she does is go to the ATM and take out hundreds of dollars just to keep in her pocketbook! She is practically destitute after all the things she has done. She also went to the dentist and instead of choosing the practical and affordable choice of dentures, she chose to get implants which cost her $20,000 out-of-pocket!!!! She will be paying for that for years to come! The children HAVE to take control of the finances and prevent the parent from destroying their bank accounts! I know it's scary to confront them with this, but it will protect them. When my FIL (her ex) passes away, and the money for her care dries up, things are going to get really ugly when she has to move in with one of us.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I someone sends her a coupon she has to spend it.
She buys more ridiculous time savers. That don't save time because I have to send them back.
I'd like to ban QVC from her tv.
Mom, too collects. She has done this for a long time. As a person who appreciates organization, it makes me crazy. I remind myself that I am not going to change her at this point. I try to ignore the piles when I visit. I would say that in Mom's case it isn't so much "fear" as attachment. She sees the value in every single piece of trash. It's really creative in that she sees possibilities for everything. I would also say that it's more about control than fear ('you can't make me throw that away'.) My solution... try to intercede before the junk, especially junk mail, comes into the house. She can't miss what she doesn't know exists.
I recently wrote Publisher's Clearing house and they were quickly responsive. AMAZINGLY they stopped sending! Here is the e-mail address that I wrote explaining the situation: PCH Opt Out:
All of the unwanted solicitation borderlines on elder abuse to me. The charitable groups prey on Mom's weakness at seeing an injured or sick child, puppy, horse, wolf, tiger, polar bear and any other furry creature. She gets them every single day. I have also done another junk mail opt out, but I do not have the website handy. It's supposed to stop junk mail and Power of Attorney's can fill it out. Dad just passed a few months ago so I completed for him as well. They are both still getting a lot of unwanted items.
This site is such a comfort in knowing others are going through similar challenges.
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